Mr. Deeds Goes to Town Page #17

98. MED. SHOT

The group watches him silently as he leaves the table

accompanied by Babe. For a moment they are nonplussed -

then they break into raucous laughter - all but Morrow.

CLOSE TRUCKING SHOT

With Longfellow and Babe as they take several steps. Then

he abruptly stops.

LONGFELLOW:

(turning to them)

There's just one thing more. If it

weren't for Miss Dawson being here

with me, I'd probably bump your

heads together.

BABE:

(quickly)

Oh, I don't mind.

Longfellow stares at her for a moment.

LONGFELLOW:

Then I guess maybe I will.

He starts back toward the table.

MED. SHOT AT TABLE

Protectively, Brookfield and Henaberry rise from their

chairs. But they are too late, for Longfellow clips

Brookfield on the chin first with his left fist - and with

his right catches Henaberry on the jaw. The punches are

almost simultaneous. The surprise attack catches the men

off-guard and they fall backward. A waiter rushes forward

to escort Longfellow and Babe out.

WAITER:

(calling out)

Manager!

Morrow, who never budged from his chair, and who has watched

Longfellow with great admiration, now rises to catch up to

him.

MORROW:

(an outcry)

Eureka!

INT. FOYER OF TULLIO'S

101. MED. SHOT

As Morrow catches up to Longfellow and Babe, who are on

their way out. The waiter is shooing people away.

WAITER:

Step aside, step aside!

Morrow barges forward. Longfellow and Babe turn.

MORROW:

(obviously groggy

with drink)

Say fellow, you neglected me - and

I feel very put out.

(points to his chin)

Look, sock it right there, will

you? Lay one right on the button,[6]

but sock it hard.

CLOSE SHOT - THE THREE

LONGFELLOW:

That's all right. I got it off my

chest.

MORROW:

The difference between them and me

is I know when I've been a skunk.

You take me to the nearest news-

stand and I'll eat a pack of your

postcards raw. Raw!

Longfellow and Babe smile. As Morrow continues to speak,

he sways drunkenly and would fall over backwards a couple

of times in midsentence if the alert Longfellow didn't

have a clutch on his collar.

MORROW:

Oh, what a magnificent deflation

of smugness. Pal, you've added ten

years to my life! A poet with a

straight left and a right hook -

delicious! Delicious! You're my

guest from now on - forever and a

day - even unto eternity!

LONGFELLOW:

Thanks, but Miss Dawson and I are

going out to see the sights.

MORROW:

Fine, fine. Swell, You just showed

me a sight lovely to behold, and

I'd like to reciprocate. Listen,

you hop aboard my magic carpet—

(Longfellow catches

him before he falls

backward in his

enthusiasm)

—thanks - and I'll show you sights

that you've never seen before.

LONGFELLOW:

I'd kind of like to see Grant's

Tomb - and the Statue of Liberty.

CLOSE SHOT - GROUP

Favoring Morrow.

MORROW:

Well, you'll not only see those,

but before the evening's half

through, you'll be leaning against

the Leaning Tower of Pisa - you'll

mount Mt. Everest. I'll show you

the Pyramids and all the little

Pyramiddes, leaping from sphinx to

sphinx. Pal, how would you like to

go on a real, old-fashioned binge?

LONGFELLOW:

(puzzled)

Binge?

MORROW:

Yes. I mean the real McCoy. Listen,

you play saloon with me, and I'll

introduce you to every wit, every

nit-wit, and every half-wit in New

York. We'll go on a twister that'll

make Omar the soused philosopher

of Persia[7] look like an anemic

on a goat's milk diet.

Longfellow saves him - once again - from crashing over.

CLOSE SHOT - GROUP

Featuring Longfellow.

LONGFELLOW:

(vaguely)

That ought to be fun.

MORROW:

Fun? Say, listen, I'll take you

on a bender that will live in your

memory as a thing of beauty and

joy forever.

(to someone off)

Boy! Boy! My headpiece!

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