Mr. Lucky Page #5

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- Me, I'm a bloke...that's a heap a coke.

Well this twist and twirl is going to...

take care of the heap of cokes... um...

Cabbage patch... scratch.

We'll stop at my house. It's on the way.

- Anybody home?

- No.

So the Crunk and me is sitting in

this coffee joint when...

in comes a pot and pan with his

cheese and kisses.

Pot and pan... that's a man...

- Cheese and kisses... that's the misses.

- Sure.

Well the Crunk said to me...

Pipe a highs at the I suppose on that

guys torn and strife in the tommy horner.

Wait a minute, I'm lost!

Pipe a highs at... that's a pipe.

- Take a look...

- At the I suppose...

- Oh, the nose!

- On that guys storm and strife in the tommy horner.

On his wife... in the corner!

Well what happened?

The guy come over and punched the Crunk

in the snoot.

- Why?

- He was from Australia!

- Thanks chum, I'll finish it myself.

- Yes sir.

Bang, bang fella.

- Miss Dorothy.

- Yes?

Shall I telephone for a bottle and stopper?

- A what?

- A copper, in the American vernacular.

Why Foster, don't tell me you've been

to Australia?

That's where I met me storm and strife...

Mrs. Foster. Please forgive me Miss Dorothy,

but...

Are you aware of the character of this

gentleman?

- Oh I think so, why?

- You know he carries a lady from Bristol?

- A what?

- In American parlance...

a rod, if you get what I mean.

Don't be alarmed Foster. I think it's part

of his character.

- He carries it for balance.

- Yes Miss Dorothy.

How ya coming with the fiddle?

How'd you do that, with a knife and fork?

- I never could sew.

- You better take a lesson from Van Every.

Foster was quite alarmed. He thought I

should send for a bottle and stopper.

- What for?

- The lady from Bristol.

Oh, that. Well I wouldn't feel dressed

without one.

- You ever killed anyone?

- No, I'm too good a shot.

Hey look, don't get me wrong. I'm a

gambler, not a gangster.

Tell me some more. Some more jingo

talk.

Oh that...

Now look, if we were going together...

you'd be my briny marlin. My darling.

Then I'd be the guy who'd give you that

simple simon for your long and linger.

The guy what give me the simple simon

was my mother.

More!

Bonny fairs your hair.

Dots and dies... the I suppose...

North and south.

Joe!

- Take off your mask. You're with friends.

- Don't be silly.

C'mon briny marlin, don't play games.

- I'm not!

- Then don't give me those baby blues!

You think I brought you here because...

- because...

- Didn't ya?

- Or have you changed your mind?

- We seem to be talking in circles.

Yeah, it so happens there's a difference

of opinion.

Suppose we settle it with that game

you played with McDougal.

- What you mean that uh...

- Uh huh.

Okay.

- You ready?

- Uh huh.

Relax, don't get excited.

- Which hand.

- Neither!

C'mon, play fair. You gotta guess.

Neither! Open them both!

Well looks like you lost.

Well, when you played it with McDougal you...

Yeah, well that was different.

Never give a sucker an even break...

but don't cheat a friend.

I believe in that. I live by it.

You don't think I'd play phony with you?!

Well, you lost.

Oh, but, I didn't know the rules of the game.

Okay.

Where's my tit for tat?

Joe.

What?

Will you run the gambling concession

at the ball?

Well, well. Are you sure you can trust me?

Now I know I can.

Okay. You got a deal.

She laid it right in my lap. She

asked me to run the games.

We're gonna clean up this town and

clear for Havana.

- How much of a cut do we take?

- No cut, we're taking the take!

The gamp is on. Anything goes.

We'll leave em a little chicken feed. Make

it look legitimate.

I'm gonna need 5 or 6 grand to get those games

rolling in case we get some hit and run players.

Any of you guys got a bank roll stashed away?

- Not a thing...

- Cigarette money...

- Why don't you get it from the war relief people?

- How would it look for the big shot to go around asking...

those people, mama, give me a quarter to

see the movie show.

- Queer the whole thing.

- Where ya gonna get it chief.

I'll pick it off a tree.

C'mon.

I beg pardon, sir.

Miss Dorothy's just come in, sir.

- Leave us alone Foster.

- Yes sir.

- Hello you old darling.

- Come here Dot!

Wait til I powder my I suppose and

comb my bonny fair.

Where on earth do you pick up such

gibberish?

From Foster. It's a wonderful slang

grandfather.

- You should talk to him.

- I've been talking to Foster.

Why do you mean Dot by bringing

a gangster into this house.

Now don't tell me you're worrying

about me grandfather.

I'd give you odds against any seven

gangsters in the city...

but I don't want them coming to my house!

- What were you doing with the

unhappy wretch?

- Yeah?

- Grandfather, I think you'd like him.

- You two have a lot in common.

- In the name of sweet reason, what?

You're both tough. Oh I know, you're

tough in a...

highly moral and civilized way, but...

Fundamentally it's the same thing. It's...

- it's character.

- Nonsense!

What do you see in a fellow like that?!

Joe is the first man I ever met I'm

afraid of.

It's exciting.

See here Dot. This fellow hasn't been

making advances to you, has he?

- Of course! He kissed me!

- What?!

Right on the north and south. I

pretended to be angry but...

the truth is I liked it.

Now see here Dot, I will not have...

Grandfather don't worry, I'm

quite safe.

- Get rid of him, child.

- I will as soon as he's served his purpose.

I agree with you. I think he'd be too

hard to tame.

- Good night, grandfather.

- Dot, what's his name?

The heap a coke... you'll never

believe me.

Joe Bascopolous.

-Joe what?!

-Bascopolous.

Now do you wonder why I call him by

his first name.

Good night, briny marlin.

Dorothy, we've had the busiest morning. A solid

stream of people buying tickets to the ball.

- The telephones haven't stopped ringing.

- Do you suppose they found out about the gambling?

Well how could they. Mr Bascopolous told

me emphatically not to tell anyone.

- Well that's what he told me.

- You didn't tell anyone?

Well I'd, I'd, I'd...

In the strictest confidence I...

I'll get another 500 tickets by noon or

I'll get another printer.

- Good morning.

- Hello, genius.

- I didn't think you'd ever be late.

- I've been down town trying to charter a steamship.

- What's the matter?

- That tit for tat.

- Don't you like it?

- Like it...

I'm fascinated.

Oh Veronica. Do we have $6000 in

our account?

- Of course not dear. What for?

- Well the war convoy commission is...

expecting a freighter in, but they won't

hold it for us unless we put down a $6000 deposit today.

Oh, dear.

Well don't worry about it. I'll send Mr.

Hargraves my personal check.

I can get it out of the proceeds

Friday night.

You're a darling.

Say, would you like me to take that

check downtown for you?

You could. Look up the commission.

Somewhere on Fulton street.

- Hello Angel.

- Now see here...

What's all this nonsense about gambling

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