Mr. Magoo

Oh, Magoo, you've done it again.

Another day in the can.

Good night, Mrs Wonderbottom.

Ugliest hairdo I've ever seen.

Hold the elevator!

Aha!

Express elevator.

Elevator with a view!

Now that's what I call

an express.

Good Godfrey! Earthquake!

Don't panic, everyone.

We've got enough canned food here

to cover any emergency.

That's better.

Carry on, boys.

Parking lot. Mm-hmm.

Whoopsie.

By George, somebody fix the lights...

before anyone trips.

The escalator to the parking lot.

Such sophistication!

- Good night, Henry.

- Good night.

Right turn only.

Road hog!

Blasted potholes!

The checkered flag?

Magoo, you, you speed demon, you!

You've still got it.

El Nino's back.

Oh, Magoo, you've done it again.

And tonight, Quincy Magoo,

the canned vegetable king...

will dedicate the new museum wing

he has donated to the city.

The Magoo Rotunda will house

a travelling exhibit...

of the treasures of Kuristan...

including the rarest of all rubies,

the Star of Kuristan.

Treat her gently, young fella.

Check underneath. I think

there's something rattling there.

Yes, you dropped the keys, my boy.

It's the most precious ruby

in the world.

- Lovely.

- It's just gorgeous.

- It's exquisite.

- Exquisite.

No. Actually it's corundum.

That's an aluminum oxide.

Okay, don't take my word for it.

Exquisite is an adjective,

not an element.

All right. If you're so smart,

how come Mr Cloquet told me...

to watch you like a hawk?

Cloquet said that?

Why is it that someone always seems

to burn the rumaki?

Maybe you should see

another eye doctor.

Waldo, Hiram has been my optometrist

since I was a small boy in knee pants.

He's like 2,000 years old.

All his other patients are dead.

You can't hold that against him.

But he's still making appointments

with them.

Trust me, you need a second opinion.

Oh, my gosh!

- Would you, would you look at that!

- What?

Wait, don't look. Don't look.

- What?

- She's coming this way.

Mr Magoo?

I am Stacey Sampanahoditra

of the Kuristani foreign office.

Oh. This is my nephew Waldo.

Waldo Magoo. It is an honour.

Oh.

Uh, you'll have to forgive him

sometimes.

He gets like that, lost in thought.

Quite a scholar, you know.

Graduated with a large class.

Isn't that right, Waldo?

Waldo?

Waldo!

Yeah. L-l, I w-went there to college.

Oh.

Uh, Waldo, why don't you invite,

uh, Stacey to our opera tomorrow night?

I would be most honoured, sir.

Stacey...

will you join us

for the opera tomorrow night?

It's a, uh, benefit performance.

Uh, we're doing excerpts

from the Norsemen saga.

I look forward to it.

Please excuse me.

I must greet diplomats.

That's a very attractive young lady.

But I'm, I'm such a fool.

l-I tried to offer her a snack.

Oh, Waldo, don't be so hard on yourself.

Cupid makes fools of us all.

And now, as curator of this museum...

it is my pleasure

to present our benefactor...

a man of great vision,

Quincy Magoo.

- Step right this way, sir.

- Ah, well, thank you, thank you.

Ah, well, may, uh, may all

of the exhibits in this hall...

chime with the light

of human knowledge.

My dear, thank you.

Thank you.

Hey!

Look out! Watch out!

Oh, yes.

Great Scott!

What is this, indoor fireworks?

What a wonderful touch.

Excuse me.

Or a blackout.

I should inform the power company here.

Get that fixed,

and get these lights back on.

Hello down here.

Public telephone.

Oh, what... Excuse me, sir.

We have an emergency...

Great Scott!

We have an injured man here.

Bandaged from head to foot.

Help. Some assistance, please.

And whoever did it

has stolen the telepho...

God! They gave me a bad mask.

Okay. Go.

I gotta watch her like a hawk.

Morgan!

You just, uh, you just hang on.

I'll get you some medical attention.

You stay right here.

No, you're in no condition...

Oh, well.

How many times must I tell you?

Stay back in the booth, man.

I'll take care of him.

I'll be back. I'll get some help

or maybe find a telephone.

Freeze! Drop the gun.

Turn around.

Yes, sure.

Must be a phone out there somewhere.

Well, if you can't bring Mohammed

to the mountain...

Morning, Angus.

Avast, Angus.

Are you ready to cast off?

Waldo? What are you doing here?

Oh, just cleaning your windshield.

Aha, my boy, you are a prince,

but I have a date with a flounder.

- Anchors aweigh.

- Anchors aweigh.

Oh, the windshield did need cleaning,

huh? Right, Angus?

I don't think I've seen it

this clear since 1956.

Well, now that you're here,

we'd better inform the police.

Orders, U.S. State Department.

This incident is to remain

completely under wraps.

Which includes the crazy 9-1-1 call

about a bandaged man in the museum.

We substitute a replica

of the jewel and...

And we open the exhibit

as if nothing has happened.

Hold it. Who the hell are you?

And who told the State Department?

I did. They said they would send two

of their very best operatives.

Gustave Anders, CIA.

I'm in charge

of this investigation.

Chuck Stupak, FBl, and

I'm in charge of this investigation.

The CIA has no jurisdiction

on American soil.

This could very well become

an international incident.

Not if you don't get in my way,

fancy pants.

Hmm?

Oh.

I don't get it.

There's nothing in the papers.

It's a trap.

They're trying to lull us

into a false sense of security...

and then bust us

when we make a careless move.

We'll never make it to Cloquet's.

They're onto us, Luanne.

- I can feel it in my...

- Morgan, that's yesterday's paper.

Oh.

Nothing like the old sea air

to clean out the pipes.

Huh? Right, Angus?

The sun is a little hot.

Time to apply the old Ban de Soleil.

There we go.

Oh. A very refreshing,

minty fragrance.

Ah, the French.

They think of everything.

What's that? The old fog

rolling in, thick as pea soup?

Not my pea soup, mind you,

but maybe one of those other brands.

Bob, why steal the Star for your boss,

Cloquet, and get peanuts for it...

when he can turn around

and auction it off for millions?

Why not auction it off ourselves?

That way we get millions

and each other.

Me and you?

I could take you to places

you've never been before.

I've never been to Toronto.

I know a little cosy

bed-and-breakfast place in Toronto...

but we could skip the breakfast part.

Come on, Angus. We won't let

a little fog stop us, huh?

You rotten seagulls!

You con-sarned buzzards, you!

Uncivilized behaviour.

I'd never do anything like that to you.

I'm gonna have to get this

dry-cleaned now.

Blast your...

Ho-ho-ho. I've got a strike.

Well, shiver my timbers!

It's a lunker!

Just call me Ishmael.

It's Moby Dick!

Why, look at that... Look at...

Look at that, Angus.

It's huge.

He was a big one, Angus.

Just look at the size

of those, uh, uh, pants.

Well, I'd say we were in

the Bermuda Triangle...

but we're nowhere near Bermuda.

I'll just play it safe

and head for shore.

Well, Angus, here we are in safe harbour

once again.

Well, an escalator to the top.

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