Mr. Pig Page #2

- That's for women.

- All right.

Okay, I'm gonna give you

a taste of the real stuff.

Ambrose, a quick question.

Is it true that, "Once you go black,

you never go back"?

Now, this is the real stuff.

This is from the Calayo family

secret stash, my friend.

And you know

we keep the best for ourselves.

Cheers.

How's that?

That's classic, Mr. Pig.

That's classic, Mr. Pig.

Why, "Mr. Pig"?

That's how we call him, Mr. Pig.

- Yeah, it was Chila, right?

- Yeah, damn Chila.

There was an Aujeszky epidemic

at the hog fair, so...

I mean, nobody knew which hog

was the patient zero, as they say,

so they were going to

sacrifice all of them

until my friend here came,

and he checked every single hog

until he found the one.

- How did you do it?

- He talked to them.

- No.

- Yeah, he talked to them.

No, no. No, it wasn't the talking.

It's listening.

I was listening to them.

He became the hero of the fair.

I mean, all the farmers were

offering their animals to him,

and some, even their daughters.

Remember?

Not a good breed.

- I like that.

- And when in Rome.

You had your eye on Brianda, remember?

Yeah, no, Brianda, I mean,

she was this young singer.

Brianda was flirting with him

in front of the whole palenque.

I mean, everybody was there.

And my dad,

he was trying to save his ass, right?

So, he keeps telling Ambrose,

"Hey, no, Brianda is the mistress of

- "the presidente municipal..."

- No, no.

Brianda was your father's mistress.

But because your mother,

God rest her soul, was there,

he came up with

this presidente mistress story.

What did you do? What happened?

She came back to the hotel with me.

Did you know about this?

Calayo was really mad at me.

We didn't talk for a year.

Eventually, we made up.

I'm going to sleep.

Good night.

You make yourself at home.

- I gotta go.

- Night-night.

Good night, Ambrose.

Night-night.

Chila.

It's done. I got the money.

Yeah, this kid held his word.

I'll get there on Thursday.

Call Brianda, and Ermilo, and everybody.

We're gonna have one last party

like in the day.

Before I leave,

can I say goodbye to my hog?

Of course.

These are the big boys.

This is where Howie is gonna live.

Antibiotics?

Without them,

they will get sick in a minute.

Because this is not

the right way to raise them!

- This is the future...

- No, it's not!

Ambrose.

Ambrose!

Calm down, Ambrose.

Come on, Ambrose!

PROPER:

WORK ATTIRE REQUIRED

He says they can't get it out of

the truck. The pig is being difficult.

Tell him to use the stick, damn it.

They aren't rookies.

Use the stick. You are acting

like rookies, dumbasses.

I told them to quarantine it.

The old man wants to see it,

and we have to give him the truck back.

It's urgent that you quarantine it.

Hello.

Where's my hog?

Is Payo here?

Hey, Ambrose, my friend.

How was your shower?

Are you feeling better?

I need to see my hog.

Your hog?

Where is he?

Give me a second.

Hey, hey, hey, stop it!

Hey, stop it!

Stop it, hey, give me this.

Come here. Come on.

It's all right, Howie.

It's my fault. Come on.

So...

You wanna know how it feels?

- You like it?

- Calm down.

You like it?

Calm down. Get away or I will f*** you up!

I am going to f*** you up! Help me, man!

You want some of it, too?

You wanna feel how it feels?

Hey, you want some of this?

Calm down, man. Let's talk about this.

No, no, this is wrong!

Ambrose, that's the way it's done now.

Okay? Just, let's talk about it.

That's bullshit, man! It's bullshit!

The deal is off.

- What?

- Yeah, the f***ing deal is off.

- Are you sure?

- Yeah.

'Cause nobody here is gonna pay you

$50,000 for that hog, okay?

I was just doing you a favor

because of my dad!

Yeah. I don't need your damn money.

And I don't need any favors

from a cock-ass like you.

Why don't you go f*** yourself?

No, no, f*** you, then!

- Go f*** yourself!

- Why don't you f*** yourself?

- Go f*** yourself!

- F*** yourself!

- F*** yourself!

- F*** you!

You don't f***ing know sh*t

about raising pigs.

Don't know sh*t.

Your father would be damn ashamed of you.

F***ing sh*t!

Come on, boy.

F*** it. F***!

Another gringo, I see.

I'd offer you a smoke,

but all I got is this thing.

It's okay.

It works.

- That yours?

- Yep.

- You're a farmer?

- Hog farmer.

I'm a physicist. I build clean rooms.

Put one together here for a factory.

Clean room?

Yeah. A room with minimal dust,

microbes, aerosol...

You know, all the stuff that's everywhere.

You want a beer?

Brought my own.

You gonna be sticking around a while?

I'm here for another 21 days.

Lucky you.

I don't know.

That's a big one.

I'm through.

I'm...

Imagine spending all of your life

in a little four-by-six-foot pen,

and not even get...

Being able to see the sun.

That's our life.

Getting fatter in a bigger pen,

and dying a little later.

You have to be honest with me, all right?

Why didn't you tell me you lost the farm?

I don't wanna be a burden.

Come, stay with us for a while.

We'll try to figure all of this out.

I just... Wanna just

get things straight, okay?

How long have you been living like that?

Why didn't you tell me about it?

Why do you keep lying to me?

I don't wanna hurt you.

Payo told me about your little trip.

What? What did that prick tell you?

He told me you're going crazy.

I'm okay! I'm okay!

I want you to be okay.

I want everybody to be okay.

I want you to stop drinking.

- All right. I don't...

- Dad...

Dad, there's no way you can

drive yourself back like that, okay?

Just wait for me in San Miguel,

and we will drive back together,

all right? Dad...

Hey! I'll give you twenty for your hog.

Twenty for the pig.

- How much for your cow?

- Fourteen thousand.

Fourteen thousand pesos

for this mangy old cow?

No, kid, I'll give you ten.

My uncle says 14.

Tell your uncle it's going to die.

There you go.

Get your hide all soft.

How much for the hog?

Come again?

How much for the pig?

50,000.

50,000 pesos?

Dollars. American dollars.

Never mind him, Howard.

He doesn't know sh*t from Shinola.

Moron.

F***ing old moron.

Howard!

Boy.

Sh*t.

Get away.

You didn't even try your food, Howard.

Hey, bless you.

Come on, boy.

Come on, it's all right, boy.

It's all right. It's all right.

Sh*t, it's that rain and all that damn...

That damn farm!

I'm sorry, Howie. I'm sorry. Come on, boy.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, pig. Come on.

Okay.

My friend is sick. I just...

Nice talking to you.

Come on. Come on.

Just a minute.

Howard, not here, boy.

Sh*t.

Come on.

I may not have a vet degree,

but I got your back.

I've done this plenty of times.

Plenty of times.

Good.

Okay, Howie.

You may see some weird stuff,

but don't be afraid. All right?

Here you go.

Okay. All right, just relax. Just breathe.

Howard... Yeah, like that.

Okay. Okay, boy. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

There you go.

Dad?

Dad, it's me, Eunice. Open up.

Dad, it's me, Eunice. Open up.

Door's open.

What the hell?

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