Mr. Pig Page #4

Look here, Eunice, Howard can't

go back into the States, okay?

It's a disease control thing.

They'll stop him at the border, okay?

We need to find him a good home here

and hopefully get paid.

No.

Okay, okay. All right.

You want to go back, okay, I understand.

I'll take you to the airport.

You know, I signed up

for a bunch of credit cards.

I've been withdrawing all the cash.

It's yours. You take it. Here.

No, I don't need money.

Well, you're gonna need it

a lot more than I do.

It's a lot cheaper being dead

than being alive.

Dad, don't say that. Come on.

Okay, okay, okay.

Think of it as all the child support

payments I missed, okay?

I don't need money, all right?

It's not the money.

Lookit. Let's go to Guadalajara.

It's a big city.

There's a better chance

to sell him there, okay?

After that, we'll go back. Promise.

Okay?

Okay. Okay.

Let's go find you a home, Howard.

We're going to Guadalajara.

We have to stay here.

It's a safe place for Howard.

- This place?

- Yeah.

Stop.

Here?

Welcome.

Hello? We'd like a room, please.

Yes. 105 is free, go to the left.

- Thank you.

- Welcome to the Caesars.

See? There, 105.

Yeah, you know

your way around, Dad? Really?

A little bit.

- All right, Howard. All right, buddy.

- Home sweet home.

- This it?

- Yeah.

I'm gonna take a shower.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Okay, let me help you.

No, no. Over my dead body.

My mama was

the first and last woman to bathe me.

Wait, you gotta leave that in.

It's gonna be real quick.

Ten minutes, tops.

All right.

I miss you, too.

But I'm down here with

your grandpa for a little while.

What? I don't know.

I don't know. But I love you. Okay?

Put Daddy back on, all right?

Hi.

God. Wait...

What? No.

I don't know. I just... I feel like it...

God! I'm sorry. No. God, not you.

It's the middle of the school year,

you know, you should stay with Lucas.

Yeah. I gotta do this by myself.

Uno club sandwich.

Si, club sandwich.

Man. Ambrose,

you gotta take a look at this.

It's like Jerry Springer on crack.

Really?

F***.

Apparently, we're not that bad.

That guy right there

is in love with his daughter.

Put it on speaker phone for me.

- Here.

- All right.

- Hello?

- Hello.

This is Chila, a dear friend.

She was my interpreter

on my first trip here.

Nice to meet you, Chila.

Hello, I was telling Ambrose

that some old friends and me,

we've decided to chip in and buy Howard.

No way, really? That's great!

They're just doing that because

they're feeling sorry for me,

because I'm dying and all that.

You know, whatever.

It's fine to me.

Shut up, or the deal is off, Ambrose.

Chila, how far away are we

from you right now?

About four hours by car,

and then half an hour by boat.

By boat? Really?

Howard's not gonna like that.

Don't worry, we will send for you both.

Just get to Boca de Tomatlan,

and we'll take care of it from there.

Ermilo will be waiting,

and I can ask Brianda...

Okay. Okay. Chila, I know. I know.

Okay. Goodbye.

Okay, see you tomorrow. Okay.

Drive safe, bye!

- So we'll go first thing in the morning.

- Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Good.

Don't forget to call Lucas, okay?

I did when we got here.

But thank you, Dad. That's...

Okay.

Tell him Grandpa said hello, next time.

I'll do that.

This beach we're headed to, it's nice?

You gonna love it.

Best place on the whole planet.

Playa Majahuitas.

I used to go there every year,

to the hog fair.

Just as an excuse

to spend some time there.

Great food, the nicest people.

I can't believe

this is only the second night I've spent

in the same room as my father.

What are you talking about?

Your mom and I slept with you

till you were five years old.

Really?

Yeah.

You were afraid of the shark in Jaws.

Cursed the day we let you watch the movie.

You used to crawl in our bed

in the middle of the night

and claim that you could hear

the sea getting closer and closer.

Yeah.

Good night.

Good night.

I think it's funny

that all your memories of me

are from when I was five.

That's not true.

Gonna be fine, Howard.

Yeah.

No need to worry about the future

'cause the future already happened.

I'm already dead.

The universe is already dead.

It's just our perception.

Keeps us stuck in slow motion.

Meanwhile...

It's just our perception.

Good night.

Good night, boy.

For a second I didn't know

who I was or where I was.

Well, you're my dad,

and we are in Guadalajara.

Yeah.

You know,

I would die for a cigarette right now.

Interesting choice of words.

Look over there.

I think I got a pack over there.

You're kidding me.

No, I'm not.

What, you're afraid I'm gonna get cancer?

Come on, Eunice. Look over there.

See if I got a cigarette.

This is unbelievable. You're unbelievable.

Yeah, you have one left.

One last cigarette.

Thank you.

Look at that.

- So long.

- Bye.

You hungry, too? Here you go. Howard.

Good boy.

Hey, Mexican junk food

is the Mona Lisa of junk food.

I'm sure Lucas would love this stuff.

Be sure to bring him some

when you go back home, okay?

Dad, have a seat.

You were in there for a while.

- Okay.

- All right? We gotta get you hooked up.

Hey! Hey!

Give me a beer, Dad.

Yeah.

Hey, wait, wait, wait.

You know, I used to think you kept that

picture because of the pig and not me.

What kind of person you think I am?

Why don't you tell me?

What, Eunice?

You want the two of us

to have one of those touching

father-daughter moments, like on TV?

Yeah. Okay. I do.

Why force this, Eunice?

I did what I did,

and nothing can change that,

so why bother?

You know,

everybody takes death so seriously.

Everyone feels the need to find

some meaning in every goddamn thing.

They all wanna have

some meaningful conversation.

Let me tell you something.

There's no meaning, Eunice.

I just want to know what you're feeling.

I can't cry,

if that's what you're getting at.

Look, I have feelings.

It's just that

they aren't nice right now.

I'd rather not share them.

Pull over.

What's the matter? What is it?

- You gonna be sick?

- Pull over.

- Oh, my God. Right here?

- Yeah, right here.

Dad, this isn't the best spot.

All right. All right.

It's all right.

It's the winding road. It's too much?

No.

- Too winding?

- No, no.

- Be careful. Be careful.

- All right.

- You sure you're good?

- I'm good.

No.

No, no, no, no.

It's the battery.

Sh*t.

I'm getting nothing.

How about...

- See, we got another battery here. Okay?

- No.

Let's get out of here.

You need that, Dad.

You need that for breathing.

Hold on.

Hey! Hey! Please!

Howard!

Howard!

Dad!

Boy!

- Come on.

- Come on, what are you doing?

Where are we going out here?

- I've gotta get there. Get the battery.

- Dad, we're gonna...

I can do without it. Hey, Howard.

- Howard's fine.

- Okay, I need some of that...

- Come on, let's get out of here. Okay?

- Please sit down.

- Go get the battery, okay?

- I will.

You need to sit. We'll get your tank back.

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