Mr. Smith Goes To Washington Page #16

SAUNDERS:

(hollowly)

Oh--a wonderful thing--yes. Get you

right in the mood--yes--yes.

Just then, the cab pulls over toward the curb and Saunders

perks up.

SAUNDERS:

Oh--and *here* we are, Senator! Well,

well, well! At last!

The cab stops and a uniformed doorman opens the cab door on

Jefferson's side.

Now we see the HOTEL CURB, THE CAB, THE FOOTMAN, and JEFF

looking out of the cab. Coming out of the hotel is a party

in evening dress--white mufflered, top-hatted man--and women

in furs.

SAUNDERS:

(impatiently)

After you. Do you mind?

Jeff stares at the party, at the footman--then up at the

fifteen-story hotel.

SAUNDERS:

(very impatiently)

This is *it*, Senator!

In the CAB:

JEFFERSON:

No, gee--I couldn't stay here--

SAUNDERS:

(amazed)

You *couldn't*?

JEFFERSON:

I mean--gosh--I wouldn't be

comfortable in a--I--I haven't got

clothes and things like that--and--I

couldn't keep pigeons *there*--No--I--

I just--just wouldn't be--

And he pulls the cab door closed.

DRIVER:

Where to, Mister?

JEFFERSON:

Where to, Miss Saunders?

SAUNDERS:

(at the end of her

patience)

Where? Why, the wide open spaces!

The scene dissolves to a PHONE BOOTH, with SAUNDERS

telephoning.

SAUNDERS:

(with emphasis)

--all I know is, he refused to go

into your hotel, Senator Paine--and

not having my lasso with me, I didn't

know how to *make* him.

In PAINE'S HOTEL APARTMENT, Paine is on the phone, with McGann

in the background.

PAINE:

What did you do? Where did he go?

In the PHONE BOOTH:

SAUNDERS:

Well--finally--after a substantial

tour of the city, he saw a sort of

boarding house, built nice and close

to the ground. That's what he wanted--

and that's where you're to send his

bags--Eleven B Street, Northeast. Oh--

and don't forget the pigeons!

In PAINE'S HOTEL APARTMENT:

PAINE:

And that's where you *left* him?

In the PHONE BOOTH:

SAUNDERS:

(with weary sarcasm)

...Oh, he's perfectly all right.

Going to stay in and write to Ma

tonight... Ma. Ma. Don't you know

Ma? And then he'll take his swig of

Castoria and go to sleep... I'd rather

not think about the morning right

now, if you don't mind. Goodnight,

Senator!

(She hangs up)

In PAINE'S HOTEL APARTMENT, Paine hangs up the phone.

PAINE:

Eleven B Street, Northeast. Take his

bags and your own right over--and

get yourself a room in the same place--

MCGANN:

Listen, Joe--at least--after a day

like this--I got one good bust coming

before I start showing him monuments--

He is interrupted by Susan, who comes dashing in excitedly,

all dressed to go out.

SUSAN:

For heaven's sake--will someone please

get those pigeons out of this

apartment! They're smelling up the

place something--

MCGANN:

Pigeons!

The scene dissolves to a RESTAURANT BAR, with Saunders and

Diz hopped up on stools. Saunders is grimly and angrily

holding forth.

SAUNDERS:

I'm still asking myself--what is he--

animal, vegetable, or mineral? A

Senator! A United States Senator! I

thought I'd seen everything but--

why, he doesn't know what time it

is, Diz! When I think of myself

sitting around--playing straight for

all that phoney, patriotic chatter--

*me*, carrying bibs for an infant

with little flags in his fists--no,

I can't take it, Diz--I'm through--I

quit!

DIZ:

Sure--sure--wait a minute now--simmer

down--

NOSEY, at this point, saunters up to the bar, his back to

Saunders.

SAUNDERS:

(breaking out again)

Why--do you know what he's going to

do before taking that Senate seat

tomorrow? He's going to Mount Vernon--

to get into the mood--a *warm up*!

Nosey swings around in a flash and pushes his face right in.

NOSEY:

Who? Who? Your boss! A nut, huh? A

nut! Wow! There's a *story* in this

guy--! I smelled it!

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