Mr. Smith Goes To Washington Page #34

SUSAN:

You're not going to take your *suit*

off!

JEFFERSON:

(alarmed)

No! No! Gosh. See, there you are!

I'm not making sense!

The scene dissolves to the LIVING ROOM OF DIZ'S APARTMENT,

at dinner time. Diz is mixing a drink. Saunders, her hat on

as though she hasn't been there long, is restless.

DIZ:

Well--I stuck my foot in it again at

the President's press conference

today--

(Casually)

How come so early? Get the day off?

SAUNDERS:

They decoyed the little General off

to a tea party to keep him out of

the Senate.

DIZ:

Well, well--

(Then--picking up)

Yeah--I got smart and thought I'd

slip one over on the old man in the

press meeting. I said, "Mr. President,

about the monopoly investigation--"

And he jumps right in and says, "Diz,

if you were sitting in my chair,

would you answer the question you're

about to ask?" He had me.

SAUNDERS:

(paying no attention)

I don't mind *who* gets licked in a

*fair* fight, Diz. It's these clouts

below the belt I can't take. Sicking

that horrible dame on him--when he's

goofy about her--

DIZ:

What dame?

SAUNDERS:

Paine.

DIZ:

Oh--yeah--

SAUNDERS:

He isn't going to hurt enough as it

is. *She* has to twist a knife in

him, too--the regal jackass! "I'll

turn my glamour on him," she says--

DIZ:

Forget it, kid. What's it *to* you?

SAUNDERS:

Nothing. I'm just saying--I might be

able to lie, cheat, steal--and I'd

still tear into a guy I saw kicking

a dog. Not that *he* is, by a long

shot--

DIZ:

Okay. So what? Stop worrying. I've

told you--the dopes are gonna inherit

the earth anyway--

SAUNDERS:

I've wondered, Diz--maybe this Don

Quixote's got the jump on all of us.

I've wondered--maybe it's a curse to

go through life wised up like you

and me--

DIZ:

Now, look, kid--if we're gonna wonder,

let's go down and do it over a hunk

of steak.

(Handing her a drink)

Come on, snap out of it. Diz Moore--

that rarest of companions--is here

at your side.

(Lifting his glass)

To genteel crime, kid.

SAUNDERS:

(lifting hers)

And to Don Quixote!

The scene dissolves to a RESTAURANT at night, with SAUNDERS

AND DIZ at a corner table--drinks in front of them--both

feeling pretty high and loose-tongued. Saunders is alternating

lightness with grimness. (Music from someplace off). Diz is

finishing a story.

DIZ:

--and the guy sees a drunk, lookin'

around under the street lamp, see--

and he says--whatsa matter?--lose

somethin'? Yeah--my cigarette case--

dropped it in the next block.

(Pointing way over)

Next block!--the guy says to the

drunk--whaddaya lookin' for it here

for?... 'Cause there's more light

here, the drunk says--

They laugh.

SAUNDERS:

Why do I always laugh at that?

DIZ:

"There's more light here," he says--

SAUNDERS:

Drunks are funny--

DIZ:

Yeah. Funny--

SAUNDERS:

(reflectively--sober

suddenly)

Yeah.

DIZ:

Yeah. Some of my best friends are

funny.

SAUNDERS:

Every time I think of it, I get a

laugh, Diz.

DIZ:

My friends?

SAUNDERS:

Old Don Quixote--man of the people

Smith--

DIZ:

(calling)

Waiter!

SAUNDERS:

--followin' Miss Susan Fass-Pass

around--his little heart poundin'

away--the sound of angels' wings in

his ears.

The waiter comes over.

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