Mrs. Winterbourne Page #2

- What?

- How're you feeling?

- You guys got this all screwed up!

Wouldn't be a first.

Remember the accident?

I was in a train wreck!

Who'd forget a train wreck?

- How long have I been here?

- About eight days.

Holy crap!

Where's here?

You're at St. Declan Hospital

in Stamford, Connecticut.

There was another pregnant

lady on the train.

Did you know her?

Did? Oh, Jesus, God!

- Is she dead?!

- Mrs. Winterbourne...

Will you please stop calling me that!

What's that? What the hell is this?!

Nothing. Something to relax you.

I don't need to relax!

I need to straighten this...

Wait. Where're you going with him?

Listen to me. I'm not...

That feels nice.

- Would you like onion rings with that?

- Yes.

Did Dr. Hopley say we could walk?

There's something important

I must tell you.

Are we gonna have a bad day?

I thought we'd have a good day.

We'll be good. It'll be good.

I sounded hysterical before,

so you didn't wanna listen to me.

I'm gonna be real calm...

when I tell you there's been

one major screw-up!

- Is that so?

- Yes, it's so!

Look, I gotta talk to Hugh!

Oh, no! Not him too!

Oh, God, no! No!

Found this card in her purse.

Connie Doyle?

- No, I'm sorry. I never heard of her.

- How'd she get your card?

I give those to every chick I meet.

You should try it.

- I'll remember that.

- Sorry I couldn't help you out.

It feels good to be here tonight!

Yeah, 39 million people watching me!

It feels real good to be here!

Connie's dead.

- Who's Connie?

- The b*tch who hollered at the window.

Example of Dianetics!

- Dead?

- Yeah.

She was gonna have my baby.

Makes you think, doesn't it?

Dead, dead, dead!

There's something mysterious

about the secret squares!

That Bobcat Goldthwait is so funny!

I am every parent's dream!

Okay, cookie. We're going.

Whose telephone is that?

Is that your telephone,

Mrs. Winterbourne?

Is everything okay?

Is everything okay, Mrs. Winterbourne?

- Aren't you gonna answer?

- Is that it?

I thought it was a ringing in my ears!

- Hello?

- Hello? This is Mrs. Winterbourne.

- What?

- Hugh's mother. Patricia?

- I feel so awful about this.

- I know, we all do.

Yeah. No. Jesus, this is difficult.

I wanted to see you.

The doctors say I can't travel.

I'm surprised they don't chain you.

You don't have to talk now, dear.

You don't have any family here,

so consider our house...

That's nice, but...

I'm your mother-in-law.

Don't argue.

That's my grandson you've got there.

- Well...

- I've sent a car for you.

- No, no, you can't do that!

- ...be expecting you.

- Mrs. Winterbourne?

- No.

- That's what it says.

- Don't believe that.

Holy sh*t!

- What's this?

- This is a Rolls-Royce.

That's like the Cadillac

of automobiles, huh?

No, the Mercedes Benz

is the Cadillac of automobiles.

This is a Rolls-Royce.

Hey, look, I gotta explain something...

You don't explain to me.

I'm just Paco.

You explain to Mrs. Winterbourne.

Okay, Mrs. Winterbourne?

Do I look the way you expected me to?

Not really.

Hugh was always stuck on blonds.

You know, tall and sophisticated.

Yeah, he got tired of those.

So he never sent any pictures of me?

Hugh didn't like cameras.

You have to develop the film,

remember to pick it up.

Too much responsibility.

That's Hugh.

- Poor boy.

- Yeah.

Oh, my God!

- This is not right. Tell her...

- Hello, Patricia.

- Something terrible's happened.

- Yes, I know.

I know you had something

terrible happen...

but your terrible thing and mine

are two different things.

I understand. You lost a

husband and I lost a son.

You wanna hold...

My grandson.

It's been so long

since I've done this.

You're doing fine.

What did you name him?

- Cookie.

- Pardon?

I was just trying it out.

I haven't decided.

Have you thought of Hugh?

He looks just like him.

Okay. Sure. Fine.

Hugh it is.

I miss him so much.

Mother?

Okay. That's enough.

- Good to see you.

- What's wrong?

- I just... I gotta go.

- I don't understand.

It was nice, really.

Didn't he tell you he had a twin?

Yes, but I didn't know

he was identical.

That must've been a shock.

I'm just still so confused

from that train wreck.

Of course. Anyone with a brain

would be sensitive to that.

Thank you, Mother. I'm Bill.

I wish we could've met under

pleasant circumstances.

- No, this is okay.

- I meant, before the accident.

Oh, right. Right, right, right.

Would you like to hold your nephew?

He's a lovely child, Bill.

Luckily, he doesn't look like us.

Oh, Bill.

Come with me, Patricia.

I'll never get away with this.

Oh, Mother Winterbourne. Hello.

That's what I first called my

mother-in-law. She seemed so cold.

What'd you end up calling her?

Mother Winterbourne. She was cold.

I had these made

when Hugh said you were coming.

Old pictures of the boys to torment

you with during our visit.

They're cute.

Hugh was very embarrassed

by this one of him naked.

Except for the cowboy hat.

You're only in college once,

I suppose.

Well.

I cannot cry anymore.

- Call me Grace.

- Grace.

Yes.

He's so adorable.

Well.

Thank you for keeping this one safe.

Thank you.

Can Mommy go to prison for this?

Can you say 5-to-10?

Where'd he find her?

Where'd they meet?

- What do you mean?

- Well, she's hardly in his...

- Class.

- Frankly, yes.

The water, Mother.

Admit it, there's a bit

of white trash on the edges.

How'd I ever raise such a snob?

It's a mystery, Mother.

Let's ask the servants.

I demand that you at least

give her a chance.

I'm sorry.

Does it sound like I prejudged her?

"White trash"? No, no.

- Is that a derogatory term?

- I'm serious, Bill.

Maybe she's a wonderful,

down-to-earth all-American girl.

But what do we know? Nothing!

Except that Hugh brought her,

expecting us to welcome her...

with open arms.

If he wasn't dead,

you'd be screaming at him.

You can be insensitive sometimes.

Sometimes?

I must be slipping.

You know what you need?

"You Are Here" maps.

They're all waiting for you.

What do you mean, "all"?

Who's all waiting?

Just family. Mrs. Winterbourne,

Bill and the Father.

I'm dying to meet him.

He never stopped talking about him.

Father Brian is the Monsignor.

Hugh's father died.

Right.

That's when she got sick.

The husband, then Hugh. Too much.

Sorry I was late.

I got lost.

I've been coming here for years,

and I still get lost.

- This is Father Brian Kirrane.

- How's it going?

- Pleased to meet you.

- It's a pleasure.

Hugh spoke of you often,

and with affection.

Oh, that's so touching.

I haven't seen him

since his first communion.

Oh, well, it made a big impression.

He was a fine man.

He'll be missed.

Thank you.

And thank you for so generously

welcoming me here.

Hey! What's with the hands?

May I take the baby?

He stays here! He'll bawl his head off

if my tits aren't handy.

Sorry, Father. Breasts.

No, "tits" is fine. Isn't it, Father?

Oh, yes. "Tits." "Tits" is fine.

Fine.

When Bill and Hugh were small...

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