Mrs Miracle Page #2

Well, sorry to disappoint you.

You're really not seeing anyone at all?

God, you know,

that makes it sound so much better.

Well, it iust doesn't make any sense to me.

l mean, come on, you're smart,

and you're gorgeous, and you're talented.

Your Maria in The Sound of Music

made everyone say, ''Julie who?''

And now you run your own business.

Okay, if you say that l have

a good personality, l'm going to deck you.

Well, you do.

-l'm gonna go get some milk.

-Me, too.

Yes, absolutely.

l could probably get some concepts

drawn up for you by the middle of the week,

but considering the...

-Let me pour.

-No, l can do it.

-Let me pour!

-l can do it!

-Guys, guys!

-l can do it!

l'm sorry.

Can you hold on just one second?

All right.

Go to your room.

l'll call you when dinner's ready.

Sorry about that.

Hey, look!

Not bad, fellas. Nice size, yeah.

Good and solid, and packed tight,

but not too heavy.

-Missed us! You can't get us!

-Missed us! You can't get us!

-Yeah?

-Missed us!

Don't mess with the big dog.

Get the door! Get the door!

Mr. Webster?

-Yes.

-l'm Emily Merkle. Nice to see you.

How you doing, huh? l like that shirt.

That's a good color for you. Yeah.

Wait a minute. You got something there.

What is that?

ls that a little gravy?

Yeah.

-Probably'll come right off with some seltzer.

-Okay.

lt's cold out here. Oh, boy. Yeah.

Let me back up here for a minute.

The agency sent me, okay?

-The agency?

-Yeah.

The employment agency?

You know, big building downtown.

Lots of people. Everyone trying to get a iob.

l mean, l'm talking grim.

Okay, great! l'm sorry, you iust...

You weren't what l expected.

Yeah, l get that a lot. But you know what?

You'll get used to it.

No, Mrs. Ackerman didn't even tell me

she'd found somebody.

Well, it's more fun this way.

You see, then l can pop in and go,

''Surprise!''

Keep your pants on, honey.

l'm just kidding.

Oh, my goodness! You've been robbed!

What?

No, no, this is...

No, no, l'm iust kidding again.

It's just a mess, right?

l mean, sometimes l kid,

but seriously, this is really a mess.

l was iust talking with the boys

how we needed to keep things...

Hi, fellas! Well, what you two been up to?

Guys, come say hi.

It's all right. This is Mrs...

-Merkle.

-Mrs. Merkle.

You're twins, right?

-Yeah.

-We're paternal.

He means fraternal.

Don't say a word. Don't tell me a word.

You are Judd and Jason.

How'd you know?

lt's easy. It was written on your foreheads.

Now tell me something. Are you two

responsible for most of this mess?

Well, good for you.

Because if you're going to trash this place,

you might as well do it right.

What do l smell?

Listen, l apologize for the mess. It's not...

See, l knew it was gravy,

but seriously, is somebody boiling lard?

We're cooking dinner.

Shoot. What am l going to do

about this dinner l have here?

You have dinner?

That smells good.

lt's a very special recipe.

l wouldn't want to twist your arm.

Really good.

Now you're sure?

Okay, Mr. Webster, you're out of here.

Go, l don't know, read a newspaper,

or call EPA,

or whatever it is you normally do

as an architect.

Meanwhile, l'm going to clean up

this place in a jiffy. Come on, boys, help me.

Come on.

Okay.

Boys, wait a minute.

l've got to ask you something.

Now are there any marbles in the house?

Yeah.

Okay. Now you go find them,

and bring them to me,

and bring me all the Play-Doh you can,

and some liquid soap,

and a box of baking soda, okay?

-But why do you need those...

-No, no. No questions, understand?

Okay, go get them.

Well, that ought to keep them busy

for a while.

You ain't seen nothing yet, honey.

This is so cool, Dad.

l'll say.

What do they call this dessert?

Angel food cake.

Angels eat cake?

When it tastes like this, they do.

Well, l'll take that as a compliment.

Here's a question for you.

Who can clear off this table the fastest?

Okay, l'll begin a count.

One, two, three, four, five.

l'll get it, honey. Thanks.

That's a good job. Thank you.

Nicely done.

What, did you buy a ticket to this show?

Thanks.

-Good night, Dad! Good night!

-Good night, Dad! Good night!

Good night, guys!

-You guys all set?

-Did you see how we cleaned up?

Yeah, you did a great iob.

But then Mrs. Miracle made us take a bath.

Mrs. Merkle, you mean.

That's what he said, Mrs. Miracle.

And you know what else?

Mrs. Miracle said we have to brush our teeth

before she'll read to us.

Well, that sounds about right to me.

-But, Dad!

-But, Dad!

But what? No buts, all right?

You guys listen to Mrs. Merkle. Okay?

-Okay, you two, come on. Scoot, scoot.

-All right, time for bed.

-Love you.

-Love you, too.

-Love you, buddy.

-Love you, too.

Okay.

Man.

You know,

l hardly ever read to them anymore.

And when l do, l fall asleep.

Come on, don't be hard on yourself.

You've had your hands full.

Yeah, l guess.

You know what you might need?

A little time for yourself.

What is that? l don't even think about that.

Of course you don't.

You know, l'm sorry.

l didn't even show you to your room.

No, it's all right. The boys settled me in.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

Okay. Well, then,

l guess we should probably talk

about references, and schedules,

and all that stuff.

Mrs. Miracle! Come on! We're waiting!

My audience awaits.

l guess we can talk

about it another time then.

Okay. Here l come!

Mrs. Miracle!

You're supposed to sit over here.

-You sit here next to me!

-No! l called dibs first!

-She should sit over here on my bed!

-Okay, then l get to pick the story.

Settle down, boys.

We'll find one you both like.

Mrs. Miracle.

Actually, well, we are on schedule.

There is a new schedule that came out after

with the revised plans

that accounted for the new additions

that you requested.

Hi. Yeah, this is Seth Webster

calling for Mrs. Ackerman again.

She's not in.

Okay, do you know when she'll be back?

Boys, come on.

Hold my hand.

No, it's not urgent. l iust wanted to check in

with her about our new housekeeper.

Okay, thanks.

That was wonderful, children!

Now as you know,

today we have auditions

for the speaking parts in this year's pageant.

We have a number of roles to fill.

There are shepherds, and reindeer,

and angels, so don't worry.

You'll each have your moment

in the spotlight.

And remember,

when it's your turn to audition,

l want you to give it everything you've got.

Let them hear you in the back row,

and remember, say it with feeling!

Really put your heart into it!

And the angel said unto him, ''Fear not!

''For behold,

l bring you good tidings of great joy!''

ls she okay?

-She looks okay.

-She's breathing.

Help! Help! She's fallen!

l think she's moving.

-You've got to be kidding me.

-No, l'm serious.

The school needs someone to come in

and take over the pageant right now.

So naturally you thought of me?

Well, who else? l mean, you've been

doing theater since we were kids,

acting and directing, and...

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