Much Ado About Nothing Page #7

---

if silent, why, a block moved with none.

So turns she every man the wrong side out.

Sure, sure, such carping is not commendable.

No, not to be so odd and from all fashions

as Beatrice is,

cannot be commendable.

But who dare tell her so? If I should speak,

she would mock me into air.

She would laugh me

out of myself, press me to death with wit.

Therefore let Benedick, like cover'd fire,

Consume away in sighs, waste inwardly:

It were a better death than die with mocks,

which is as bad as die with tickling.

Yet tell her of it.

Hear what she will say.

No, rather I will go to Benedick,

and counsel him to fight

against his passion.

And, truly, I'll devise some honest slanders

to stain my cousin with.

One doth not know

how much an ill word may empoison liking.

Do not do your cousin

such a wrong.

She cannot be so much without

true judgment, having so swift and excellent wit,

as she is prized to have, as to refuse

so rare a gentleman as Signior Benedick.

- Indeed, he hath an excellent good name.

- His excellence did earn it, ere he had it.

- When are you married, madam?

- Why, every day. Tomorrow!

Come, go in:
I'll show thee some attires,

and have thy counsel

which is the best to furnish me tomorrow.

She's limed, I warrant you.

We've caught her, madam.

If it proves so,

then loving goes by haps.

Some Cupid kills with arrows,

some with traps.

What?

Fire is in mine ears?

Can this be true?

Stand I condemned

for pride and scorn so much?

Contempt, farewell!

And maiden pride, adieu!

No glory lives behind the back of such.

And, Benedick...

Love on!

I will requite thee,

taming my wild heart

to thy loving hand.

If thou dost love,

my kindness shall incite thee

to bind our loves up in a holy band.

For others say thou dost deserve,

and I believe it

better than reportingly!

Are you good men and true?

Yea, or else it were pity but they

should suffer salvation, body and soul.

Nay, that were a punishment

too good for them,

if they should have any allegiance in them,

being chosen for the prince's watch.

Well, give them their charge,

neighbour Dogberry.

First, who think you the most

desertless man to be constable?

George Seacole; for they

can write and read.

Come hither, neighbour Seacole.

Seacole. God hath blessed

you with a good name.

to be a well-favoured man is

the gift of fortune,

but to write and read the language

comes by nature.

You have:
I knew it

would be your answer.

Well, for your favour, sir,

why, give God thanks,

and make no boast of it;

and for your writing and reading,

let that appear when

there is no need for such vanity.

You are thought here to be

the most fit and...

...senseless man for the constable

of the watch,

therefore bear you the lantern.

There you go, congratulations,

welcome aboard.

This is your charge:

you are to comprehend all vagrom men,

you are to bid any man stand,

in the prince's name.

How if he will not stand?

Why, then take no note of him

but let him go.

and presently call the

rest of the watch together,

and thank God you are rid of a knave.

If he will not stand when he is bidden,

he is none of the prince's subjects.

True. And they are to meddle

with none but the prince's subjects.

You shall also make no noise

in the streets.

For the watch to babble and to talk

is most tolerable and not to be endured.

We will rather sleep than talk.

We know what

belongs to a watch.

You speak like an ancient

and a most quiet watchman,

for I cannot see how sleeping

should offend.

Only, have a care

that your bills be not stolen.

Well, you are to call at all the

ale-houses,

and bid those that are drunk

get them to bed.

How if they will not?

Why, then, let them alone

till they are sober.

If they make you not

then the better answer,

you may say they are not the men

you took them for.

Well, sir.

If you meet a thief,

you may suspect him,

by virtue of your office,

to be no true man.

And for such kind of men,

the less you meddle or make with them,

why, the more is for your honesty.

If we know him to be a thief,

shall we not lay hands on him?

Truly, by your office, you may.

But I think they

that touch pitch will be defiled:

the most peaceable

way for you, if you do take a thief,

is to let him show himself what he is

and steal out of your company.

You have been always called

a merciful man, partner.

Truly, I would not

hang a dog by my will,

much more a man

who hath any honesty in him.

'Tis very true.

This is the end of the charge.

You, constable, are to present

the prince's own person.

If you meet the prince in the night,

you may stay him.

Nay, by'r our lady,

that I think a' cannot.

Five shillings to one on't,

with any man that knows

the statutes, he may stay him.

Marry, not without

the prince be willing,

for, indeed, the watch ought

to offend no man,

and it is an offence to stay a

man against his will.

By'r lady, I think it be so.

Well, masters, good night.

And, there be any matter

of weight chances, call up me.

Keep your fellows' counsels

and your own; and good night.

- Good night!

- Good night. Over.

Come, neighbor!

Well, constable,

we hear our charge.

Let us sit here till two,

and then to bed.

One word more, honest neighbors.

Over.

Over!

I pray you,

keep a watch about town,

for the wedding being tomorrow,

there is a great coil tonight.

Adieu.

Be vigitant, I beseech you.

I do but stay till your marriage be consummate,

and then go I toward Arragon.

I'll bring you thither, my lord,

if you'll vouchsafe me.

Nay, that would be as great a soil

in the gloss of your new marriage

as to show a child his new coat

and forbid him to wear it.

No, I will only be bold

with Benedick for his company,

for, from the crown

of his head to the sole of his foot...

...he is all mirth.

He hath a heart as sound as a bell

and his tongue is the clapper,

for what his heart thinks his

tongue speaks.

Gallants, I am not as I have been.

So say I. Methinks you are sadder.

I hope he be in love!

There's no true drop of blood in him,

to be truly touched with love:

if he be sad, he wants money.

I...

...have the toothache.

- Draw it!

- Hang it!

- You must hang it first, and draw it afterwards.

What! sigh for the toothache?

Well, every one can master a grief

but he that has it.

Yet say I, he is in love.

- Hath any man seen him at the barber's?

- No, but the barber's man hath been seen with him.

Indeed, he looks younger than he did,

by the loss of a beard.

And when was he wont

to wash his face?

Yea, or to paint himself? for the which,

I hear what they say of him.

Indeed, that tells a heavy tale for him:

conclude he is in love.

Nay, but I know who loves him.

That would I know too: I warrant,

one that knows him not.

Yes, and his ill conditions; and,

in despite of all, dies for him.

She shall be buried

with her face upwards.

Yet is this no charm

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes