Muck Page #5

- Where are your shoes?

- That's your question?

After all this,

her f***ing shoes?

Hi. I'm Chandi.

Noah. I'm troit's cousin.

- I've heard a lot about you.

- Really?

Hey, why don't you guys

run and get a coffee?

While you're at it, get me

a triple latte and a f***ing shotgun.

While you two stay out here

and get better acquainted,

I'm gonna go inside

and find something to kill things with.

Jesus!

Sorry about that.

We should probably go help him.

- Troit, what were you doing?

- Pissing.

Troit, how can you piss

at a time like this?

Holy f***.

I guess you can't call this

a living room anymore.

Yeah, we should

just burn this place.

Find me a match.

Hey, put that down.

Oh, come on.

Don't look at me like

I'm some kind of shitty vampire.

There wasn't any...

much blood in the whiskey.

There are no words for you.

- I don't need you drunk.

- I was drunk when you called me.

He actually holds his liquor

quite well.

Respect.

You see that?

- Jesus.

- Oh, f***. Mia.

Holy sh*t. You okay?

It's not just the marsh.

There's something else out there.

- People.

- Mia, what are you talking about?

- They don't like the marsh.

- Mia, what are you talking about?

They don't go into the marsh.

- They don't like the marsh.

- Mia, you're not making any sense.

- I think they're afraid of the marsh.

- Where's Billy?

Where's Billy? Mia?

Mia, where's... where's Billy, Mia?

Come on, Noah.

You know where Billy is.

- Or isn't.

- F***.

What... what are we gonna do?

We're not safe in here.

We're not safe out there.

- They're gonna kill us.

- Mia, they're not gonna kill us, okay?

Listen to me.

We're going to get out of here, okay?

We're gonna to make it out of this.

What? Sh*t's bad enough, dude,

don't f***ing jinx us.

Jinx us?

- Troit.

- No, there's f***ing crazy

albino rapists

running around outside.

There's something else in the marsh

which is apparently worse.

And we're stuck in this bloody house.

Literally bloody

with no phone, no weapons.

And you know damn well

that as soon as you say,

"everything's fine,"

we're f***ed.

All right, we're f***ed.

Hey, troit, you're right.

We're f***ed.

Do you feel better?

- Surprisingly, yeah.

- Not helping.

Seriously,

do you have any sort of plan?

We should start by...

Troit!

Sh*t! don't let the beast in the door!

They're coming for me!

I wouldn't. Ah!

- I killed one.

- Just lock the front door, all right?

The f***ing window is smashed.

Well, it's not gonna hurt

to lock the front door.

Sh*t.

I don't want to die.

I know they're coming after me.

It's broken.

What the f*** did these people

cut their steak with?

Do something!

- We are doing something.

- Do something else!

I don't want to die.

What the f***?

Stop it.

- What?

- Get us out of here.

Son of a b*tch.

Troit!

Don't worry about the dude

in the basement.

We're super... f***ed.

- No! Troit!

- Let it go.

Shh. Get down.

Okay, who's the cowboy?

You're the cowboy, huh?

I f***ing hate you guys!

Which one of you fucks

flipped my car, huh?

God damn it.

Oh, no.

You do not go crushing hot chicks...

...With cars.

Especially not my hot chick...

...With my f***ing car.

You f***ing f***.

Sh*t.

I like this shovel.

I don't know what kind of hell

you go to, creeper,

but I'm going to f*** you in the head

with this shovel

until I send you there.

I know that.

End of the road, f***er.

F***ing mud.

F***ing noose.

You're gonna pay

for this shirt, creeper.

You can't just buy one either.

I had it made!

- Do you think it's gone?

- Yeah, I do.

Listen, you need to go

get some help.

I'm going to go around back

and get troit.

- No, no. I'm going with you.

- No. Listen to me.

- Just go and get...

- Don't leave me. don't leave me.

Shovel!

The next thing that creeps

or crawls even near me...

Shovel to the f***ing face.

- Eat your heart out, Barry bonds.

- Jesus.

What the f*** are you doing, man?

She's naked.

Don't worry.

She's not doing anything for me.

Sh*t.

Time to go.

Wait! What the... wait!

- Wait!

- Wait.

Troit, where do you think

you're going?

- The marsh.

- No, you haven't been in there.

Dude, it's our only chance.

Come on.

- What are we doing?

- We're doing it.

We're going to get killed in the marsh.

I'm not going back in there.

Yes, you are.

We all are because they won't.

Look, that was that chick's theory.

I'm going with it.

- We don't know that.

- Damn it, Noah. We don't have time...

- listen to me.

- No, you listen to me!

How many went into the marsh

in the first place?

- Seven.

- Seven. And how many came out?

- Five.

- Five.

So five of you went into that house

and you're all that's left?

- Yes, but...

- It's not hard math, Noah.

We've got better odds in the marsh

than we do with the creepers.

Okay, okay. I'm ready.

I was hoping for a better idea.

F***.

I hate it when he makes sense.

Sh*t.

Come on, man.

I don't know where the f*** we're going.

- Do I look like I have a f***ing map?

- You've at least been in here before.

Come on, lead the way.

Don't be such a p*ssy.

I'm gonna kill you.

I'll put your name on the list.

So I go and I call

on my best friends

So we can all laugh

one more time

And I'm looking at the photographs

of my brothers...

Here, let me help you.

Thanks.

Well, it's one last call

with my mother...

This marsh sucks.

Oh, they say it's over

Oh, they say it's over this time

Oh, they say it's over

Oh, they say it's over this time...

Come on, you guys.

And I'll go

and find me a mountain...

- Troit.

- Yeah.

What's my dog's name?

Uh, Australia.

It's a sheltie you've had

since you were 10.

You left it with your cousin,

Ramesh.

Lucky number, favorite color?

That's easy. 11.

Same as your birthday.

- Which is?

- November 11th, 1991.

And your favorite color is pink.

- What's mine?

- Trick question.

You don't have one because

you think favorite colors are stupid.

I assured them that my love

was real...

Wow, you guys

are getting good at that.

But we're f***ing lost

and this stupid marsh is getting deeper.

See, hon, we're like

a real married couple.

Aw.

Does that mean you're gonna f*** me

when we get outta here?

At least give you

really good head.

Oh, see, now this marsh

ain't so bad after all.

F*** off.

What? It doesn't mean I want to buy

a vacation home here,

but the trees are quite lovely.

Shut up.

Even in India, everyone's seen

"the Princess bride."

Oh, sh*t.

You can get DVDs in caves now.

- I haven't seen it.

- Oh, dude, you should totally get it.

I got it in college,

got me laid so many times.

- How's that?

- Did you woo freshmen sluts

with your Westley impression?

Or fight off R.O.U.S.S

in the cafeteria?

I thought you said

you haven't seen it.

Busted.

What a dick.

Look, all I know is

if I busted out a quote at a party,

some drunk chick would always

come up to me and be like,

"Oh, my god. I love that movie.

I haven't seen it in, like, forever."

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