Mumford Page #18

INT. COLLEGE APARTMENT - NIGHT

TIGHT ON A BONG filling with white smoke. We FOLLOW IT UP

THE TUBE to a PRETTY COED, who inhales deeply, then blows a

seductive cloud directly at Mumford. The room is full of

partying students.

MUMFORD (V.O.)

All the other kids, in fact, seemed

to know things I didn't. They were

friendly enough, but in four years,

I never got over feeling that I had

sneaked in... and was about to be

exposed as the hillbilly and imposter

I actually was.

INT. BEDROOM, STUDENT APARTMENT - NIGHT

Funky decor, red scarf over the lamp creating a sexy glow.

MUMFORD'S POV moves toward an undulating shape hidden by a

sheet on the bed. He reaches out and lifts the edge to REVEAL

the Pretty Coed, now naked, giggling, her extended hand

offering a tab of acid right up to camera.

MUMFORD (V.O.)

The thing that always made those

feelings go away was... fun. Fun was

drugs, fun was sex, fun was

aggressively doing nothing. The only

problem I had with degenerate, self-

destructive behavior was... I couldn't

get enough of it.

INT. UNIVERSITY CLASSROOM - DAY

A PROFESSOR approaches camera and lays a fresh examination

on the desk in front of Mumford. The problem is -- Mumford

is so doped up the classroom is swimming and the examination

paper keeps changing shape.

MUMFORD (V.O.)

All that fun eventually had an impact

on the work I was doing. I figured,

what the hell, it was only college,

after all. I'd straighten up when I

went out in the real world...

INT. OFFICE BUILDING CORRIDOR - NIGHT

TIGHT ON SEVERAL AMPHETAMINE CAPSULES being dumped into

Mumford's palm over a water fountain. They disappear toward

camera as we dip down toward the stream of water.

MUMFORD (V.O.)

I didn't want to jump into my career

right out of college. And since I

had no career, that turned out to be

not much of a problem...

MUMFORD'S POV lifts from the fountain and turns to the

endless, deserted corridor of the huge building. We begin

TRACKING DOWN the hall, checking out the various doorways. A

Cleaning Crew appears far up ahead.

MUMFORD (V.O.)

I had a series of challenging jobs

over the next few years...

EXT. ALLEY - DAY

We PAN from the back of a garbage truck to a mess of garbage

containers, and MOVE TOWARD THEM.

INT. GAS STATION - NIGHT

TIGHT ON TWO LINES of cocaine. We DIP TOWARD THEM, then UP

AGAIN and they're gone. PAN to REVEAL we're in a closet off

the brightly-lit office of an all-night gas station. A PATRON

is waiting impatiently out by the pumps.

EXT. SECOND FLOOR PORCH, THE DUPLEX HOUSE - NIGHT

BACK TO PRESENT. Skip watches Mumford intently.

MUMFORD:

...pizza delivery, pipe fitting,

pest control... lots of jobs that

started with the letter "p". For

some reason, I kept losing these

jobs.

(takes a swig of beer)

The only mind-altering substance I

never had a problem with was alcohol.

I never got drunk. I didn't like the

feeling. But really, when you're as

f***ed up as I was... big deal.

Mumford stands up and stretches, then sits on the railing

facing Skip.

MUMFORD:

Eventually, doing all these different

jobs, I noticed something. For some

reason, probably because I was too

stoned to talk, everywhere I went --

INT./EXT. SERIES OF SHOTS-- TALKING HEADS

We see various CO-WORKERS from Mumford's jobs. The

environments are radically different, but the activity is

always the same -- the Co-Worker in question is pouring his

heart out to camera.

MUMFORD (V.O.)

-- people would talk to me, tell me

everything... their stories, their

problems, their innermost thoughts.

Sometimes they'd pretend they needed

advice, but mostly people just wanted

someone to listen.

INT. CRAWLSPACE UNDER HOUSE - DAY

MUMFORD'S MOVING POV as he crawls into the darkness, an

insecticide sprayer ahead of him. He pushes at a cinderblock --

MUMFORD (V.O.)

Anyway, one day I was spraying for

termites when I had a vision --

The cinderblock tips over and a swarm of scary-looking spiders

comes rushing out toward camera.

MUMFORD (V.O.)

-- it was time to put my college

degree to work and get a job with a

desk.

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. GOVERNMENT OFFICES - DAY

FROM BEHIND A DESK in the middle of a huge sea of desks.

MUMFORD (V.O.)

I took the civil service exam and

found myself working at the Internal

Revenue Service, District 14, Central

Administrative Office. I started off

as a general records clerk...

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