Mumford Page #5

Mumford's head rocks slowly back for a moment as if he's

going to drift off. He snaps back to life and stares hard at

the top of Lionel's head, where there is a bald spot starting

to take hold. The sound of LIONEL'S VOICE begins to echo --

LIONEL:

...which is no problem for me, because

I remembered it was coming and I've

attended every class, so I'm totally

prepared. Then I see myself running

down the hall at school...

MUMFORD'S GLANCE FLASHPANS from Lionel's bald spot to the

gleaming letter opener.

Mumford closes his eyes. We CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY

A boy, unmistakably the Young Lionel, runs down the deserted

hallway toward a bright doorway. [LIONEL'S DREAM has a BLUE

TINT.]

LIONEL (V.O.)

...but it's not really my school --

and this is very interesting -- it's

the school from the next district --

MUMFORD (V.O.)

-- Go on!

INT. HIGH SCHOOL CLASSROOM - DAY

Young Lionel comes breathlessly in the classroom door and

stares alarmed.

LIONEL (V.O.)

And even though I arrive a little

bit early, everybody's already there.

But the surprising part is --

WHAT YOUNG LIONEL SEES: Everyone in the class, including the

Teacher in the front, is naked. The Teacher holds out an

exam toward Young Lionel.

LIONEL (V.O.)

-- I'm the only one who's prepared!

CUT TO:

INT. WAITING ROOM, MUMFORD'S OFFICE - DAY

ALTHEA BROCKETT, a woman in her forties, sits on the couch

reading a mail order catalogue for home furnishings. There

are several other catalogues sticking out of her jammed,

woven carry-all.

The door to Mumford's inner office opens with some force.

Mumford stands looking back across his office at Lionel, who

is getting up from the couch in some confusion.

LIONEL:

-- you crazy? You can't do this!

MUMFORD:

Sure I can, Lionel.

LIONEL:

I'm a criminal lawyer -- you think I

like my clients? I can't stand most

of them! But I don't kick them out...

MUMFORD:

See that sign -- We retain the right

to refuse service to anyone. I'm not

going to charge you for this session,

but I don't want to see you back

here.

Lionel looks around, but there is no such sign. He does spot

Althea watching the show from the couch.

LIONEL:

Don't you at least have a back door

I can use?

MUMFORD:

Come out this way. There's no shame

in getting a little therapy... is

there, Althea?

Althea stands up, smiling. She thinks Mumford is the bee's

knees.

ALTHEA:

Not at all. It takes guts, Lionel.

Lionel steams by them in a black mood.

LIONEL:

Maybe some of us don't need this

crap!

MUMFORD:

And it's the Hubble Telescope, not

the Himball Telescope.

Lionel bangs out the front door. Mumford motions Althea inside --

MUMFORD:

Jeez... what an a**hole.

Althea heads inside, giggling wildly. She can't get enough

of this guy.

INT. MUMFORD'S OFFICE -DAY

Althea is sobbing. Mumford hands her a new Kleenex from the

box next to the couch. She wads it with her current one and

tries to stop crying. Mumford settles back in his chair,

patient.

ALTHEA:

What do they want from me?

(more sobbing)

What have I done that's so wrong?

(pulling it together)

They act as though they don't have

their own peculiar things... They

do! Believe me. Everybody's got

something...

(looks at Mumford)

Even you probably have things.

MUMFORD:

Me more than most.

ALTHEA:

Why are they ganging up against me?

MUMFORD:

I'm not sure. But I think they're

worried about you.

ALTHEA:

It's the kids, you know, not Jeremy.

He had nothing to do with this --

except pay, of course. He's always

willing to pay. He's extremely

generous.

(a long beat)

I'm so humiliated that my own children

would threaten me.

MUMFORD:

How did they threaten you?

ALTHEA:

They said if I didn't get help, they

wouldn't deal with me any more.

(a beseeching look)

What do you think about that?

MUMFORD:

Good kids.

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