Murderland Page #25

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MATTHEW:

I got the real man's workout tonight

didn't I ?

(looks around)

Where did he go ?

Saundra spins around too.

SAUNDRA:

He was right behind me !

MATTHEW:

Who was that guy anyway ?

EXT. FIRST BANK, NEW YORK CITY - DAY

Business as usual. People come and go. Corporate America

at it's finest.

INT. PENTHOUSE SUITE, FIRST BANK - DAY

John C McCay enters from the private elevator. He goes

by the video viewing room. The T.V. is on.

He walks by, then backs up.

He goes in.

INT. VIDEO VIEWING ROOM, FIRST BANK - DAY

He sees the tape of last nights adventures in the park.

JOHN C. MCCAY

Zach, my boy ?

He sees the images from the prior night. He sees Bruce

and the others running through the Foosball Field.

JOHN C. MCCAY

Oh my this is better than we thought it

would be. I told you Ol' Bruce would be

the man if we put him in there !

BRUCE:

That's what I thought.

Bruce is there in the Police uniform. He punches John C.

McCay in the back of the head and then injects him with

a syringe.

FADE TO BLACK:

INT. MAIN STREET MURDERLAND

Fade in.

John C McCay hears the sound of the theme music over the

PA:

ANNOUNCER:

Welcome to Murderland ! And Here's

Scraps the official mascot for

Murderland.

Scraps takes his shots from the tommy gun.

John C. McCay runs his old fat ass toward the entrance

that says "FANTASY LAND". He barely dodges the bullets

as he makes it into the room.

INT. FANTASY LAND, MURDERLAND - DAY

The room is like a cartoon, a cartoon living room where

all the objects are ten times bigger than they should

be.

The walls are about 100 feet straight up and there is

blue/white wall paper up, also of enormous size. The

floor is like giant carpet with a blue shag and even an

Afghan on the blue, 30 foot tall couch. In front of the

couch is a twenty foot tall coffee table.

McCay runs forward towards the other side of the room,

the mouse hole is the exit. A Giant vacuum cleaner

begins to chase him. He ducks around a leg of the table.

The vacuum continues on past him.

JOHN C. MCCAY

Is this the best you can do, Bruce ?

INT. CONTROL ROOM, MURDERLAND - DAY

We see Bruce's silhouette in front of the moniter. His

hand works the controls silently. We can see McCay on

the monitors and a diagram of the room on another.

JOHN C. MCCAY

(from the moniter)

Did you think I didn't learn anything

from watching ALL those tapes ?

INT. FANTASY LAND, MURDERLAND - DAY

John C McCay is laughing a little and his breath is

labored. He sees the vacuum at the other side of the

enormous room turning back around.

JOHN C. MCCAY

Even I can out run this thing. He

starts to walk a little away from under

the table.

A giant IRON falls from on top of the huge table. As

McCay takes another step he gets crushed by the giant

clothing utensil.

The vacuum circles the table legs.

FADE TO BLACK:

INSERT :
TWO WEEKS LATER

INT. FIRST BANK, 44TH FLOOR - DAY

Saundra is at the water cooler, getting a drink. Matthew

walks up to her.

MATTHEW:

Hey good lookin' ! What'cha got cookin'

?

SAUNDRA:

Hey buddy. You okay ?

MATTHEW:

Of course I am. I feel the testosterone

coursing through my veins.

(pause)

Now that I've gotten the stitches

removed from my arm and the

chiropractor fixed my back.

He presses down on the water button and nothing happens.

He hits it and hurts his hand.

MATTHEW (CONT'D)

Ow. Son of a .....

(does a "I'm in pain dance")

Did I ever tell you my theory on Star

Wars as Porn ?

SAUNDRA:

No.

MATTHEW:

Well, I think if you take several lines

out of context, Star Wars becomes a

very sexual movie. I mean listen to

this.

(mocks ther characters)

"Luke, at that speed will you be able

to pull out in time ?" or "You came in

that thing ? You're braver than I

thought".

An executive in a $1,000 three piece suit walks up and

smoothly gets the cup full of water. He then turns to

face Saundra, and has his back to Matthew.

BRUCE:

Excuse me, son. You're not discussing a

sexual topic on company time here are

you ?

Matthew does not recognize or see him at all. As far as

he's concerned, he thinks it's another exec.

Saundra doesn't notice who it is at first, but does a

double take and her jaw goes to the floor as she sees

that it is Bruce.

MATTHEW:

(very nervous and not

recognizing Bruce)

No sir. I was just getting , well you

know. Water. We weren't talking about

sex or anything else except Star Wars.

Just saying hello. I think I'm gonna go

now.

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