My Best Friend Page #4

You were a smug little sh*t then.

And I see you still are.

C'mon. He's not your sort.

Schmuck!

- You waited?

- I smelled a rat.

Childhood friendships don't last.

Sit in the front.

Same old story.

You meet people. Get close to them.

Then they're gone.

Friendship's a myth.

Look who's talking.

You make friends with everyone.

Everybody's the same as nobody.

Believe me. We're always alone.

Monsieur Coste?

- Hello.

- Voil.

Fill in the amount you want. My friend.

I'm not selling.

I'm set on having that vase.

I'm set on keeping it. My friend.

- You don't understand. I'm offering...

- No. No. No.

You don't understand. I said no.

You really don't deserve it.

Aren't Sundays a drag?

Statistically.

More people die on Sundays.

How do you stay alive on Sundays?

Why did the damn ref

allow so much injury time?

Is it the subway that's bugging you?

Got out of the habit?

Me too. But parking is hell

at the stadium.

Remember the three Ss.

- Sociable...

- Smiling. Yeah...

D*ckheads!

Aren't you hungry?

Let's grab a bite.

I eat with my parents on Sundays.

Oh. Well. Next time.

- No. You can come too.

- You think so?

- Won't they...

- You're kidding. We'll take potluck.

- Where do they live?

- The suburbs.

There's a direct subway.

Subway? No way.

- No?

- No.

- It was close back there.

- The subway's always close!

- Thanks.

- Bye.

Your suburb's pretty.

Why wouldn't it be?

They live here and I live there.

- You can't cut the cord?

- It's them. Not me.

- Drove my wife crazy.

- So. You're married?

Me. Yes. Her. Not so much.

- How about you?

- Divorced.

My fault. Naturally.

You live alone?

Yes. It depends.

Depends on the evening.

She lays her eggs.

Safe from storm and foe...

Evening.

- Evening.

- Evening.

Franois Coste. Our dinner guest.

The famous Franois?

Bruno talks a lot about you.

My friend Franois.

My friend Bruno.

Bruno. My friend.

Catherine.

I'm afraid you've lost your bet.

I'm about to have dinner

with my best friend.

Take care. Talk to you later.

- I hope you like quiche.

- I could eat it every day.

- Here. Franois.

- Thanks.

You've cheered me up.

Smile and the world smiles with you.

- Here. Son.

- Thanks.

- Did you tape Thalassa for me?

- Sure.

- Bruno's a champion mastermind.

- Future champion.

Quiz games. You know?

On TV.

Not cereal boxes.

We coach him. See.

We train him.

Bruno. Get out some good wine

to toast your friend.

How did he get so addicted to facts?

As a kid he collected newspaper articles.

"True or False?"

"Amazing Facts!" "Did You Know?"

He followed all the game shows

on the radio and TV.

Some kids idolize rock stars.

His idols were Alex Trebek

and Robert Robinson.

Not that it helped him

pass his exams.

He knew a lot more than the teachers.

But

he fell apart. Nerves.

He has nice manners.

What does he do?

- He's a dealer.

- In what?

- Art. Furniture...

- Aunt Jacky's!

I don't think...

Father!

I think there's some valuable stuff.

But you're the expert.

Voil!

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Interesting. This art deco table.

I could easily sell it for you.

You could?

What's it worth?

About 10.000.

- Francs or cents?

- Euros.

Let me think about it.

There!

- Thanks.

- My pleasure.

Your trip wasn't wasted.

I haven't had such a happy time in ages.

So glad to have met you.

Us too!

You're very sociable.

- Really?

- Yes.

Really very sociable.

You have nice parents.

Yeah.

- What are yours like?

- They're dead.

Sh*t. I'm sorry.

You have your daughter. Though.

I'm worried about Louise.

She's allergic to dust.

But. As you saw.

She refuses to seek treatment.

Girls that age are touchy.

Like. If she wears makeup.

She must have a boyfriend.

But don't ever ask.

Let her confide in you.

Her. Confide? Not in me. Anyhow.

She never even calls me "Dad."

- What does she say?

- Nothing. She says nothing.

I can't get through to her.

Is she the only one?

- Want to put it down?

- I'm OK.

We can keep going...

- Can you lift it?

- You lift!

Lift your end. Go on.

Higher.

Damn!

- Sorry.

- Don't worry about it.

Don't worry? It's a period piece.

- Isn't it?

- Sure.

- Early Woolworths.

- You mean...

- It's not worth a fart?

- Not even that.

- You paid 10.000.

- To make your father happy.

You pay to make people happy?

You don't?

- Where do we put it?

- There.

Voil.

Your place isn't potluck.

It's the jackpot!

Make yourself at home.

Here's to friendship.

It's unique. 5th century B.C.

A man had it made

in memory of his best friend.

He was inconsolable.

He filled it with his tears.

No sh*t.

That's Achilles and Patroclus.

The Iliad.

Achilles and Patroclus.

Like Danny Wilde and Brett Sinclair

in The Persuaders!

Yeah. Kind of.

- Time I went home.

- Don't be silly.

We've drunk too much.

I have room for friends.

I'm sure you do

have room.

- Evening.

- Evening.

Sorry to just turn up.

But you stopped returning my calls.

Yes. Sorry.

I've been up to my neck.

Can I come in?

Yeah.

- Am I troubling you?

- Not at all.

- Going down-market?

- It was a gift.

- You're not alone?

- Yes.

Actually. No. Louise had an attack.

I dialed a friend...

I mean. I dialed a doctor.

I prefer your silences.

But if you call me. I'll answer.

- Franois?

- Yes?

- Good night.

- Good night.

I think friendship

is the greatest thing.

True friendship.

It's always pure and open.

Anyway...

See you tomorrow.

We hung out. Went to a soccer game.

Took the subway

and had dinner with his parents.

He's leading you astray!

What does he do?

- Drives a taxi.

- Don't give me that.

We've been friends since we were 11.

He became a taxi driver. So what?

And it's useful. I call. He comes.

The plumber comes when I call.

But he's not my best friend.

I warn you.

I won't settle for a stand-in.

What will it take to convince you?

What's a best friend to you?

I don't know. Let's say...

Someone who'd take risks for me.

What kind of risks?

Have you seen the time?

- A big risk?

- Yeah. A big risk.

- What's the acid test?

- I'll let you answer that.

- Good night.

- Good night.

Morning. Miss.

- I know you. Right?

- Yes. I'm your dad's taxi driver.

He's catching up on sleep.

Great soccer game.

He cheered his head off.

- Who?

- Your father.

- My father. A soccer fan?

- Yeah!

Does he eat butter?

No idea.

- I was up all night.

- One night is nothing.

The sleeplessness record

is held by Randy Gardner from San Diego.

In 1965. at 17.

He went 264 hours without sleep.

- You're a student. Right?

- Yeah.

- Of what?

- Asian archaeology.

Ruins. The memory of civilizations...

- Do you know...

- Do you ever stop talking?

My wife... My ex says I do it

so people won't hear me.

There are pecans in this.

Very bad for you.

I've eaten it all my life!

Good reason to stop.

Pecans can cause respiratory allergies.

You care about my health?

Your father does.

He's really worried.

- Did he tell you?

- Are you surprised?

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