My Fake Fiance Page #8

friends. I'm sorry. I just can't.

- We have to.

- I'm calling it off.

- No, you're not. Here.

- How can you go through with this?

You can't do this to me, Jennifer. I could've taken that money

my father gave me and paid off my debt, but I didn't do it.

- Why didn't you?

- I don't know. Because... because I just didn't.

Look, I can't... I can't stand up there tomorrow and marry a

man who doesn't love me.

- Now you tell me. It's great timing.

- Sorry. You'll have to pay your debt some other way.

- If I thought of a way to get the money, you think I would've

gone through this?

- I'm sorry it's been so terrible.

Why don't you go back in there, Jennifer, all right? Tell your

parents that all that money they just spent was for nothing.

Can you do that?

Can you do that?

Unless you want The Monkey to kill me so you can keep

my television.

- After the wedding, I never want to see you again. Thank God

I didn't sleep with you.

- Oh, you would've loved it.

- Not as much as you would have.

- Mm-hm.

- How do you tie these things, Steve?

- Why didn't you just get the clip-on?

- I don't know. Maybe I'm getting married, man.

- Are you decent?

- Yeah.

- Wow, you look...dashing.

- Thanks. Is she OK? She's still going to go through with this, right?

Of course she is. She's a little uptight, but that's just the

nervous jitters. But she did ask me to give you this,

Of course she is. She's a little uptight, but that's just the

nervous jitters. But she did ask me to give you this,

- OK

- It's really sweet, you know, exchanging love letters right before the ceremony.

- There you go.

- Yay, brother!

- Oh, um... yeah, you know what? We're almost ready to go, so you might

want to tie that tie.

- Okay.

Just think of it as a shoelace for your neck.

- Hey.

- Hey. I'm a friend of Vic's. We met last week.

- Vince.

- Right, Vince.

OK. OK.

Wait. Close the doors.

- Honey, it's time.

- I don't think I can do this.

- Of course you can.

- No. Vince and I...

- Jennifer, listen to me. Your mother and I always doubted

you'd even get married...

- I know, Dad. Thanks.

..because we never thought you'd meet anybody worthy of all

you had to offer. I couldn't be prouder of the woman you've become.

And I'm really sorry I haven't always told you that.

- Dad, I just need to tell you...

- Sweetheart.

I know you're scared. And as hard as it's gonna be for me to give

you away, I know you're gonna be in good hands.

Vince loves you.

OK?

- Wow.

- I know.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this

woman in the sacred bonds of holy matrimony.

I have had the chance to spend time with Jennifer and Vince, and their

unusually strong feelings for one another are, well, quite apparent.

I've done this job long enough to know when a couple is getting married

for the wrong reasons.Some they're in love with an idealised version,

of the person they are marrying. Others feel that they are simply too old

to be single any more. And some... Well, some just want all the gifts.

That's ridiculous.

But what they don't realise is that marriage is a journey. A

wonderful, exciting and, at times, excruciating journey.

Am I right?

But Jennifer and Vince, they see each other for who they really are.

There are no rose-coloured glasses on these two, not at all.

They are standing here today committing to each other,

knowing full well what they're getting into.

The couple has elected to recite their own vows. Vince?

- Yeah?

- The vows.

Oh, right.

Jennifer, I didn't know how loving a person

could be until I met you.

I can't. I just cannot do this.

- I've got to speak from the heart here.

- Uh-uh.

Jennifer, you are the most frustrating person

I have ever met.

You are opinionated and stubborn, and at times, really,

really, really bossy.

And that is why I've fallen in love with you. I didn't plan

on it, believe me. It just happened. And along the way, I...

..noticed your generosity, your kindness, your great sense

of humour and just your basic sense of decency.

You're an amazing woman, Jennifer. And I will be proud

to call you my wife.

Jennifer, it's your turn now.

Read your vows.

It was my grandmother's.

We're not quite to the rings yet.

What do you say?

You know, I pride myself on being able to read people. When I met

you, Vince, I thought you were sloppy and lazy and a ladies' man

And I was right. In fact, that was all I could see. But every day that

I've spent with you I have found little things that I love about you,

like the way you light up when your mom walks in a room or the

way you make my niece and nephew laugh. And ever since then,

I just... I don't know, I just love all those little things about you.

I love you, Vince.

- Is that a yes?

- Yes. Yes.

Yes.

Guys, the kissing comes later too. We're still at the vows. Oh, um,

Vince, do you take Jennifer to be your lawful wedded wife?

Jennifer, do you take Vince to be your lawful wedded husband?

Um, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may do that.

- Touching ceremony.

- Thank you.

Mr Monkey, we're gonna pay you back. If you want a down payment,

you can just take a gift off the gift table.

- I like your style. Vince, you did well.

- I know

Which is why I'm forgiving your debt.

- Really?

- Really?

Of course not. But I will knock off 75 bucks so you can get

yourself a blender. To the happy couple! Salut!

Of course not. But I will knock off 75 bucks so you can get

yourself a blender. To the happy couple! Salut!

- Oh, my God, we're married. We're really married.

- I know. We are so lucky.

I still feel kind of bad about deceiving everybody. Do you

think we should tell them?

- Now? What? Are you kidding? Your aunt just bought us that

coffee maker you wanted.

- Yeah, but it was all a lie.

It's a lie that came true, though. I love you, honey. I mean, we

can... give back all the stuff. Nothing's gonna change that.

I love you, Vince.

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