My Father, Die

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1

The world was not

round, not from where I

stood, watching the sun wither

into the shadows.

It left me knee deep

in the winter water.

I used to be

comfortable in the dark,

listening to the

wind scream and howl,

snapping branches off family

trees, casting them down stream

into the mouth of

the Mississippi,

into the heart of

what I call home.

What if she doesn't like me?

It don't matter if

she's likes you, man.

She loves me.

She would do it if I ask her to.

Besides, you're

my little brother.

Wherever I go, you go.

Ok?

Ok?

Yes, sir.

All right.

Don't call me sir, f*ggot.

F*** you.

What if I don't like her?

I thought you

said you liked her.

What if she doesn't like me,

or what if I change my mind?

No.

No.

No.

No, man.

It's easy.

Once you're inside, all you

got to do is pump like this.

Look.

Unh.

Unh.

Boom.

Check it.

Unh.

Unh.

Boom.

Don't laugh at me.

No, man.

No.

No.

No.

Look.

Look.

It's like this, ok.

Boom.

You start with the titties.

Ok.

Start with the titties first.

Ok?

And you work your way down.

How you doing?

Over there.

Ok.

Then you go, unh.

Yeah.

Ow.

Then you turn and you go, boom.

Boom.

I'm going to butter

your biscuits...

Oh, yeah.

B*tch.

Hey, Nana!

Hey, Nana!

Hey, Nana!

Hey.

What the f*** are

you yelling for?

You're trying to

wake up my mother?

Well, sh*t, we

ain't got all day.

Hey, Asher.

The world is warped.

My brother, Chester,

he taught me that.

Chester said love

is for the weak.

I disagree.

I think he's dead wrong.

Don't you think it's a

little weird with your brother

watching?

Look, buddy, I'm

going in with her.

You just look through the

window and you take notes.

Ok?

Goddamn it.

It's f***ing cold.

You're my foot soldier.

Remember?

Yeah.

Oh.

Keep an eye out for

any trouble, man.

Cause I

seen it with my own eyes.

Just as clears as I see a

slug slither from one wall

to another, it's

like being sucked

into the bottom of a bottomless

pit only to be spat out again.

She saw my silhouette, my

shadow behind the glass.

Nothing more than a smudge

of a boy in the dark.

I smell blood and rain and

mud, but I hear nothing.

My father's fingers ripped

me out of the ground

like something rotten.

My ears rang out like the whole

world was screaming at once.

God, wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait

why you f***ing

cheating on me, girl?

With my son!

Huh?

I'll f***ing kill you!

This is my father's

way of silencing the world.

A vain

attempt to prove himself a god.

If only the emotions

I felt were natural,

natural in the same way

venom is to the snake.

The ground tried

to swallow me up.

Mother earth knows

like moves in cycles.

Better to stop

what was already in motion.

I spent years together

killing Viet Cong.

My hands knotted

into little fists,

and I screamed with

my first death word.

Chester.

Chester.

But Chester was gone.

By the power of the almighty,

let these men break

free in Jesus' name.

All men are free!

Amazing, ain't it, Asher?

It's amazing what

the lord can do.

I said it's amazing what the

lord can do, ain't it, Asher?

Preacher Michael: Deliver his message.

Told me to start the

temple of bodily saints.

Oh, yeah.

And skin that gator

before he starts to rot.

It's been a day already.

Oh, and Asher.

Hey, Asher, take out the trash.

Lazy.

Lazy since the day he was born.

Preacher Michael: Jesus is good to me.

Buck, would you lead us in?

I know this is

unexpected, and I'm sorry.

Don't make me no happier.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Hello, Asher.

You know hunting

season's done, right?

Have a seat, son.

This is hard.

Asher, um, the

reason I'm here, I

got to notify all the

necessary people that ah,

your father got out earlier

this evening due to overcrowding

and um, good behavior.

When you say necessary people,

you mean that little

whore, don't you?

Yes, ma'am.

All necessary people.

Now look, I know he had

four more years, but...

No.

Judge put a

restraint on your home.

Where is he now?

No, I ain't

seen them in a while.

Man, I'll tell ya, a

lot has changed around

here since you've been away.

So you look like you

haven't aged a day.

You look great, man.

You need another one?

Why not?

It's a lot quieter around here.

And I seen all the boys

from the club house.

Why don't you put that

one of my tab, Russ?

Hey, Lawny.

I'll take one too.

My name's Lawny.

I haven't seen you

around here before.

Thank you, Russ.

To ah, sh*t, friends,

family and fornication, huh?

Thank you, Russ.

M-hm.

You know, my ah, old man

used to work in a distillery.

And he always told me

whiskey is good at year 12,

but it's better at 17.

He would always say, boy, you'll

go blind you drink that sh*t.

But, but he also told me I'd go

blind if I fiddle with my flesh

fluid too much too.

Look at me now.

I got 20/20 vision.

I'm a goddamn miracle over here.

There were whispers about how

my father came to be.

Some say he was born

and left for dead

under a rotten sycamore

by a whore, 17,

only to be found and raised by

a descendant of the slave who

beat generations

upon generations

of his relatives' resentments

into the bones of the boy.

But I do know that my father

was a ferocious fighter,

had great potential.

Mama said he could have

gone all the way to the top.

Said the safest place

for him was in the ring.

She blamed America for

sending him into the jungle.

I blame Vietnam for not

bringing him home in a box.

Hey, man, hold up.

Some cigarettes.

Where are you headed off to

in such a hurry there, man?

You need a ride somewhere?

I'll give a ride.

Look, I don't mean to speak

out of line or anything,

but didn't your

daddy ever teach you

it's rude to walk

out on a man just

after he bought you a drink?

Oh, you're in trouble, and

you need some saving, huh?

Well, maybe you don't need it,

but I could tell from the way

you looked at me in there

that you definitely want it.

I think you're just shy timing.

F*** f***.

You f***ing idiot.

Don't f***ing move.

You just assaulted a goddamn

police officer, horse.

Now, why don't you drop that

f***ing bag, put your hands

in the air, and why don't

you wee wee your f*ggot

ass over to that car.

That's right, f***ing

move to the f***ing car.

Spread your f***ing legs.

Now, you're going to spread

your f***ing legs for me, right?

Huh?

Oh, yeah.

Looks like I'm missing

out on that, huh?

You got a key?

You're in f***ing deep now, man.

You're f***ing deep.

Oh, you're gonna

f***ing rot for that.

You're...

You f***ing f*ggot.

A little out of

your jurisdiction,

ain't you, Johnson?

I got the call.

I figured I'd come out

and give your hand.

Besides, I might

have a related case.

Right.

Right.

That going to be

a problem, Wayne?

I guess we can work

on this one together.

Tell me something,

Russ, the fellow

that Lawny was

chatting up, I wonder

if you'd describe him to me.

Strong, silent type.

Hm.

Great head of hair.

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