My Favorite Martian Page #7

- Sorry.

-Faster. Faster.

-It's getting closer!

-I'm going as fast as I can!

-That's not fast enough!

Martin! Martin, up ahead!

We're trapped! Quick, make us smaller.

We're not gonna make it!

Hang on!

-Are we clear?

- Whoa-ho, I think we did it!

-I see light ahead!

-Oh. Whoa, whoa-ooh!

-Where the heck are we?

- Hey, Elma,

where's my new Field and Stream?

It's in the bathroom,

right where you left it.

Oh, yeah.

I see it now.

By the way,

where's my tuna sandwich?

-You want it in there?

-Ha-ha. Ohh!

Why'd I eat that fourth burrito?

-Uh-oh.

-Do it. Do it now.

Uh! Uh, uh, uh-

-Sorry, buddy.

-I'll get you, you son of a b-

-No!

-Sir, the police just had a crank call.

-A '62 Plymouth just came out

of a toilet on Woodlawn.

-Aah!

Stop! Pull over! Pull over!

We need to talk!

Pull over!

-Pull over there.

-Where? Oh.

-Get the alternator. I'll get the ship!

-Okay.

Oh, my goodness! Martin!

What's wrong?

Forgive me, Lorelei,

but this is urgent.

-You have something I need desperately.

-Oh, wow.

-Martin, don't say that

unless you mean it.

-You don't know the half of it.

-I'm from another world.

-Oh, well, I could have told you that.

-Oh! Mmm!

Mar- Martin?

Martin, come on!

When you look at the stars,

think of me.

-Oh. -

Oh! Whew!

Feelings for an Earth woman-

I've gotta get off this planet.

I've got it!

I don't have the right tools,

so I'm having trouble getting-

Oh!

Or we could do it your way.

But wait! This means your vehicle

will cease to function.

I know how much it means to you.

Well, that's too bad.

Just had the darn thing washed too.

That's good!

That's-

Martin? Martin?

- Direct hit!

-Uncle Martin?

Hey! Hey, what-

Hey, you don't know what you're doing!

Hey, hey!

Don't mess with that spaceship!

It's gonna explode!

-Narrow the beam.

-Intensify.

I'm not flame-retardant!

We're in here!

Stop it!

-We're gonna die.

-Die? And I'm still virgin wool!

-It's okay.

I'm scared! Hold me!

Oh, this is nice.

Easy does it.

Great.

-Wow. Fascinating.

- Doctor.

It appears to be some sort of...

biomechanical transmitting device.

Doctor, there's some chewing gum

wedged back in his molar.

Leave it!

Pestering me with Juicy Fruit!

This guy's got a radio station

inside of his skull! Here.

We'll put this under the electron

microscope later. Whoa-ho!

Excellent.

Armitan's gonna be eating his words!

Perfect ending

to an already perfect day.

-He's a little pale.

-I think he's having a negative

reaction to the tranquilizers.

Well, two CCs of adrenaline, stat!

-Doctor, I think we're losing him.

-Nothing.

- Shut it down.

-Get ready to try it again.

This time, full power.

-He's pointing to something.

-He's pointing to the thing.

-Pick it up. Pick-

Pick it- Yeah.

No. No, no, no.

No, that one. That one.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

This. Do this.

-Yes!

Whoa-oh-oh!

No. No, no. Oh.

-Tim!

-Oh!

All right, back off, Gomer.

Hey.

Give me that, dipstick!

You get Tim.

I'll scare the locals.

-Let's get out of here!

-Call security!

-Nobody will take on the suit!

My zipper is stuck,

and I'm mad as hell!

-Lizzie, what-

-Tim! Oh, are you okay?

-Fine, fine. Are you okay?

-Oh, you wouldn't believe-

-Yeah.

-We got to find Martin.

-Yeah.

Back off!

You heard me.

You don't understand. That spaceship's

gonna explode in 20 minutes.

-It is?

-On the floor. Now.

Excuse me.

Arnold, Jean-Claude?

Not working. Oh.

-It's an empty suit.

-Empty suit?

Now you've done it, Grasshopper.

Whoo-aah!

Boxing?

-You should be boxing groceries.

That tickles, ya big ox!

Say, aren't you

one of the Spice Girls?

-Alley-oop!

Beavis down, Butt-head to go.

So, is it true you peed your bunk

in summer camp? Ouch!

Oh, Gee- Tim! Lizzie!

-Ooh!

-Uh-oh.

-This is gonna hurt.

-Ooh!

-Ow!

-Lizzie!

The ship's going to explode!

Veenox Seven.

Chew this.

- You gotta believe it!

Whoa-oh-oh-oh!

Uh-oh.

Did you do something with your hair?

Glad you noticed.

Whoop!

-I think I liked you

better the other way.

-Oh, really?

-Well, that can be arranged.

-No, no. We gotta find Martin.

-Where's Zoot?

Oh, no.

Come on!

Come on!

Doctor, he's gone.

He's not gone till I say he's gone,

so back off!

-Back off! Now!

- Charge the paddle.

- All right, we're charged.

- Clear! Clear!

All right. Clear!

-Come on, Martin.

-Oh, damn!

-There's no pulse, Doctor.

All right, all right.

I'm calling it. 8:15.

-We're too late.

- No, hurry!

- Would you like me

to do the autopsy, Doctor?

-Are you insane?

-You get out of here! Get out!

-All right. All right.

All of you idiots, you get out.

You get out.

-I'm goin'!

-You get right out. Clowns!

Come on.

Okay, my sorry little Martian.

Have it your way.

Let's open you up.

- Assistance, Doctor?

-What? No! You-

Hey, wait a minute.

You're not-

-She came with me.

-Oh.

-Clear.

Must... be together.

Zoot!

-Martin?

-Martin!

- Tim! Lizzie!

-You're- You're-

- Breathin', baby!

I still got the touch.

Oh, you beauteous bathrobe!

-Martin-

-Let's see cotton do that, huh? Easy.

-I got an image!

- Okay, okay.

Martin! Martin!

-We don't have much time.

-Blotz!

-Shut down and monitor all exits.

All units stand by for total lockup.

-Martin, can you get the lock?

-I think so.

-Come on!

-Biotech units on alert.

All non-security personnel...

-are to report to their holding areas.

-Come on. Stay down!

-Stay down.

-Here's a place!

All right.

Stand back, you two.

-What's going on? Where's the alien?

-There's been a slight problem.

-Open that gate. Let's find Dr Coleye.

-Yes, sir, yes, sir. Right away.

-Come on!

Let 'em through!

Here.

There. Contact.

There.

I think that's going to work.

I'm gonna miss you, Martin.

-You too, Zoot.

-You're so full of starch!

Hey, let 'em know how you feel!

You're the best pet I ever had!

Stop being such a baby blanket!

Lizzie, my dear friend.

Take care, Uncle Martin.

I've done that before. It's very nice.

I highly recommend it.

Good luck, you two.

Something tells me

you're gonna miss your flight!

-Then in two minutes, we all die.

-You're lying.

Are you certain about that, Coleye?

-Because I'm not.

-What are you saying?

-Release him.

-Release him?

I have spent an entire career

trying to prove that aliens exist.

Now he's my proof!

Dead or alive,

he's staying with me!

Oh. Ohh! Ohh!

Whoa! Aah!

-Martin?

-I don't understand! I- I-

Coleye, you always were a little blotz.

- What?

-Neenurt!

Ha ha ha! I haven't heard that name

in a long time.

-Pronounced properly, anyway.

-You mean it was you all along?

I can't believe this!

I should have known! You're a Martian?

I was-

Uhh! Aah!

Waaah!

-Wait. You're the one I saw at the pier.

I was trying to get to you

before they did.

I've been trying

to hitch a ride home for 30 years!

What a beauty!

Oh, by the way,

I believe these belong to you.

My antennae.

I can't go home without these. I have a

hard enough time getting dates as it is.

Mine's always giving me trouble too.

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