My Favorite Wedding Page #3

It's as if Amber

and her mother

are speaking some kind of,

I don't know, foreign language,

Wedding-ese.

I mean,

they ask me questions,

but I sense I'm not supposed

to say anything,

so do I answer, or don't I?

It'll all be over soon.

Uh-huh, and quite likely,

I will be, too.

Amber!

Whoa...

'Kay, I like mimosas

as much as the next gal,

but at the rate you're going,

they're going to run out

of orange juice in Florida!

[Amber]:
Bernadette keeps

telling me a story

about a bride who can't fit

into her wedding dress!

So...?

Isn't it obvious?

She's trying

to get into my head!

Oh... oh, no.

I'm sure she's just

trying to be funny.

You look beautiful...

and nervous.

[chuckles]

Oh, honey, honey...

did you connect

with the steakhouse yet?

Jack's friend is catering

the reception dinner.

Charlie's got

all the orders a-okay.

Best steaks in town.

And you didn't forget

the seven vegan meals, right?

[Jack]:
The vegans are cool.

It's all handled.

[Amber]:
And you're going

to help your mom

with the slide show?

Amber, on it.

Relax, okay?

Take care of her.

Yeah.

Okay?

See you.

Jack is as cool as a cucumber,

and I am falling apart.

Ever since

the wedding planner left,

everything is a mess!

Oh, relax.

I'm sure everything

can be handled

with a few phone calls.

What is this I hear

about an AWOL wedding cake?

The baker was supposed

to check in days ago,

and this is

a very special wedding cake

that I designed myself,

with meringue hearts...

there's a custom topper,

and "Love Forever"

written in marzipan.

Do you have

a number for this bakery?

It's somewhere

in the wedding

planner's notes.

All right.

I am calling them right now.

Thank you, Tess.

I knew you would help.

Our bakery

is permanently closed

at this location...

Oh... well, uh,

there's a reason

you haven't heard

from the bakery.

The recording says

they're closed.

For the day?

For forever.

Gone out of business.

But...

but they have Daddy's deposit!

Oh, this is not good.

See, the wedding planner

is supposed to be handling this.

Yeah, what exactly happened

with the wedding planner?

She was super-opinionated.

Isn't that why you hire one?

Yeah...

but, I mean,

we were clashing from day one,

and then we got in the teeniest

little tiff over place-settings,

and she just quit!

Okay, well, it sounds like

you need a new bakery,

and fast.

Would you?

Oh, Tess, you are the best!

Oh... uh... well, I'm...

Yeah, you know?

I made it

through med school.

Think I can handle a cake.

Oh, but you will need a driver.

Michael!

Oh, no...

Oh, yeah, no,

I'm-- I'm fine.

[Amber]:
Tess,

I'm not going to trust you

to some Chicago cabbie.

- Michael!

- Yeah, me?

Yeah, no, I'm--

I'm good.

[Michael]:

Yeah, she's good...

whatever it is!

Tess, Michael is from Chicago,

and you wouldn't mind

driving Tess to some bakeries,

would you, Michael?

Uh...

[stutters]

Jack just rented this boat,

and we're going to go fishing

on the lake,

and all the groomsmen

are going.

Yes, please, go!

Yeah, I wouldn't want to get

between you and a fish.

[Amber]:
Guys!

As Maid of Honor

and Best Man,

it is your duty to help!

[Tess]:

Right, okay.

- Of course.

- Of course.

Yeah, and Michael

will help, right?

Right! Fine.

You guys are the best.

Thanks!

Okay, so, well...

I'm going

to start Googling bakeries,

and you go pull the car around.

Okay, fine.

Just remember, I'm a lawyer.

I'm not a chauffeur.

Okay, well,

maybe you could make a motion

toward the parking lot?

Very funny.

I thought so.

Can you move a little

quicker? Please?

I'm supposed

to be fishing,

not on some

crazy cake hunt.

Oh, you're not the only

one making sacrifices.

I had to move my shiatsu

massage until tomorrow.

Besides, helping a wedding

is a noble cause.

Who made you

wedding planner?

Everyone knows

when you lose

a wedding planner,

there is a clear line

of succession,

starting with

the Maid of Honor

and the Best Man,

all the way down

to the flower girl.

'Kay, none of that is true.

Do you honestly want

to trust crazy Aunt Millie

with the wedding?

Purple scarf?

No, but I don't understand

why you and I have to be

roped into this thing!

Well, Jack is your

best friend, right?

- Yeah.

- Amber's mine,

so let's just steer

this wedding

clear of the

icebergs, okay?

[phone chimes]

Oh...

Oh, for cracking ice...

look at this!

Jack's cousin

just caught a trout.

The lucky stiff.

Oh, stop your

bellyaching.

I am saving you from

sunburn and sea sickness.

Great bedside manners, Doc.

Oh, here it is!

I have a great feeling

about this place.

I'm not quite

sure I follow.

Can you run that by me again?

Well, for a wedding cake,

we'll simply make four layers,

and then we'll nix the lollipops

and keep the bow!

Right...

[Michael]:

Oh, wow...

Can we get

a dozen of these...

11 to go?

Oh!

Ah...

Sorry.

So, you need

a wedding cake ASAP?

Have you two thought

this through?

What? Yes!

No! No, no, no, no, no.

It's not for us.

This is

what the bride wants.

"She" does, huh?

Quite the list.

[Tess]:

Can you do it?

Of course.

We are the best bakery

in the city.

And that is why

we came to you first!

Why don't you have

a look around,

and I'll total this up.

These cakes

are the perfect metaphor

for a wedding...

treacle syrup,

assortment of nuts,

and just as expensive

as a small house.

Why are you so cynical

about weddings?

Weddings are wonderful!

I don't understand

why people would want

to spend a small fortune

on something that fails

55% of the time.

When Amber and I

were little girls,

we snuck under a hedge

and watched my neighbor's

backyard wedding.

It was magical.

You know, what's magical

is how a nest egg

can just disappear.

Trust me, in my line,

I have seen couples

where that money

should've been spent

on couples' counseling,

not on a wedding.

I'm starting

to see it now.

What?

Yeah, I'm a doctor,

and I completely missed

the symptoms.

This is personal,

all of this wedding-bashing.

Wedding bashing?

The wedding

still on, you two?

Wow.

That's ridiculous!

So is your timeline.

I don't suppose

you would consider

knocking that price down for us

just a little bit, do you?

I really like

your bakery,

and I could put a good word in

with the mayor.

He's getting married

in the spring.

You know the mayor?

Yeah, I got him

on speed-dial.

We went to law school together,

and I helped him pass ethics.

I'll see what I can do...

Thank you.

Ethics?

Ethics, yeah.

[Tess]:

I've got to say,

I was super impressed

with you today.

fighting

to get a better price

on that cake...

Maybe change your

opinion about weddings?

No, I just couldn't bear

to see you steamrollered.

Yep, still you.

Tell me you got a cake?

Oh, no...

Victory!

[squeals]

Thank you so much!

You two make

a great team.

Like orange juice

and toothpaste.

Still you.

But see?

Doesn't it make you

feel good,

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