My Favorite Wedding Page #5

you have everything backwards.

I ask for your opinion

so then I can do

the opposite.

That's ridiculous.

Okay, something blue...

honestly!

That is exactly

what is wrong with weddings...

The traditions,

the pitfalls...

They turn what is supposed

to be some great party

into one big buffet of stress.

You just don't get it,

because a big event like this

for you,

all you have to do

are the three S's.

Ah, the three S's.

Yeah, shower,

shave, and show up.

That is not how

I remember it.

But the bride

is under so much pressure.

She's got the planning,

the organizing, the budgeting,

and then also, like,

the juggling of family,

and old friends

from college, even exes,

all the while

trying to look gorgeous

in a dress.

Wow. You have really put

some thought into this.

I'm just saying,

most of the heavy lifting

falls on the bride's shoulders,

so cut Amber some slack.

Uh-huh.

Amber has been in

Chicago long enough.

She can handle it.

They don't call us

the City of Broad Shoulders

for nothing.

Yeah, what does

that even mean?

You know,

it's the line

in the Carl Sandburg

poem "Chicago,"

and it means

we work hard here,

and even if that work

isn't pretty,

and even if it hurts,

Chicago people

push through.

We do what we have to do

to get things done.

What?

Oh, uh...

just actually sounded poetic.

Thank you.

Is something wrong

with you?

And it's how I know

that your boyfriend

is not from Chicago.

And how's that?

Because he doesn't do

the heavy lifting,

like flying here for a wedding.

That is really ugly.

Then it must be perfect.

Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- [phone rings]

Again?

I've got to take this.

Yep. No problem.

Hi.

[Dex]:
Who were you talking to

back there?

Oh, that was Michael.

Yeah, we're out shopping

for jewelry.

Who?

Michael.

He's the best man.

Yeah, we're just helping

Amber out.

You know, the bride,

she needs her something...

Hey, Tessie,

I need your help.

How soon do I need to take

that sea sickness medication

before yachting

to be absolutely positive?

Oh, just a couple of hours.

Got it. Thanks!

Hey, look...

I've got to run, babe.

I'll call you later.

Well, how...

Miss you. Bye.

Okay, bye.

Everything okay?

Boyfriend troubles?

Everything's fine.

Thank you for caring.

Oh, I have to pay

for the...

I already took care of it.

It's for a noble cause.

You're welcome.

[Michael]:
They're probably

around the twelfth hole by now.

Don't you feel some

deep sense of satisfaction,

playing such a role in

someone else's happiness?

No, I feel a deep void

where the golf

would have gone.

Are we done?

Yes, thank goodness,

so you can go join

your friends,

and I finally get

to relax, too.

Ah, now you're

starting to get it!

Tess!

We're headed to the spa,

and you're coming!

Finally.

Tess?

I've been meaning

to talk to you.

Now, you know about computers,

right?

Sure.

Why do you ask?

Well, it's the slideshow

for the rehearsal dinner.

Jack was supposed

to help me,

but I can't find him

anywhere,

and I'm in way over my head.

Tess, but you're due at the spa

right now.

I...

I can help.

Oh!

Thank you, honey.

Bye, Michael!

Now, you'll have time

to get to it

before the barbecue

meet and great.

[Amber]:

Thank you, Tess.

You and Michael

have been such lifesavers.

So, what do you...

what do you think of him?

Oh, he's like

a foggy x-ray.

I can't figure him out.

Hey, hon', I'm going

to head back to the kitchen,

and grab some more

marshmallows and stuff

for the s'mores, okay?

We need 'em.

And there he goes again,

the amazing vanishing groom.

Stop worrying.

There's mountains

of marshmallows.

He just keeps making excuses

so that he can disappear.

He was AWOL for hours today.

He was probably

with his groomsmen.

No, no!

The groomsmen were at the gym.

Not Jack.

Oh, God, Tess,

what if I'm making

a huge mistake?

What do you mean?

Well, I love Jack,

but we are

very different people sometimes.

I am a morning person.

He's a night owl.

Jack loves the beach.

I hide from the sun.

I mean,

I love to dance.

I think Jack would rather be

tortured than dance.

Okay, Amber...

do you remember

the first day of college

when your keys

went missing,

and you thought for sure

your roommate had stolen them,

and the whole time,

they were in your nightstand,

and everything

was fine?

Yeah...

You are a worrier.

It's just what you do.

I know.

And you know the best

thing for cold feet?

No.

Circulation!

So go get that

party started.

Please, go move

those feet.

Okay.

Doctor's orders.

I'm going.

Uh-oh.

What kind

of a greeting is that?

Well, you know,

every time I see you,

we get dragged

into some kind of task.

That's actually true.

How was the rest

of your day?

It was great

actually, yeah.

Finally got

that round of golf in...

and I'm really sorry

you got roped

into that presentation.

I tried to help you.

And thank you

for trying,

but what choice

did I have?

I mean, no one was

lifting a finger,

and Mrs. Tilton gave

me the photo album,

and there was a scanner

in the business center.

Well...

at least you get

to enjoy all of this.

Looks like it's going

to be a beautiful night.

This sunset,

the fire coming...

and your laptop.

Wow! Okay.

For such an organized person,

I did not expect to see

such a cluttered desktop.

That's impressive.

"Innovations

in Bone Density Scanners"?

"Advances

in Podiatry Treatments?"

I like to be

cutting-edge.

I have, like, 50

medical papers to read,

in my fun-time.

Promise not to invite me

to your fun-time.

Oh, I promise.

A hundred seconds of solitude?

Hmm?

What? Oh.

Yeah, of course.

What was I thinking?

Had to check

on the florist.

No stone unturned.

Hey, Tess?

Can I make

an observation?

In the 48 hours

that I've known you,

you pass up

a golf game,

you've eaten only

when forced to,

and you missed a spa day

so that you could work on

a slideshow presentation.

And your point?

My point is,

all these guests here,

they're having a blast.

When are you going

to join in?

Well, it just seems

like people keep

needing my help!

That's because

you let them.

Ever heard the phrase,

"Doctor, heal thyself"?

Look, there is

a silver lining

to me being busy

this weekend,

and that is that

it takes the focus off of me.

I swear,

if Bernadette asks me

where my "missing boyfriend" is

one more time,

I am going to snap!

And where is your

missing boyfriend?

Ha. Very funny.

Thank you.

I just have to survive

yoga with her tomorrow,

and then I can have

some peace.

Oh, carb-loading again?

Last two skewers

on the barbie,

and one's got

your name on it.

Don't confuse me

by being nice.

Fine, I'll eat 'em.

No, I'll...

[gasps]

What? What is it?

[Tess]:

It's Dr. Hastings again.

[Michael]:
Oh, yeah,

the guy from the brunch.

What is his

deal, anyway?

I'm up for this fellowship

at Northwestern,

and he is

on the selection committee.

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