My First Wedding

MY FIRST WEDDING

Let me tell you something.

Think twice before

getting married.

Especially, if you're going

to throw a party.

Let's begin with the catering

for 120 people:

it costs a real fortune.

And don't get me started

with the venue...

the photographer...

the video, the DJ...

the musicians, the suit,

the bride's dress...

It truly is absolutely mad.

And what for?

Vandalism.

Several months of preparation to

see how in a few hours...

a group of crazy people, supposed

to be your family and friends...

devour the food, break chairs,

trash the bathrooms...

and get all sweaty.

They only want to get drunk.

It is real disaster.

And if all that happens..

your party is a success.

But none of this makes any sense

if the one that ruins the party...

is the groom himself.

That's me, Adrin Meier.

Why am I ruining a 2,000 dollar

suit riding that horse?

VILLA MARA RANCH

I need to reach that sign

before that car does.

Rabbi Mendel,

I don't know his first name...

and Father Patricio,

I don't know his last name...

are traveling in that car.

Our plan is for them to officiate

at the wedding.

-Oh, yes.

-Oh, yes.

I'm a nonbeliever Jewish.

and my wife...

is a semi-believer Catholic.

So we thought it was a great idea

to make a mixed ceremony.

But when we made inquiries,

we discovered...

that none of the religions

accepts such a ceremony.

But there's always

a friend of a friend.

Apparently, Rabbi Mendel's

father came from Europe...

in the same ship than my

grandparents, Lzaro and Chuchi,

who separated recently.

And they are the parents

of Raquel, my mother...

who has been unhappily married

to his first husband Ral...

my father, for the last 40 years.

And Father Patricio

is the priest of the parish...

to which Delia contributes,

who is Marta 's aunt...

the lovely mother of Leonora...

who is the woman that I love

with all my heart...

my bride-to-be.

That's why they did us the favor

of coming here...

with a 25% increase

of each ceremony.

The party is not as expensive

as he says.

The problem is that Adrin has a

difficult relationship with money.

Nobody will charge you less

for a guest's service.

It is a wedding.

To me, it's not an expense.

It's an investment.

But... for him, money is an excuse.

It actually is a

conscious manifestation...

of an unconscious blockage.

Adrin does not want

to get married.

Three years ago, Leonora

went to a seminar on Lacan...

and ever since she

over-interprets the world.

To me, things are simpler.

For instance.

I hate wearing a necktie.

I don't feel asphyxiated

by the commitment...

of an ever-lasting relationship.

It just squeezes my neck.

The other day I said to her:

"My shoes hurt."

And she said:
"You are afraid

of taking this step."

Alright, let's suppose

that the shoes thing...

is because of the hard leather.

What happened today

was not by chance.

It is highly significant.

Romans used to say:

"What happens at the wedding...

is a reflection of the future

of the couple."

And I believed that too.

That's why I wanted

a perfect wedding.

Yes. that's me.

Leonora Campos.

When I'm sad, I only get

better if I eat or if I run.

Maybe this wasn't the

best moment to do this.

Or the best place.

Let me give you my version

of what went through.

Are you aware that today

is the end of everything?

-No.

-You're wasting 20 years away.

I've known you

since third grade.

Today, you gotta back me up.

You know I always do.

But not today.

Listen to me.

Why don't you get a girlfriend?

I generously accepted

not having the bachelor party.

I hated that, but I'm OK.

But this is a funeral.

-There's no coming back from this.

-Get yourself a girlfriend.

You can do it. For real.

And what are you doing?

-Look at this.

-Don't do this.

Come on. Knock it off.

Please... can you just relax?

-Leonora will kill me.

-You are just a couple of kids.

Adrin, can I bother you

for a second?

-Can we check the itinerary?

-Yes.

Please... stop it.

-Tell me.

-The ceremony...

Just one thing. There's a guy

helping people to park their cars.

-Does he work for you?

-Yes, sure.

Oh, because he's asking for tips.

-But he's not forcing anyone.

-Oh. I see.

The ceremony begins

at 12:
30 p.m.

-At 1:
30 p.m... we serve lunch.

-Alright.

Then we have the waltz,

a dance section of 45 minutes...

the dessert,

another dance section...

at 5 p.m., the stand-up show.

then the videos, the cake...

-the garters...

-No, no garters.

-At 6:
40 p.m... dessert.

-No garters.

At 7:
40 p.m.,

another dance section.

After that, the toast,

and the best men's speeches.

-No, there won't be any best men.

-Why not?

We didn't reach an agreement

with Leo.

-Oh, well.

-Oh, well.

-How are you... my dear boy?

-Fine.

-Is there something wrong?

-No, not at all. Why do you ask?

-Because you seem nervous.

-You make me nervous, mom.

Oh, well. Did you know that 75%

of mixed couples don't work out?

-Don't start.

-That's according to the statistics.

Mom... don't you have

anything better to do?

Your father and I have

decided to continue paying...

for your medical insurance

for six months, just in case.

Thank you... mom.

It won't be necessary.

Chuchi doesn't want to sit

at the table with Lzaro.

You see? Endogamous

couples don't work either.

Your grandmother is not doing well.

It's a difficult situation.

And your grandfather behaves

as if he were a teenager.

It's not that bad, Raquel.

He's just enjoying things.

Yeah, right, for you

every-thing's simple.

You don't care if the family

breaks up.

Please... don't go there.

Don't go there.

Nobody asked for your opinion.

Don't talk.

This is a private conversation

between mother and son.

That's enough. If you excuse me,

I'll get married.

Wait a minute.

Tell me something:

isn't that your cousin Elena?

Wasn't she shopping?

Mica.

-Hello.

-Hi. Adri.

-How are you, Mica?

-Fine. Congratulations.

-Thank you. How are you?

-I'm doing fine. And you?

Are you nervous?

Yes...

I totally agree with you.

I'll see you... Hello... baby.

Why did it take you so long

to pick up the phone?

Honey, remember this

is a long-distance call.

Baby, I'm here with Delia.

She wants to give us something.

-Where are you?

-In my room.

And what happened with the whole

not-seeing-the-bride thing?

Come up here now.

It's important.

Alright. I'm on my way.

Alright. I'm on my way.

Adrin!

Miguel ngel.

I didn't expect to see you here.

-I'm the groom.

-That's why.

The wedding is the only ritual

where the victim...

has to pay all the expenses.

-That's a good one.

-Don't you forget it.

By the way,

I want you to meet Lala.

She's my latest carnal shelter.

Alright.

I'll see you around.

Enjoy the party.

Thank you.

Congratulations, Adrin!

Is there something more pathetic

than marriage, Lala?

Don't come in!

What's going on?

Shall I leave?

No, you can come in.

but you have to close your eyes.

Don't do this to me... baby.

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