My Girl 2 Page #2

Harry bowls his ball, which goes straight into the side

ditch

Sh*t.

Harry walks back to Vada

VADA:

Visualize a spare?

HARRY:

Well you know what I mean.

VADA:

So, what's on your mind?

HARRY:

Me? What makes you think there's something on

my mind?

VADA:

You're passing up Archie Bunker to go

bowling, you've gotta have an angle.

HARRY:

No, I just thought it'd be nice if the two of

us had an evening out so we could... talk.

Vada stands up and picks up a ball

VADA:

Shelly's already told me all about sex.

HARRY:

She told me too, I mean, she told me she told

you about sex, I personally new about sex long

before I met Shelly.

VADA:

I figured you did.

Vada bowls her ball and gets a perfect strike

VADA:

Yes!

Vada returns and sits down

HARRY:

Ahh, strike, not, not bad at all. No, this

talk isn't about sex, it's, well there've been

a lot of changes, and I know you're upset

about losing your room, but the baby's gotta

go somewhere.

VADA:

No it's okay, I understand, really.

HARRY:

Honey that's very mature, I'm proud of you

Vada.

Harry then gets up to bowl again

VADA:

Maybe I should just move to China. One kid

per family, that way you don't lose your room.

HARRY:

Hey, why don't you just keep your room and

we'll put the baby in the back yard.

VADA:

Don't do that, you've got the whole garage.

HARRY:

Oh yeah, right-between the power mower and

the weed killer.

VADA:

Dad I'm kidding, you can have the room.

HARRY:

Seriously?

VADA:

Seriously.

HARRY:

Great.

Harry stands poised to bowl...

VADA:

I'm thirteen, maybe it's about time I got my

own apartment.

THUD, Harry drops his ball and turns around looking

staggered, then sees that Vada is definitely kidding

VADA AND JUDY ARE IN A SHOP SMELLING PERFUMES

JUDY:

My mother can't have any more kids.

VADA:

Neither can mine. She's dead. It's Shelly

who's pregnant.

JUDY:

(raising wrist to Vada's nose)

What do you think?

Vada smells Judy's wrist

VADA:

I think I'm leaning towards passionflower, it

combines the traditional floral scent with the

musty aroma of samba wood.

a group of teenage guys enter the shop

VADA:

What are you staring at?

JUDY:

It's Kevin, I don't want him to see me.

VADA:

See you? He can smell you from there.

JUDY:

Oh God, he's coming over here, act natural,

totally natural.

Vada and Judy stand close to a rack of sunglasses, Kevin

and his two friends approach

JUDY:

(looks at Kevin with a large smile,

and slowly takes her sunglasses off)

Hi Kevin.

KEVIN:

Hi.

Vada turns around wearing sunglasses with ENORMOUS lenses

KEVIN:

(to Vada)

Real cool Sultenfuss, you look like a

grasshopper.

His group of friends laugh and move off

VADA:

What's the matter?

JUDY:

He likes you.

VADA:

Likes me? He said I looked like a

grasshopper.

JUDY:

Boys always pretend they hate you when they

really like you.

VADA:

That's ridiculous, so, if you really can't

stand someone, then you pretend that you're

really crazy about them?

JUDY:

I don't know. And I don't care, Kevin's a

jerk and I don't like him anymore. He's all

yours!

VADA'S THOUGHTS

If grasshopper is a term of endearment, I've

got a lot to learn.

BEDROOM IN SULTENFUSS' HOUSE, ARTHUR, SHELLY, HARRY AND

VADA ARE MOVING AROUND DOING VARIOUS THINGS

ARTHUR:

So have you guys thought of any new names for

the baby?

Vada looks annoyed and drops with a thud the load of books

she is carrying

SHELLY:

Umm, yeah, if it's a girl I'm kinda leaning

toward Esme.

ARTHUR:

Esme?

HARRY:

Yeah, you know that kinda sounds like a noise

your nose makes,

(nasalised)

es-MEH. I mean it's...

ARTHUR:

And what if it's a boy?

HARRY:

Oh Harry Junior of course.

VADA:

Dad, when a boy likes you, does he pretend

that he doesn't like you? And if he pretends

that he doesn't like you how can you tell that

he likes you?

HARRY:

What boy likes you?

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