My Life Without Me Page #4

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Penny, please don't pick on her.

You always complain

when I brush your hair too.

- Why do you have to do that?

- I wasn't picking on her.

And telling me

that she's always complaining,

that's not picking on her?

I think so.

I wasn't picking on her.

I'm not always complaining.

Okay, that's enough, guys.

Go to bed, okay?

Okay, good night, monkey girl.

You got kitty?

- Yeah.

- There you go. You've got some covers.

'Night, buddy.

You don't want me to kiss you?

I wasn't picking on her.

Penny, that is enough,

I said, okay?

It's true you're just

like Grandma.

Hey. Do you want some leftover chicken?

Aren't you going to say hello?

How many beers have you had?

Well, one or two or...

four. I don't know.

- You want some chicken or don't you?

- I want a kiss.

I want a big, juicy kiss.

Here's some chicken.

Great. Chicken.

It's good.

Have the girls been

in bed long?

Yeah, a little while.

Penny's was picking

on Patsy again.

I told her not to

and she got kind of mad at me.

- She did?

- Yeah, a little bit.

We started

a pool out at Rushmore today.

- Oh yeah?

- Yeah. It's crescent-shaped.

It's going to look wild.

These people,

they got a three- story house,

a porch out of "Gone With the Wind"

and everything.

It's beautiful.

Are you happy?

With the swimming pool thing, I mean.

Yeah, it's good.

It's not like the factory

but it's better than nothing.

I'm going to get to work.

You not just going to leave me here alone

gnawing on a cold chicken bone, are you?

If you like you can always heat it up,

but I thought you really loved cold food.

Why don't you just eat it cold?

Will you sing to me?

No, I have to go to work.

You know how much I love it

when you sing to me.

Please.

Just sing to me.

Hi.

Hi.

Bye...

Bye...

Hey, my buddy Penny.

I'm not going to be

at your birthday party,

but there's nothing I'd like more

in the whole, wide world.

I bet Grandma's made a special

birthday cake just for

you with your name on it

in big chocolate letters.

Penny, I want you to know

that the day that you were born

I held you in my arms

and that was the happiest day

in my whole life.

I was so happy

I couldn't even speak.

I just stroked your tiny little feet

and I cried with happiness.

Without you I could have never found out

that lions eat pancakes

or that the bed

could be a raft.

Try and look after Patsy, okay?

I know it's hard 'cause sometimes

she makes you mad and everything.

I know it's not easy being a big sister,

but I know that you can do it, okay?

Mommy sends you millions

and millions of kisses.

Happy birthday,

my darling little Patsy.

Now you're five!

I'll bet that Penny looks after you now.

I bet that she doesn't pick

on you anymore.

Honey, I don't want you to be sad

that I'm not at your birthday, okay?

Promise?

I remember your first birthday

really well, you know?

I remember how you started to cry

and you wouldn't stop because you didn't

like how we were singing "Happy Birthday".

Every time we started to sing,

you'd just scream and yell

because you didn't like

how we were singing.

Happy birthday, my little buddy.

Mommy loves you to bits.

Buddy, I want you to be happy.

I know sometimes

it's not easy 'cause

sometimes things happen

and people aren't always

like you want them to be.

Talk to your Dad

if there's things bothering you, okay?

He knows more

than you'd think, seriously,

if there's something bothering you

and you're not sure about something,

just ask him and he'll tell you.

Grandma knows a lot of things, too.

I really hope

she'll explain them to you.

Try and be patient with her, OK?

She is a good person, even if sometimes

it doesn't always seem that way...

None of the things she's always dreamed

about ever came true, you know?

Try and understand her.

Don't let her make you mad.

If you get a new Mom,

try and love her, okay?

Don't make life impossible for her

just out of some loyalty to me

or something like that.

Just I don't know...

I know it's not the same.

...and whatever happens,

you finish school,

even if you think it sucks,

and you don't know

if you can take it anymore,

you just finish school.

I'd like to be able to tell you

stuff about boys

and boyfriends and relationships

and that kind of stuff,

I think

I wouldn't be much help.

I was seventeen

when you were born, Penny,

exactly how old

you are right now.

You have to have faith in yourself.

You have to have faith

in your ability to do things,

to just make a go of it.

Lots of kisses and cuddles,

even though I know you're not

a small little thing anymore.

Ann, is something wrong?

What is it?

Is it that diet you're on?

How come you're throwing up?

You're not taking

those slimming pills, are you?

You want to know why I'm throwing up?

You really want to know?

I'm throwing up because

when I was eight years old

the girl who was supposed to be my best

friend told everyone I was a slut.

I'm throwing up 'cause

when I was fifteen years old

I didn't get invited to the only party

I ever wanted to go to in my entire life.

I'm throwing up because when

I was seventeen I had my first kid

and I had to grow up

overnight.

And I've got no more dreams.

Without dreams

you can't f***ing live.

I'm throwing up because since they put

my dad in jail I haven't seen him.

I don't have anything from him,

I don't even have

a single f***ing postcard.

And in all the commercials

everybody is so f***ing happy

and all day long my two little daughters

sing those stupid f***ing songs

from those stupid f***ing commercials.

If I beg you,

if I get down on my knees

to beg you...

please, don't give me the name

of that diet you're on.

I didn't wake you up, did I?

It's Ann.

Can I bring you back

your book now?

Yeah, right now.

Yeah, okay, I know where that is.

I should have given you

a raincoat. Come on in.

- It's got a bit wet.

- Don't worry about it.

What happened?

You didn't keep up the payments on your

furniture and they took it all away?

No.

Well, actually, I was

planning on getting

some furniture one day,

I just didn't really have the time.

Sorry, I'd offer you something,

but I don't have anything.

I don't even have any glasses.

Not even like a cookie or something?

Nothing.

If I knew you were coming,

I would have bought something.

I can live without cookies.

Who took

all your furniture?

Someone...

took it... yeah.

You don't want to get anymore

because you think she might come back?

You wanna sit down?

Thanks.

Are they okay?

What did you do in Alaska?

I'm a surveyor.

I survey land for building highways,

bridges and things like that.

Before that I was in

Chile.

And before that I was in

North Carolina,

and before that Halifax.

What are your daughters call?

Penny and Patsy.

Would you like to see a photograph?

Okay.

They look happy.

They look like you.

Do I look happy?

Not happy.

You look beautiful.

You look like your girls.

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