My Man Godfrey Page #4

It was very amusing.

Have you a handkerchief?

There's a spot on my shoe.

Would you see what you can do about it?

I could have you fired, you know?

But I like to see things wriggle.

When I get through with you,

you'll go back to your packing case

on the city dump and relish it.

People don't make a practice of pushing

Cornelia Bullock into ash piles.

I'll make your life so miser...

- Hello, Godfrey.

- Greetings, Irene.

- I like your new monkey suit.

- Thank you for picking it up.

- It fits very well for a hand-me-down.

- I'm more or less standard.

How do you like

my new pajamas?

I think they're very nice.

Thank you.

- I heard what you said to Godfrey.

- So what?

- So you leave him alone!

- Who's gonna make me leave him alone?

If you don't,

you'll get a good sock from me.

- Oh, the physical type.

- What I say goes.

Since when did you start

falling in love with butlers?

I'm not in love with him.

He's my protege.

Oh, your protege. That's why

you're picking out his suits for him.

Suppose Father hears about this. How

long do you think Godfrey will last?

Father isn't

going to hear about it.

You seem terribly sure

of everything.

If Father hears about Godfrey,

he's also going to hear about you

and that college boy.

I don't know

what you're talking about.

But if Father does hear about it, I'm

likely to do a little socking myself.

Little Red Riding Hood didn't have

enough charm to trap a wolf her own age,

so she falls in love with the butler

and lives happily ever after.

- If you know what I mean.

- I know, if you know what I mean.

- May I come in?

- You're in, aren't you?

Very interesting book.

The Greeks of the Middle Ages.

Oh, Irene would like that. You love

the Middle Ages, don't you, dear?

Ahh.

Oh, Carlo!

Who's giving the concert tonight?

- The great Kalininski.

- Oh, the pianist?

- No, cellist.

- What difference does it make?

Oh, it's so nice to see you two girls

having a pleasant chat.

Or is it a pleasant chat?

Well, well, well! Imagine the Bullocks

gathered together in one room.

- Don't forget Carlo.

- I'm not going to forget Carlo.

Don't bother about me.

I feel like one of the family.

Don't you go away.

You don't mind if I discuss a few family

matters, do you, Carlo, old boy?

- No, not at all.

- Oh, Alexander,

you're not going to bring up those

sordid business matters, I hope.

I've just been going over

last month's bills,

and you people have confused me

with the Treasury Department.

Don't start that again, Dad.

I don't mind giving the government

60% of what I make.

But I can't do it

when my family spends 50%!

Well, why should the government

get more money than your own family?

That's what I want to know.

Why should the government get more?

Well, that's just the way

they have of doing things.

Oh! Money, money, money!

The Frankenstein monster

that destroys souls!

Please don't say anything more

about it! You're upsetting Carlo!

We've got to come

to an understanding right now!

- Either Carlo is or I am.

- Am what?

Well, one of us has got to,

and that's all there is to it.

You're inebriated. You don't know

what you're talking about.

Who would know what they're talking

about, living with a bunch like this?

There's one thing I do know.

What this family needs is discipline.

I've been a pretty patient man.

But when people start riding

horses up the front steps...

and parking them in the library,

that's going a bit too far.

- Horses?

- Are you insinuating I rode a horse?

Maybe that wasn't a horse

I saw in the library.

I'm positive I didn't ride a horse.

I didn't have my riding costume on.

- Irene rode the horse up the steps.

- What horse?

Don't play innocent.

I begged you not to do it.

I didn't ride a horse!

But if I did ride a horse,

who broke those windows

on Fifth Avenue?

- What windows?

- You know what windows!

And how about that college sap?

Yah, yah, yah!

I don't care who broke the horse,

rode the window or yah, yah, yah'ed.

But this family's got to settle down!

Will you stop bellowing!

Look what you're doing to Carlo.

- Hang Carlo!

- Ohhh!

You've exhausted my patience!

- Did you make these?

- I helped.

- They must be wonderful.

- I'd like to help, if you'll let me.

- I'd feel honored.

You might as well face the situation.

I've lost a lot of money.

- You have?

- Yes, I have.

Maybe you left it

in your other suit.

If things keep on, it won't be long

till I don't have another suit.

Which ones are poisoned?

Thank you.

While we're on the subject, how about

this business of certain people...

picking up anybody they find on the city

dump and dragging them into the house?

- We might all be stabbed and robbed.

- Who's going to stab who?

We don't know a thing

about certain people.

Someone should speak to Irene

about picking up strays.

- What's a stray?

- You shut up!

- Me?

- No. Cornelia.

I will not shut up.

My life is precious to me.

- It won't be in a minute.

- Now, now, children.

Come, Carlo. Come and get

some nice hors d'oeuvre.

I think we should get our help

from employment agencies.

I don't know

but I agree with Cornelia.

What are you all talking about?

You upset Carlo,

and now you're upsetting Irene.

Don't you remember her

breakdown last summer?

I certainly do. That's why I'm not

paying any attention to this.

If Mother can sponsor Carlo,

why can't I sponsor Godfrey?

Godfrey knows I'm not being personal,

but none of us would like to wake up

some morning stabbed to death.

You mustn't

come between Irene and Godfrey.

He's the first thing she's shown any

affection for since her Pomeranian died.

Now, now, Irene.

You mustn't have a spell.

Carlo, quick, quick,

give me a sofa cushion. Here.

Come, darling, lift up

your head like a good girl.

There now, darling, don't cry.

Now, now, darling.

She's not having a spell.

That's old stuff.

Darling.

- What is all this nonsense?

- Will you be quiet!

You never did understand them.

Why don't you get a doctor?

- I don't want a doctor!

- Do you want an ice bag?

- I want to die!

- You mustn't do that.

She makes me ill.

Let's get out of here.

Carlo, do the gorilla for Irene.

It always amuses her.

- I'm not in the mood.

- Stop eating and get in the mood.

- Here.

- All right.

I'll do it,

but my heart won't be in it.

Irene, be a good girl

and sit up and look at Carlo.

You know it always amuses you.

Come on, quick.

Go ahead, go ahead!

Go on, Carlo. Quickly.

Look, Irene! Look at Carlo!

Isn't that lovely?

Oh, isn't that clever, Irene? Look!

Carlo, come down.

She can see you better.

She's starting to laugh.

Isn't he clever?

Carlo, come down

where Irene can see you.

She's starting to laugh.

Isn't that funny?

Oh, he's on the door. Look! Look!

He frightens me!

No, darling, you mustn't be frightened.

He's just playing.

Darling, look at Carlo.

- Look, darling, look. Isn't he clever?

- No!

Why don't you stop imitating

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