My Name Is Lenny Page #3

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I'm really sorry, Kevin.

I'm really sorry.

- This is not boxing.

- I know, I know.

Faster.

- You carry on.

- What's the point of that?

I'm knackered.

I'm not the one who's got to fight

a bunch of gypsies in the ring.

See, that's it, boy, right.

That's it, drop it.

Oh, this is f***ing bollocks.

F*** off!

Put them up, come on.

You run like a poof.

Have you got a fag?

All the way down, all the way down,

all the way down, that's it.

That's it! Alright, good boy...

Lenny, I never heard of him.

I am strong,

you know that, Paddy.

I've had my food, I am fed.

But full I win fair

and square, huh?

Bring him out.

Oh

- Here we go.

- What's the news, then?

Chipper has been

scoffing it down mum's caf.

- Oh yeah, what's he had?

- Two saveloys, three mash,

one steak dinner,

fried egg, bit of Spam

and two large chips and gravy.

Traveling light, then.

- Is that it or what?

- No.

I'll send him to hospital,

you can bet on that.

I take his f***ing head off his body,

simple as, Paddy.

Tizer, tea and five roll-ups.

Good lad.

Here you are, here's your guinea.

Now treat yourself, go on,

sling your hook.

So, listen.

Then, when you get in there,

I want you to punch him

as hard as you can

above the bollocks,

in the derby, here.

I guarantee you

he will spill his load.

Where are you?

Come on.

- Limber up, boy.

- Alright.

Where the f*** is he?

I'll make shite of him, he's only a pup.

There's no man

on two legs to beat me.

Alright, I'll catch up

with you in a second.

Come on, Lenny, you bollocks,

where are ya?

F***ing hell.

Knock a bag of shite out of you.

Get over here now,

I'll make shite of you.

F*** you.

Mmm.

Where are you?

You're not f***in' foolin' with me.

Get out here.

Come on, Lenny!

Len, you're supposed to

wait for the f***ing bell.

- What bell?

- This f***ing bell. What's the matter?

Alright! Alright!

Alright!

I want my f***ing money!

Oh, I feel like a cup of tea.

The gyppos are still here, boy.

What do they want?

Bad news, Len.

The party's over.

The chaps are here.

They're saying that they want

the purse back.

You should have waited

for the bell.

Right.

You tell them that

the party ain't started, John John!

I came here to fight

and get paid for a fight

and now I've had my fight

and I've been paid for that fight.

So you tell them to f*** off!

Well, what do they say?

Did you tell them what I said?

Well, I didn't need to.

We can all f***ing hear you.

Well, what do they say?

Same as, boy.

They want their purse back and they

are quite happy to take it outside.

Well, you tell them I will

take it inside, alright?

Oh, they are getting a bit flamboyant.

- Are you decent, Len?

- F***ing hell! Hold on.

Alright, let them in.

So you want

your f***ing money back, do you?

Well, let me pay

you cash in hand!

Which one, you or you?

Come here! F*** off!

F*** off back to Dublin,

you slags!

That's mine, I think.

Yeah, I think you've earned it, Len.

- Bootnose.

- Here, you don't want a rematch, do you?

I thought not.

You see what you

f***ing done there, Bootnose?

- What?

- My tea has gone cold.

I'm the Guv'nor.

You f***ing slag! Get up!

Leave him!

I'm making him a man!

Nine, ten.

He loves you, Val.

He lives for you,

he lives to make you happy.

Make you safe.

You see, there is nothing in the world

that he cares about more than you, Val.

But this Shaw thing

gives a man purpose,

make you complete.

Look, I don't know what happened

when Lenny was a little boy,

I don't know what is

going on in his head.

I don't know what...

I don't know what you're

thinking, boy.

But when you are in that ring

and the ref holds up your hand

and those people cheer,

it wipes the slate clean, see.

He loves you, Val.

Alright?

Alright.

How are you Mrs A?

What you done to your hands?

Oh, I fell over on someone's chin.

How much for them?

- Two bob a pop, same as always.

- How much for the lot of them?

Are you going to eat them all at once?

I'm a light eater.

As soon as it's light,

I start eating.

Mmm, are you celebrating?

I just fought a hundred gyppos,

won all Val's money back.

Are you spending

your wife's money?

That's a liberty, boy.

I ain't taken a liberty in my whole life.

You take care, Mrs A.

Give my love to Val, won't ya?

Alright, Lenny?

I heard you got done by Shaw.

- He's fighting again.

- Go on, Lenny, give us a cake.

Roy Shaw is nothing. Here.

There he is.

You alright?

Yeah. No, he's a...

- Lenny.

- Alright, Len.

Listen, keep shtum about

Davey's old lady, would you?

Why, what's the SP on that?

His wife's only run off with

the handsome geezer off the cockle stall.

Well, don't you worry.

Your secret is safe with me, boy.

Hey, how are you doing, Lenny?

Alright.

Ooh.

You don't mind, do you?

In that case, I'll have another.

Ah.

Hello, ladies.

Hi, Lenny.

Oi, oi, Trixie.

Hello, Trixie!

You alright?

Alright, Lenny?

Thank you, Ethel.

You alright?

You having a good time?

What?

Just checking.

Davey!

Oh, I just spoke to Terry.

He told me the bad news,

commiserations.

What are you talking about, Len?

What, you mean you don't know?

Well, brace yourself, son.

I hear your wife is having it

off with the cockle man

and they are off to live in

Lanzarote Tuesday week.

Do what? Lanzarote?

Lanzarote.

Bye, Davey.

I'll have one more, Ethel.

Mmm.

Mickey!

You alright, Len?

Alright.

You alright on the booze

there, Len, are you?

Heard you had a fight coming up.

What was that, Mickey?

What do you mean, Mickey?

What do you mean?

No, no, no.

No, what do you mean, Mickey?

Shut your f***ing mouth, Mickey!

I didn't say anything.

Are you f***ing mad, Mick?

I'm sorry, mate.

Sit down, boy.

Listen, we're having

a nice night out.

Ethel, we'll have

two light ales, babe.

You like a nice light ale,

did you boy, eh?

Take this over

to Trixie, will you?

Who wants to see my party trick? Hey?

You want to see me do five?

F*** it, I'll do five.

Ethel, line up five more, please.

Oh, Lenny, please. No.

Ethel, five.

You want to hear a joke

while we're waiting?

Me wife just left me.

She was cross-eyed.

I'm sure she was

seeing someone else.

What a f***ing performance!

- Look what he's done.

- You're welcome.

That's enough, Lenny.

What?

You're scaring the ladies.

Oh, right. I see.

Well, I am very sorry.

I need a slash.

F***ing...

He's ruined everything.

Who wants a drink, then?

Hey, who wants a...

Where did everybody go?

Oh, I found this in there, Ethel.

All clogged up.

- Reenie's going to kill me, Len.

- No.

I'm gonna have a word with him.

He's a f***ing lunatic!

Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, slow down,

alright? Leave it to me.

A lunatic?

So, are you gonna

slap her ass for that or am I?

Leave it, Lenny.

- She means well.

- Oh, she means well.

Don't be a burglar all your life,

Carrots, take a night off, hey?

I'm taking the whole

f***ing week off, boy.

I done you and your old dear

a favour, didn't I?

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