My Name Is Lenny Page #5

---

No.

I can honestly say, boy,

you are not a liberty-taker.

All the fights in all my life, I never...

I never once took a liberty.

Except for one, you know...

You had your back turned.

You were walking away, weren't you?

- Yeah.

- He wouldn't leave it.

Trappy f***er.

I'm in the Broadway playing snooker

and McLean's here.

- Your break.

- Alright.

I've got to train hard now, John John,

I've got to be a winner, alright?

I promised Valerie, ain't I?

I can't let my nut go wonky again.

Yeah, well, none of us want that.

Ignore them, boy. We're professionals.

We only fight when we get paid.

Ooh!

Well, look at all you mugs.

I'm here with my cousin

trying to make a bit of

a change in my life.

See, I'm training now,

I've dropped the booze out,

I'm strong and I'm getting fitter.

Now, I don't know who you are

but you're just the same

as all the other little Jack the Lads

trying to make your name

on the strength of me.

Ordinarily, I would've broken

your jaw in four places by now,

but I'm just trying to enjoy

a little snooker with my pal.

Now, I'm gonna take my shot

and if you're still here when I turn around

I'm gonna break every f***ing bone

in your body.

Lenny!

I don't like violence, John John.

I hate it, in fact. I detest it,

but the problem with being nice

is that slags like these,

they take it as a weakness.

Violence is all you listen to, isn't it?

Trevor.

Back in two minutes, John John.

Trevor.

Quiet gentleman's sport.

Where are you going, then?

Lenny, it wasn't me, it wasn't me.

You f***ing... F***ing fag.

You alright, old fella?

- All good, Lenny.

- Alright.

I f***ing hate Geordies.

What are you looking at?

- It's your shot.

- Oh, good.

Ooh, looks like

you've snookered me, John John.

Oh, bollocks.

What?

Oh, f***, these were my favourite strides.

I think you're going to need

a trip to the dry cleaners.

Well, go ahead. Pull it out, John John.

Come on.

F***ing hell, are you sure?

Oh.

Ow, it's not that bad.

I don't know, Len, it's a bit dirty.

Yeah, it will be alright.

My shot, is it?

Mrs McLean, the gangrene has spread

and we'll be forced to operate.

How do you mean?

To amputate, Mrs McLean.

There is no choice in the matter,

you do understand?

If we don't amputate your husband's leg,

he will die.

He wouldn't want to live like that.

Oh, Christ.

Alright, Val?

Yeah.

So, what are they saying,

then, the doctors?

They stitched it up and it's got infected.

It was septicaemia.

Now it's getting worse.

Worse, what do you mean, worse?

We are doing all we can.

All you can? He's in a coma.

It was a penknife, it was about this big.

No, that ain't right.

Len.

Lenny, wake up, son. Come on.

Now stop showing off, I've had your suit

cleaned and all, come on.

There's no choice in the matter,

we need to act now, I need your signature.

Mrs McLean, I need you to understand that

if we don't amputate your husband's leg,

he Will die.

Nah He wouldn't want to live like that.

He's gonna have to die.

I can't bear this, Lenny,

I need you.

We're a team, remember?

Please, Lenny,

Please come back to me.

I can't live without you.

Please come back to me.

Len, I've never heard of him.

Look at all you mugs.

Wild thing

You make my heart sing

You make everything groovy

Wild thing

Wild thing

I think I love you

But I wanna know for sure

Come on and hold me tight

I love you

Wild thing

You make my heart sing

You make everything groovy

Well done.

I made you, Lenny. I made you what you are.

I'm proud of you, boy.

You mad bastard.

Where is he? Where's my f***ing husband?

Calm down, please.

Don't tell me to f***ing calm down,

where is he?

Listen, he checked himself out.

We tried to keep him here,

but when we dressed his wounds

the gangrene had healed.

We've never seen

anything like it, Mrs McLean.

Oh, my Lord.

So you're back, then?

Yeah.

For good?

Yeah.

I thought I'd lost you, Len.

Nah.

You ain't getting shot of me that easy.

You're my one and only, Val.

I know.

Bit of history here, boy.

Freddie.

Hey!

Have you still got my picture on your wall?

Look who I brought to darken your door.

He's going to get fit, ain't ya?

He's going to train like a pro.

I'm gonna kill Roy Shaw.

That's the spirit.

Yeah, alright. Box on.

Come on, you girls.

Shouldn't be too tight.

You want to look after your hands.

Your hands are your weapons.

Gloves should feel like a second skin.

You make your hands into a box

and that's why they calls it boxing.

Well, that is fascinating, John John.

Tell me more.

You know the difference

between me and you?

Yeah, I'm handsome.

About four stone.

You punch someone, they are spark out,

I punch someone,

they are going to hit me again.

Now Pretty Boy Shaw,

he's no f***ing dolly mixture.

He's an ex-pro.

So you, you cheeky lump,

are going to have to learn to box.

Give us a cuddle.

Come on, give us a cuddle.

You're sticking your chin out

past your guard.

What is the point of having it there

if you are going to stick your chin

out past your fist? It's here.

See this apple.

I ain't f***ing hungry, John John.

I want you to put this

apple under your chin.

Go on.

That's it, that's it. F***.

You need to hold it in,

hold it in with your right hand,

There, you're covering the button.

Box on.

You're gonna throw that right.

You better put your chin right down,

otherwise you're going to lose your apple.

Go on, Lenny. Get it down.

Throw a right,

throw a right, two rounds.

Oh, that's it.

Time.

Go on, get a drink of water.

And again.

Oh, feel that.

Slip it, slip it.

Slip it, slip it, that's it.

That's it, don't lean in, don't lean in,

You're spinning.

What you're doing is leaning in.

Time, time, time!

Time!

Oi, gloves down.

Morning Len, you're up

early, ain't you, son?

You alright?

What you got for me, then?

What's she worth to you?

I tell you what, it's only worth a carpet,

but today's your lucky day, Len.

I'll give you a monkey for it.

I'll tell you what.

That's for you, alright?

Good boy.

Charlie, throw a bucket of water over it

and stick it on the front

for a bag of sand, will you?

Here he is.

Alright.

Just lemonade please, Ethel.

Lemonade?

It's, er... For the damage I caused.

No, you're alright, son,

I don't hold grudges.

You take that, Reenie.

My nut's clear now.

I took some liberties in here.

Oh, where's... Where's Douglas Haig, then?

I had him stuffed, Lenny.

He passed on Friday week.

Natural causes.

Reenie found him in bed

with Bobbie Sunlight

hanging out the back of him.

Oh, nothing untoward, mind.

That's too bad.

Why are you wobbling like an old chimp?

I am in training again, Leslie.

Oh?

Worth a flutter, are you?

Back your life on me, Leslie,

back your life on me.

Oh, there's not a lot of life left to back.

Leslie, you've been

saying that for a decade.

You want to go and make

it right with Carrots.

Well.

I suppose it was an apology.

Sort of.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes