My Science Project Page #5

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This is no time to be sittin' around

sucking snot! After you, lunch meat!

No! We'll never come back!

Somethin' tells me

we ain't in Kansas no more, Toto!

See? I told you guys.

The warp's expanding.

Look, it's people from the past

and the future.

And we're all here together!

This is like a...

This is like a crossroads of time and space.

- Yeah.

- Wow!

I don't believe this. Do you, Mike?

- No.

- Unreal!

Radar her!

- Vinnie, keep it under control, all right?

- Danger makes great sex!

- I'll check you guys out later.

- Come on!

These are optical delusions like ghosts,

so it's cool. Here comes Latello!

- Help me!

- Vince!

Son of a b*tch!

What do you call this, wawa?

Actually, I think you'd call it

a Neanderthal man.

I don't care what country he's from.

One shot and he's down. I don't believe this.

- I could be watching "Magnum".

- Stop whining!

Whining?

Barney Rubble just tried to flame me out.

- You guys, wait up!

- Vinnie, come on!

Hey, scope that f*ggot in the tutu!

- Paisano!

- We're friends, all right? Friends.

- What's he saying?

- He's going to kick our ass.

Come on!

- He's dead.

- He's been dead a billion years.

Hey, Mike, you OK?

- Yeah.

- Come on, Sherman. Help him up.

- Can you walk?

- Yeah.

Legs! Legs!

- Are we in trouble!

- The warp's getting stronger.

Get down.

Get down!

- Exchange students!

- Latello!

Come on.

- Vietcong.

- Sh!

- We're out.

- What?

- It's empty.

- Give me that.

- Back me up, all right?

- You got it.

- Get their guns! Come on!

- Huh? That's OK. Don't get up!

Optical delusions, Latello!

- Thanks. I owe you one.

- Yeah. Take it easy.

Ciao!

Let's rest here for a while.

Hey, round boy.

How d'you learn to fight so good?

Cliff Notes, Latello!

How do you work these things?

Well, according to

"Stoddard's Guide To Modern Weaponry",

you eject the spent clip,

you pop the fresh clip into the chamber...

.. pull back the cocking mechanism

and you're ready to rock 'n' roll!

What he say?

Come on.

Go ahead! Make my semester!

Very smart, Latello!

Latello!

Come on. Put it down.

Would you put it down?

- Who are these guys?

- Mutants from after the apocalypse.

Let's get outta here.

- Come on!

- I don't need this.

We're gonna get flamed

by something that don't exist yet!

Not in our dimension, but with relativity...

- Relativity? Shut up, you fat toad.

- Come on, Vinnie!

- If it weren't for him we wouldn't be here.

- Look, up the stairs and we're at the lab.

- Yeah. Or on flippin' Pluto!

Come on!

- What is that?

- I don't know.

My ears are ringing like the "Gong Show".

I can't hear nothing.

And I don't see that neither.

- Sherman?

- Got me, Mike.

Terrific! The answer man is stumped.

This plant has been extinct

for 60 million years.

Yeah? Well, I ain't never seen one before.

- You gonna make it, Vinnie?

- Me? I'm so scared I'm thinkin' about God.

It's God-funking-zilla!

Get down.

- I just don't believe it.

- I just want to be home watchin' cartoons.

Stop talking, OK?

- Sherman!

- A**hole!

It's my allergies.

I've had it. I'm goin' in. Back me up!

- Vinnie! What are you doing?

- Come and get me!

Latello!

Suck lead, lizard!

Vinnie!

No! What?

Vinnie!

Vinnie!

- You OK?

- Yeah. I think so.

- Where's Vinnie?

- I don't know.

- Vinnie!

- Oh, man!

Oh, man. Mikey!

- Oh, my arm.

- Come on. I got ya.

- 17 years of TV down the drain.

- Yeah. I got ya. Come on.

- There you go.

- My leg!

All right! The cheque's in the mail!

Let's go!

One question, what now?

We get Ellie and get outta here. Let's go!

What are you doin'? Let's go! Ready?

Ready!

Hit the dirt!

- Cover me.

- Don't get too close to the gizmo, Mike.

Ellie!

- He's been sucked up.

- Shut up. You're making me nuts.

You're making me crazy!

Ellie?

Ellie?

- Look, he's got her, Sherman.

- He's got her!

- Is she OK?

- She don't look too good, Sherman.

Ellie?

- Ellie, I'm so sorry. If I only knew...

- OK, Sherman.

- Can you walk?

- The question is, can you run?

Yeah. Yeah, I can.

OK. Let's go. Come on.

Yeah. Fine.

- We got company.

- Who is it?

- It ain't the Brady Bunch!

- We're not home!

I gotta stop it. Take my gun.

- Sherman.

- Michael!

Ellie, get back!

- Michael!

- Ellie, get back here! Ellie!

He's gone, I know. Michael!

Michael!

Oh, no!

Michael!

Michael!

No.

- He's gone.

- Mike?

Mike! He's back!

Michael.

Michael, are you OK?

Yeah. I think so.

Are you?

I am now!

Mikey, this is no time for romance here.

Scaramouche! Let's go!

You thought you heard what?

Watch out.

Come on, clear out of here. It's dangerous.

Keep moving. Stand back.

You know, Sherman? You're all right.

For a wimp virgin, I mean.

Coming from a greaseball like you,

I take that as a real compliment.

Listen.

No one says nothin' about this. OK?

Yeah, OK.

All right.

- OK, kids. Get outta here.

- Easy, easy. I'm comin'!

- So it's out, right?

- Hell, no! We won't go!

Hell, no! We won't go! Chicago!

- Mr Roberts?

- Bob?

Flower-power children,

Beatle concerts, anti-war rallies.

I'll be dipped in sh*t!

- What happened?

- I was blasting through on a tour of the '60s.

I didn't know what even to say, man!

I mean tripping trip, man!

- What's your name, cowboy?

- Robert Roberts esquire to you, honky!

That a fact? Well, Miss Esquire,

where the hell have you been?

Woodstock - oinker!

- Woodstock?

- What's Woodstock?

- OK, Captain Kirk.

- It's not Boston Pops!

- You got an A in your science project.

- I do?

On one condition. Get rid of the gizmo.

The world is not ready for space and time.

It's only for such rare individuals as myself.

And the future is a groove, man!

I made sure of that. It's a funky high!

- Get in the car.

- Easy on the fringe, Kojak!

We're outta gas.

Well, it's lucky we're close to town.

I mean, we can walk it.

Wait a second, Michael.

If we walked into town,

the world would know that your car broke...

It's just a car.

Right?

Right.

What are you looking at?

Girls, what's for lunch?

Hey, girls! Boola! Boola!

- Dykes.

- You little weasel!

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