My Son John Page #3

one of those in a little box.

In a little box.

Did I miss out on something?

Oh, mother.

Father still has

his sense of humor.

You still teaching

at the little red

schoolhouse, father?

Oh, yes, yes.

Still teaching them

the same down to earth...

- fundamentals.

- That's right.

- Dan's been

- working on his speech

for the legion.

He's running for commander

of the post.

Maybe he could help you

with it, huh?

- Who?

- John.

Well, I'd love to, father.

You know, add some

little colorful touches.

Put some bows on it.

Why do I want some bows

on it for?

Oh, well, father,

she doesn't mean that.

I think mother means

that maybe you'd like

to take advantage

of your investment in me.

What's your thesis, father?

What's your subject?

Uh, my subject is,

"where are we headed?"

Hm, well,

where are we headed, father?

That's what

I'd like to know, son.

Well, how can you tell them

what you'd like to know?

I've got it.

You've got what?

What do you mean?

That's what I'd like to know

is what you mean, father.

Where are we headed?

I know where we're headed.

Well, good.

So far, you haven't

said anything yet

that's gonna get you any votes.

But don't worry, I've got it.

It's all here,

it's packed with dynamite.

Well, it sure is loud.

Well, it might be loud, yes.

You oughta come over,

it'd do ya good.

Here's some of the singing

that we do at the finish

because we've got

one particular song

that I'd love to walk

into a commie meeting

300 strong and

give it to 'em full blast.

If you don't like

your Uncle Sammy

then go back to your home

o'er the sea

to the land

from whence you came

no matter what its name

but don't be ungrateful

to me

if you don't like the stars

in old glory

if you don't like the red,

white, and blue

then don't act like

the cur in the story

don't bite the hand

that's feeding you

Oh, father.

Rousing words.

Great, father.

Oh, I'll read your speech.

Oh, gosh,

I've got to learn this.

We've gotta do it together.

If you don't like

your Uncle Sammy

then go back to the land

o'er the sea

I didn't get your name,

go back from where you came

and don't be ungrateful

to me

Mother!

I thought you might

like a snack.

Oh, you needn't of done that.

I thought you might

get hungry, stranger.

You still eat, don't you?

You're working

on father's speech?

Mmhmm.

Making a few suggestions.

Good.

I want to talk to you.

Tell me all about yourself,

tell me about everything.

Can't we talk just a little bit,

like old times.

Of course, mother, why not?

I don't know.

But somehow I just

have a feeling

that we're not as close

this time

as we always were.

What's happened to my boy?

Well, he's grown up, mother.

Boys do grow up, you know?

You're aware of

the silver cord, mother.

It must be severed, you know.

Yes, I was there at the time.

Oh, John, let's

you and me talk sense.

Silver cord,

fiddle-Dee-Dee.

I...

I don't want to intrude,

but we don't have to be

strangers either, do we?

Oh, no, mother.

All right then.

Have you got a girl?

Well, sentimentalizing

over the biological urge

isn't really a guarantee

of human happiness, dear.

Ah.

Now you've got me as mixed up

as you had your father.

Oh, and speaking of...

you were rude to your father

tonight, John.

No, I think you're wrong.

Oh, no, I know your face, John.

I've looked into it

too many years

not to know it.

I know every line.

Every curve of that mouth.

Been stealing

any pennies lately?

You're not going back that far,

are you?

You haven't forgotten!

Oh, no.

Oh, how everybody

thought you were so sick

when you didn't go to school.

I knew what was bothering you.

I brought you right

into this room, didn't I?

- Right here.

- Yes

and I said,

"it's all right, John,

I was saving them

for you anyway."

And then those eyes

filled with tears.

And all of a sudden

you weren't sick anymore.

You've got to begin

to accept the fact

that I'm no longer a baby.

You've got to get used

to the idea.

You were the gurglingest baby.

Well, there you go again.

Ah, I used to put you on my knee

and bounce you up and down.

Up and down.

Teedle-deedle

dumplin'

my son John went to bed

with his stockings on.

One shoe off and one shoe on,

teedle-deedle

dumplin'

my son John.

And you said,

"do it again, mommy,

do it again, mommy."

Teedle-deedle

dumplin'

my son John went to bed...

I got tired on this knee,

and I put you on this knee.

Teedle-deedle

dumplin'

my son John went to bed

with his stockings...

you used to wear me out.

Do it again, mother.

You're joking.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

Oh, I can...

Well, that's the same look

that you had when

you were talking

to your father.

- Oh, mother.

- Oh, no.

I don't understand.

No, John.

Not with me.

It's me.

You remember me?

Oh...

When it gets to the stage

where you're making fun

of a mother's love...

oh, no,mother.

II... I guess I'm just like

all the other mothers.

I can't take it.

Making fun of my lullaby.

Spoiling my memories.

Oh, but I didn't

mean it, mother.

Oh, yes, you did.

With all my heart, I didn't.

Well, then don't...

don't act "like the cur

in the story."

Don't bite the hand

that's feeding you

You're laughing.

I made you...

well, you can still

do that, can't you?

Well, if it takes my tears

to make you laugh,

that's all right, I don't care.

Well, if it isn't

the nice young man

with the bent Fender.

That's right.

Did you come to laugh about it?

Well, no, I, uh, the, uh...

I was playing cowboy and Indians

with the neighbor's child

and trying to do my work

at the same time.

What do you want?

Oh, oh, well,

it's about that, um,

the... the bent Fender,

you know?

It came to a little more

than I expected.

It, uh, was, um, $18...

don't choke over it.

No, I'm not...

and 70 odd cents.

I see, that's why you're here.

Well, you know, after all,

$18 is $18.

Oh, I know, I know,

with taxes the way they are.

Well, yes, you have to, uh,

make a lot more than...

Well.

Your attitude's

a little different

from what it was yesterday.

Well, yesterday, I didn't...

well, yesterday you just said,

"forget all about it."

Well, I, uh...

Would pick a time when

my husband wasn't here.

What makes you presume

that it was our fault?

Well, I think that's a

rather natural presumption.

Oh, yes, Sunday Christian, huh?

Well, I... I mean,

I'm just drivin' along

minding my business when, boom,

it's a crash and I look back

and then at you.

Whose fault

do you think that was?

Why didn't you look

where you were going?

Look?

You hit me from behind.

After all, I haven't got eyes

in my rear.

No?

Well, I... I mean,

I, you know,

I can't... I can't see

what's in back of me.

I thought that's what you meant.

You meet some peculiar

people nowadays.

A lot of pettiness in the world,

don't you think so?

Lady, there's nothing

petty about $18.

It was the 70 odd cents

that made me...

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