Mystery of the Wax Museum

Well, my friend,

this is an unexpected pleasure.

- Come in.

- Thank you.

How do you do?

I wouldn't disturb you,

but the friend I spoke to you about...

is leaving town tomorrow to supervise

some new excavations in Egypt.

He was most anxious

to see your collection before going away.

- May I present Mr. Galatalin.

- Why, this is a great pleasure.

I've heard so much about you.

How do you do?

Follow me, gentlemen.

My children would become conceited

that so distinguished a critic...

has thought them

interesting enough to review.

Splendid.

Joan of Arc. Beautiful.

It's a pity to race through

such an exhibition.

And here is Voltaire.

One might almost expect him to speak.

I wonder what he'd say

after all these years.

You would be astonished.

He is more difficult now, to those

in authority, than even the records show.

He is a very stubborn person, I assure you.

- Stubborn?

- Unbelievably.

For days I argued with this fellow...

before getting him just as I wanted.

But always, I triumphed.

And few people triumphed

over Monsieur Voltaire.

And here, gentlemen....

Here is something that pleases me...

although of no historic importance.

It was done because

I love to model children.

Note, gentlemen,

the line of the shoulder and--

You have no right to hide such genius

in a side-street museum.

You are very gracious.

These things have some merit,

I suspect, but this....

Will you come this way,

gentlemen, please?

This, I'm convinced, is fine.

- Marie Antoinette?

- Yes, sir.

Beautiful composition.

Even those delicate veins

and the texture of that flesh.

I never saw anything more exquisite.

But, tell me, where did you begin

to model in wax?

In my native country, at first, as a hobby.

- He has a great reputation as a sculptor.

- You are very kind, sir.

However, I was commissioned

to come to England...

and with the completion of my work,

I turned my mind to these...

because it seemed to satisfy me more.

I felt I could reproduce the warmth

and flesh and blood of life...

far more better in wax than in cold stone.

If you will grant me the privilege...

I'd like to submit your work

to the Royal Academy when I get back.

Royal--

You will have won

the undying gratitude of all of us.

Is that not so, Marie Antoinette?

I regret that I have not the time

to give to your exhibition now...

but I'll worry you more when I get back.

It will always afford me

the greatest pleasure to welcome you.

I must apologize again for coming

and disturbing you at this late hour.

It was a great pleasure, I assure you.

- Good night, sir.

- Good night.

- And I'm very grateful to you.

- Not at all.

Thank you for your visit

and your encouragement.

- Good night, lvan.

- Good night.

My masterpiece, my Marie Antoinette.

You heard what this man,

who is very celebrated, said of you?

Yes, of course. You would say that.

You always told me so, of course.

Hello, there!

Hello.

What are you doing here so late?

I came for some books. I'm trying

to straighten out the accounts.

I don't hope to impress you

but we haven't a farthing.

That is unfortunate.

You're right, it's unfortunate.

15,000 it's cost me,

and you say it's unfortunate...

as though I spilled soup on my vest.

Your money may be very well invested,

one never knows.

Something important may come of all this.

Something has got to come of all this.

- The rent on this place isn't paid.

- ls that a fact?

No, I'm lying to amuse myself.

Now, look here. I have an idea

that will get us out of all this.

You and I have absolutely no money,

but we have got this.

- Fire insurance.

- Yes, insurance. That's our way out.

You know that a fire in this place

will give us 10,000?

A fire?

Is this your idea of humor, my friend?

I want the money back

that I've thrown into this rubbish heap.

You're asking to burn these people?

- You are asking to destroy all--

- I'm not asking you.

- I'm telling you.

- You think I'll permit this?

You've got to permit it.

Whose fault is it

if people don't come here?

Yours. All this artistic nonsense.

The museum at Walston Lane

does well enough.

And why? Because they have

Jack the Ripper, Burke and Hare...

the Mad Butcher...

the Demon Barber of Fleet Street,

things that people pay to see!

And they are welcome to them.

To perpetuate such scoundrels

is to celebrate their crimes.

What do think I'm in this for?

A match. A cigar stub, even...

and you and I have 10,000

to divide between us.

You are insane.

No, I'm not insane. Not at all.

Let me show you

how easily it can be done.

Wait, you!

Anything new, Doc?

Nothing we didn't tell you this afternoon.

The coroner confirmed our opinion.

It was suicide.

Gee, that'll make a swell story. Come on.

Hello, is that you, Tim?

I'm sorry, but I've got to have that tonight.

I've got to have it.

No, I tell you, I need it right away.

Who's on the gate down there?

Joe? Then you can get it out, all right.

I'll send a truck right down there.

The harness bull's okay.

I straightened it out this afternoon.

New Year's Eve ain't what it used to be.

This is only the second one tonight.

Times sure are tough.

What happened to this one?

Husband slapped her full of lumps.

Said she talked too much.

What's that?

Embalming fluid. It makes them jump.

Ain't that just like a woman?

Always has to have the last word.

As I live and breath

and wear spats, the prince.

You've been doing experiments

with Scotch and soda again?

Where did you get that news item?

From a little bird?

Have a pleasant vacation?

Charming. More delightful people crippled.

That's fine.

Consider yourself crippled financially.

See if you can jar your friends loose

for enough to eat.

Meaning what?

You're a sure bet

to place in the bread line.

There's no room on this rag

for the purely ornamental.

You're easy on the eyes

and pretty conceited about it.

Is mama's dumpling getting tough?

I'm through clowning, Florence.

You're all washed up. Get out!

What do you mean? It's New Year's!

We still get out a newspaper.

Ever thought of that?

- ls it my fault if nothing happens?

- What do you mean, nothing happens?

Look down there!

Out of that insane mob,

you say nothing happens?

There's a story

in every person down there.

Do I circulate among them and say

"Would you tell me the story of your life?"

Getting newspaper stories

is none of our business.

You're through. Get out.

Go on, get out.

You're fired unless you bring a story

for the next edition!

Even if it's only

a new recipe for spaghetti!

I thought I told you to keep out of here.

I won't bother you, but I'm all in.

My nerves are all shot.

Your nerves aren't the only things

that'll be shot.

You've been smoking again.

Give him a bag.

Thanks.

Come on.

And understand this...

you get nothing

until you show me something.

The next time you talk

out of turn you'll have bad luck.

- Understand?

- Thanks.

Happy New Year!

Hey, Miss Dempsey.

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