Nacho Libre

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Nacho! Nacho!

Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!

For you.

One for you.

For you.

One for you.

One for you.

How come we can't ever have

just, like, a salad?

Be grateful, Juan Pablo.

Today is especially delicious.

Orphans, smile and be happy,

for God has blessed us

with a new teacher.

She hails from

the Oaxaca Parish Convent

of the Immaculate Heart

Sisters Lady Mountains

of Guadalupe.

Sister Encarnacin.

Thank you, Brother.

Children, today I want to tell you

a story about Isabel.

Okay, new game.

-Go get it!

-Hey, that's my ball!

Sister.

I'm Ignacio.

God be with you, Ignacio.

Anyways,

I was wondering

if you would like to join me

in my quarters this night for some toast.

Look alive!

There is a man sick with influenza.

I need for you to pay him a visit, huh?

-But the sister and I...

-You are always complaining

of never having priestly duties.

Here is your big duty, huh?

Go now,

so that Sister and I may talk

of holy things.

I like your cow.

Where is he?

Holy Father, please receive this man

to your kingdom.

Thank you for coming here today.

This man lived a good life.

He had a wonderful woman,

a lush garden,

and a collection

of Russian nesting dolls.

May he rest in peace.

Okay.

Hey!

Ramses...

NEW WRESTLERS TOURNAMEN

GRAND PRIZE $200

ENTER TODAY:

Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!

Okay.

How's it going?

It's very late, Ignacio.

Give me a second.

Good toast.

So,

everyone calls you gero.

My mother was a Lutheran missionary

from Scandinavia

and my father, a deacon from Mexico.

They tried to convert each other,

but they got married instead.

And then they died.

So anyways, let's get down

to the nitty-gritty.

Tell me,

who is this Encarnacin?

Well,

my favorite color is light tan.

My favorite animal is puppies.

I like serving the Lord.

Hiking.

Play volleyball.

You gotta be kidding me.

Everything you just said

is my favorite thing to do

every day.

So, you enjoy yourself here

at the Brotherhood?

The children, I love the children.

They are my heart.

But to tell you the truth,

the brothers make me cook stew

and stuff all day,

but they don't give me money

for fresh ingredients.

And they don't think I know a buttload

of crap about the Gospel, but I do.

Okay?

Today, I saw a man in town.

People were throwing daisies at him

and giving him goodies.

Sometimes I would like

that kind of respect.

Who was this man?

Well, to tell you the truth,

he was a luchador.

Wrestling is ungodly, Ignacio.

People cheer for him,

but he is a false idol.

Whatever.

Be patient, Brother.

This, too, shall pass.

What is this?

Leftovers.

Enjoy.

There is no flavor.

There are no spices.

Where are the chips?

Somebody stole them.

Did you not tell them

that they were the Lord's chips?

I was trying to...

-You are useless, Ignacio.

-Silence, Brothers.

This is the worst lunch I ever had.

Your only job is to cook.

Do you not realize

I have had diarrhea since Easters?

Okay.

Maybe I am not meant for these duties.

Cooking duty. Dead guy duty.

Maybe it's time for me

to get a better duty.

I think your food is good.

I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny,

and I will have my glory day

in the hot sun.

Okay?

See you.

Hey! Listen to me! Hey!

Mucho take it easy. I need your help.

Take out the legs!

Listen to me!

Today, I have the chance of a lifetime,

but first I need a man.

Get off me!

Don't you see?

Your skills plus my skills

in the ring, tag team.

You're crazy!

Aren't you tired

of getting dirt kicked in your face?

I am!

Don't you want a little taste of the glory?

See what it tastes like?

No!

lf we win, we get 200 pesos!

Chancho!

Chancho!

Chancho, I need to borrow

some sweats.

Are you leaving us?

No, Chancho, I would never leave you.

I just need to borrow some sweats.

NEW WRESTLERS TOURNAMEN

His hair. We bet his hair.

What?

You can take the Stallion.

I'll take the Pony.

I can't wrestle him.

But you are tall and fast like a gazelle.

You can do it.

Pray to the Lord for strength.

I don't believe in God,

I believe in science.

You have not been baptized?

Hey. How you doing?

He's good.

Hello!

I'm talking to you. I will come.

Save me a piece of that corn.

Save me a piece of that corn for later.

Hey. Take it easy.

Come on, Esqueleto!

Okay.

No problem. We are dancing.

That didn't hurt!

And then I disappear!

Taste it. Yes! I'm going to pull you.

The shoe!

Anaconda squeeze.

Okay.

Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!

Semental! Semental!

Semental! Semental!

Those guys were

a couple of wussies, huh?

They scalped my hairs, okay?

-I look hideous.

-Come on, baby.

And you gave them permission

to hurt me like this.

But I couldn't have anybody see

my face, Steven, come on.

Tonight,

I felt something deep inside me,

I've never felt before.

Do you remember that one time

when everyone was shouting my name

and I used my strength

to rip my blouse?

Yeah.

And I saw them

knock you unconscious, all right?

What's this?

It's money. What did you think?

But we lost.

We all get a piece.

Listen,

the people, they like you guys.

Come back next week,

and I will get another fight for you.

Chancho.

When you are a man

sometimes you wear stretchy pants

in your room.

It's for fun.

Don't worry. I won't tell nobody.

I'm a little concerned right now.

About your salvation and stuff.

How come you have not been baptized?

Because I never got around to it, okay?

I don't know why you always

have to be judging me

because I only believe in science.

But tonight,

we are going up

against Satan's Cavemen.

And I just thought

it would be a good idea if you...

Praise the Lord!

Hey, we're not allowed to watch that.

Hey! Hey!

Tag me!

What? What are you doing?

No, no, no, no! No, no!

Ignacio.

No! No, no, no! No, no, no!

What the...

Move!

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Chancho! Put him down!

-Fight! Fight!

-Put him down, Chancho! Stop it!

-Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

-Please, stop it!

Break it up! Break it up! Break it up!

What's wrong with you?

But, Sister,

they are just nios trying

to release their wiggles.

Ignacio, they are wrestling

in a sacred place.

Okay, orphans, listen to me.

Listen to Ignacio.

I know it is fun to wrestle.

A nice pile-drive to the face,

or a punch to the face,

but you cannot do it.

Because it is in the Bible

not to wrestle your neighbor.

So you've never wrestled?

Me? No, come on. Don't be crazy.

Listen, I know the wrestlers

get all the fancy ladies,

and the clothes,

and the free creams and lotions,

but my life is good.

Really good.

I get to wake up every morning

at 5:
00 a.m. and make some soup.

It's the best. I love it.

I get to lay in a bed by myself

all of my life.

It's fantastic.

Go.

Go away!

Read some books!

Have you ever had feelings for a nun?

No way.

There is this nun.

I just wish I could take off this robe

so she could see how strong I am.

Well, bring her

to our next wrestling match.

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