Nairobi Half Life

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Bill knows he's about to die

and there's nothing he can do,

because he's the one who taught her

the five-step technique.

He then wipes off his blood.

He takes his five steps.

That's how he died.

Stop fooling around and give me a movie.

This is a very good one,

give me 50.

It better not be scratched!

Why can't you find a worthwhile job?

- So I can be as busy as you guys?

You go on making 50 bob

while we live like fat cats.

At least I'm passionate about what I do.

We love the big bucks.

The Vultures will be performing

at Gathanji Square!

That's where I'll make my big bucks.

People, people!

Even a child knows

that he who smells it first, did it.

Know that the new constitution has

empowered us and we will take action.

You do understand that what's mine,

is yours, and what's yours, is mine.

How can I loot that which is mine?

- People, people!

A fool doesn't know

the extent of his foolishness.

You're right! What's yours, is ours.

But what is ours, is not yours.

People, people!

Let's go!

People...

- Excuse me!

We'll be right back after this break.

Dude, who's that?

This one?

He's the King of Sparta who killed

thousands of people with his bare hands.

Mwas, show him!

- What's that?

You want a demonstration?

This is the story of a Spartan boy.

Just like you.

Are you done?

People, people!

Let me tell you... - What were you

saying? Smell on his behalf or smell him?

I tried to remember it. Nothing!

I tried to get a rhythm.

Blundering is your expertise.

- Excuse me,

I'd like to join the Vultures.

"I'd like to join... "

- Let me talk to this guy.

How can I become an actor?

- You're good.

Thanks.

- But you live in a village.

I could come to Nairobi.

And then what?

- Can you help me?

Well maybe.

Maybe.

But you'll need an agent.

An agent?

How do I find an agent?

You're looking at one.

- Really?

Can you help me?

- Well,

of course I can. It'll cost you 5,000.

Don't worry, my friend, don't worry.

No need to get worked up.

I understand. You're nothing but

a suffering artist

trying to make it big. - Big, yes!

So give me 1,000 and I'll hook you up.

1,000?

It's all I have.

- Bring the rest to the National Theatre.

No problem.

- When you get there, ask for Jose.

I'm always there. Cool?

Got it, my man.

- OK.

What, Mwas? 500?

Give you 500 of my own money?

Stop treating me like an idiot.

What do you take me for?

Don't you think I know what I'm doing?

You don't! You have no idea!

You think one day you'll be a star

like Bruce Willis! Who are you kidding?

Go to hell.

No wonder you're always broke.

Let's drink and be merry

for a child is born.

Now, Mwas, seriously,

look at your dad. He drinks like a fish.

Do you want to leave me alone with him?

You want me to feel guilty?

- History will always be a lie.

Look at the leaders of tomorrow!

Look at the leaders of tomorrow!

What bullshit!

Why have you come

to my home without my permission?

Are these the bars

you put up to keep me out?

You have decided I can't think?

Aren't you ashamed of yourselves?

Why are you always in other folks' homes?

Don't you have husbands to cook for?

Is this alcohol or a curse?

- What are you asking?

Is it your booze

or did you buy some and I poured it?

I'd better go.

What?

Mwas! I'm talking to you. Come here!

Stop staring at me

like those movies you sell.

What is it?

I'm going to Nairobi.

Really?

That's fine, but know this:

be wary of alcohol

and women.

Nairobi has the worst people.

You see, the better you become,

the harder they try to stop you.

In Nairobi you can't be good and make it.

Let me tell you, Nairobi is not a city

for brilliance. - Is there a good place?

Nowhere! The whole society is as rotten

as Babylon!

Why don't you go to sleep

and leave the children in peace?

Since when do you tell me

when to go to sleep?

Mwas, the last time you were in Nairobi

you were a small boy.

That place is where poverty,

disease and the devil live.

Do you know that?

Here.

Go. And remember your mother's words.

1,000? Not unless I'm marrying you!

Sit down.

So you have decided to work like a man?

If you're going to Nairobi,

there's a package

I want you to take somewhere.

OK?

There's an Indian shop on River Road

called Khanji Electronics, got that?

OK?

Mwangi, where are you going

with so much luggage?

Nairobi.

- Have a safe journey, Mwangi.

Easy, man, let go of the bag.

Easy, easy. What happened?

God!

- Go look for these people.

God!

Come here!

- No!

It wasn't me!

- You don't think I work here?

Don't hit me! I'm sorry!

- Let's go!

Name?

Sir, there's a mistake. I'm innocent.

Answer the question!

- Let me tell you what happened.

Name?

- George Mwangi.

I haven't done anything.

In fact I'm the one who got robbed.

Young man, I didn't bring you here.

So give me your phone and your wallet.

I have nothing left!

Didn't I just tell you I got robbed?

Rono, lock this one up!

Honestly, sir, I'm not lying to you.

I only got here this morning and then...

We're not here to work for one person.

I'm not lying. I got here this morning!

- They all want to be attended to!

Quiet! Belt.

- I don't know what's happening...

Let's go.

In here.

Come here. Where's the knife?

- I don't have one! - Where is it?

I saw you with it!

You've hidden it up your arse!

Where's the knife?

Where is it?

Get out of here, b*tch!

He doesn't even have money...

What?

- Nothing. - F*ggot!

Can someone clean this toilet?

Sh*t!

Which one do you want?

Dude,

haven't you started from the gutter?

Don't worry,

tomorrow morning you'll be released.

But when you get out,

you need to know that for survival

in Nairobi you have to be smart.

Where do I start?

Go downtown to Kirinyaga Road.

Near Nyayo Market

there's a neighbourhood called Gaza.

Ask for Dingo.

Tell him I sent you. Cool?

Cool.

When will you get out?

We always get out.

Here I am!

I see you.

When are the auditions?

- There are no auditions.

What?

You have to sort yourself out.

What? You played me!

Take it easy, my man.

Nairobi is like that.

My God!

Excuse me, we're rehearsing.

Can I get an audition?

- You should check the notice board.

What dungeon are you from?

All you Kikuyus

are thieves!

- Sorry. - Sorry?

Sorry won't bring back my stereos.

- How much? I'll get it for you.

You're as stupid as that daddy of yours!

The 20,000 will come from your arse!

20,000?

- Minimum!

I promise I will find the money.

Don't tell Daddy M. - Idiot!

Motherf***er! Out!

Please don't tell him!

- Out! - Please!

Where's Dingo's place?

- Dingo is in there.

I'm not lying! Ask him, you lazy bums!

I'm looking for Dingo.

And who are you?

My name is Mwas. Oti sent me.

He told me to ask for Dingo.

- Which Oti?

Oti and I were in Central.

Talk to me.

I need a life.

We don't sell lives here.

Could you hook me up with a job?

What do you think this is?

The labour office?

Not really. I'm just looking for

something to keep me going for a while.

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