Nancy, Please Page #2

don't know if I mentioned

the uh, Little Dorrit

the book I left, is pretty urgent.

I actually need it

for my dissertation.

So, it's not like a regular book.

Let me know, uh, when would

be a good time to come by...

(CLAMORING)

(AGGRAVATED RUSTLING)

(WOOD DOORS BANG)

(RATTLING, FALLING ITEMS)

(RATTLING)

(SQUEAKING, RATTLING)

It is incontestable,

that the fragments of a work

that have found their way

into the popular memory,

are not jewels of

realist description.

Realist description

being, of course,

what Elliot is most noted for.

But general humanist

observations such as

the much beloved

remark about what lies

on the other side of silence.

This much is no surprise,

jewels of realist description

can hardly be expected

to retain any sense outside

their supporting context.

Indeed...

The relentless

particularity of realism,

the constraint implied by

that very particularity,

is one of its most

defining characteristics.

(INDISTINCT CHATTER, PARTY MUSIC)

Bannister's looking

very elegant tonight.

- Very... delicate.

- Mmm.

Makes you want

to sprinkle butterfly kisses

all over her stomach.

Until she falls asleep.

You know, what I'd really

like to do is dribble

some champagne down her naked leg

(SCOFFS)

and drink it from between

her toes while having

a jacuzzi with her.

I want to have a contest,

to see who can kiss the softest.

So um, why aren't you

hovering over there

with the rest of the ass-kissers?

Bannister is displeased with me.

I'm way behind.

Tonight I am to be

seen, but not heard.

Hmm. I understand that.

Hey did um... Did Margaret

stop by after class today?

Yeah.

Nice. She talk about

her calves again?

- She mentioned her calves.

- That is so hot.

Why don't girls in my

class just want to sleep

with the other undergrads?

Charlie, I left Little

Dorrit at the old apartment.

W-wait, are we not talking about

Margaret's calves anymore?

No, I left my Little

Dorrit at Nancy's.

So?

It's my study copy, my hardcover,

I left it behind during the move.

So buy another one.

This wine is piss.

I can't!

It had all my notes in it.

- Important annotations...

- What do you mean?

You wrote in the book?

Yeah.

- All of your notes?

- No!

Of course not all my

notes, but... uh...

It has a lot of... I... (STAMMERS)

crucial new material.

New, important material

in there, and I decided

to re-arrange things

in a certain way that is

going to affect the entire

the whole!

So you wrote an outline?

- So do it again.

- No. It's not just an outline.

It's important.

- Call Nancy.

- I called her three times today.

- Maybe she's really busy.

- Busy?!

Doing what? Huffing Scotchguard?

Taking naps? She's the least

busy person on the planet.

You don't have to

freak out about it.

How am I freaking out,

I'm not freaking out.

- What I mean is...

- Ah! Hold on, might be her.

(SCOFFS) No. Text from Jen.

She's going to Donovan's.

Feel like getting a real drink?

Are you f***ing kidding me?

(SINGING KARAOKE)

(CLAPPING)

MAN:
Get a room!

(BIRDS TWEETING)

Who takes a bath in the morning?

It's unnatural.

I feel like utter dog sh*t.

I might barf in the tub.

At least you don't have to collate

epidemiological studies all day.

Why are you even up?

I need my book.

(LAUGHS) Paul, it's okay.

You'll get your book.

Why hasn't she called?

It's only been two days.

Try to relax.

But... I can't do anything

without the notes.

The new... argument.

The new material.

Why didn't you type them out?

I didn't need to. I

had everything down.

Besides, hand writing

has a certain...

ineffable...

F***, I don't know.

Oh, I need you to call CLP and uh,

switch the name on the electric

bill today, ok? Will you do that?

Yeah. (SIGHS)

(BUBBLES, SLOSHING)

(PHONE RINGING)

(RINGING)

Get it! Get it!

- Mmm.

- Ge...

(WATER SLOSHING)

Hello, Nancy? Nancy?

Sh*t!

Cold, cold, cold.

It was her. It was her.

- I need you to relax, ok Paul?

- Voicemail!

Hey Paul, I got your message

and yeah, the book's here.

So, I don't know,

just call me I guess.

- Whatever.

- She has the book.

Very good. Problem solved.

Nancy, hello. It's Paul.

I got your message.

Uh, thank you so much.

That is so great. I can...

come and get it, anytime

today or this evening.

Just give me a call.

Thank you. Bye.

(MUSIC FADES TO SILENCE)

(COMPUTER DRIVES BUZZING)

(MOUSEPAD CLICKS)

(RATTLING, SCRATCHING)

(ECHOES IN WALL)

(RATTLING, SCRATCHING)

(EERIE MUSIC)

(RATTLING, SCRATCHING)

(SQUEAKING)

(BANG, SCURRYING, SCRATCHING)

(BUS GRUMBLES)

(GIRL GIGGLES)

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(SCREEN DOOR SQUEAKS)

(DOOR CREAKING)

(KNOCKING)

Nancy?

(LOUD KNOCKING, DOOR SQUEAKS OPEN)

(DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE)

(SLAMS DOOR SHUT)

(SCRAPING, CHOPPING)

We've got squirrels

living in the walls.

The walls are teeming

with rabid, bloodthirsty squirrels.

You're a squirrel.

I'm not kidding.

They're nesting in the walls.

- I heard them.

- Squirrels, huh?

I called her four times today.

- I left messages. I texted.

- And?

And nothing.

So, finally... I got on the

bus and went over there.

- You went to Nancy's?

- I rang the doorbell,

I knocked, no answer. But

I'm sure I saw movement

in that house. I know she was home.

Why didn't she answer the door?

I have no idea.

To torture me, I guess.

Aw. Nobody's torturing anybody.

Nancy's kooky, but

she's not malicious.

She's worse than Hitler.

F***ing hillbilly.

(KNIFE SLIPS, CUT)

Ah!

- What?

- Ah... ow.

- What?

- I grated my finger.

Oh god.

(PAPER TOWELS RIP)

I got blood in the cheese.

Listen, how about this:

When does Nancy work

at the restaurant?

Tuesday through Friday.

And Sunday.

Sometimes Saturday.

She works every day?

Not Monday.

Jeez.

Well, why don't you just

text Nancy to bring the book

tomorrow, and I'll pick

it up on my break.

- Really?

- Sure.

But I mean, I don't...

need you to...

fight my battles for me.

I'm fighting them with you.

Good.

Problem solved.

(STREET SOUNDS)

Nancy?

Jen?

How's it going?

What are you doing here?

B*tch.

I don't understand, is she

gonna give it back or what?

I have no idea. She was being a

super vague, defensive c*nt.

God it's cold.

Uh, did you impress upon her

how important this is to me?

I really don't think she cares

how important it is to you.

Well, what am I supposed

to do? She's never going

call me again. Do I

go to the restaurant?

I don't think that's a good idea.

She's already all pissed

off that I showed up.

She's just f***ing

with us at this point.

Were you being really

mean to her or something?

What? Jesus Christ! No, it's

not my fault that she's

being so mean.

Don't put this on me!

Well I...

I don't know what to do.

I mean, they're just notes, right?

I mean, I'm sure

you'll be able to...

reconstruct them if you tried.

(LAUGHS LOUDLY)

That's not the point.

The point is, it's my book.

Mine!

I've been eminently reasonable

but at this point it

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes