Nanny McPhee Page #9

I did knock.

I know. I heard you.

May I be of assistance?

Er...

We need you to, erm...

I mean...you saved Chrissie.

And so...

You're on our side, is what I mean.

Aren't you?

You saved Chrissie, and I do not take sides.

I...we... need you to help us

get rid of this woman, Mrs Quickly.

It will not surprise you to hear

that I cannot agree to that, Simon.

Then let us do whatever

we have to do to get rid of her.

Are you prepared to accept

the consequences?

Yes.

- You promise?

- Yes. Yes, absolutely, I promise.

Hm.

Then I will, as you put it,

let you do whatever you have to do.

Thank you.

Thank you.

- [honking]

- [screeches] Aaah!

Look at them! Will you just look at them?

Aw!

The little, small things.

Children, this is, er... Mrs Quickly.

Oh, you mustn't be so formal.

You must call me Auntie Selma.

Oh, dear me, one does work up

such a thirst in this heat.

Oh. Tea, of course. Do go through. I'll...

And leave these dear creatures?

How can you ask it of me?

- Oh, the heart of the house.

- Yes, yes.

- The old bachelor's den.

- Mm.

- Well, l...

- lsn't it enchanting?

Ooh! Have you read all those books?

- Well, l, er...

- Clever.

- Take my chair. It's more comfortable.

- Thank you. Ooh!

Well, what have we here?

I see there is already provision for a lady.

How thoughtful you are.

What a gentleman.

Wait! Er...just let me

make it, er...comfy for you.

Too, too precious.

Here in the centre of the male dominion,

- [boing!]

-..an oasis of feminine charm and elegance.

There, just as I thought. It's dusty.

It just needs a good old thump.

There. All thumped and ready to go.

There you go again.

Nothing is too much trouble for you.

I observed that very characteristic

on the sad day we buried Mr Quickly.

Even in my demented grief,

I said to my friend Letitia Carter...

Remember her? A pinker complexion

than my own. She takes too much sun.

I said, "Kindness seems to be

second nature to him."

"He is a perfect gentleman."

"There's something so masculine

and yet retiring in his manner..."

[squeals] Mr Brown!

[she giggles]

- Urgh.

- Un moment, I pray you.

I don't know what came over me.

I do. I understand. I never took you for such.

But now I see it.

Passion is clearly your nature, too.

I feel it. Who would have thought

we were such kindred spirits?

Passion is my life.

In fact, Mr Brown, what is life without it?

- Er...

- A grey wheel of habit, spinning idly on.

- Mmm!

- [giggles]

[Mrs Quickly] Mmm!

- This is no time for food, Mrs Quickly...

- Selma.

I couldn't possibly swallow it

under the circumstances.

You are tempestuous, Mr Brown.

- Tea?

- Yes, tea.

We must blanket the raw impulse

with that reliable beverage.

[croaks]

That's a nice bit of porcelain. Is that Spode?

I like a bit of Spode. Tasteful.

Anyway, so essential

for upholding the normal...

- You don't want that.

- How right you are.

You see into my inmost self.

What is tea when we can drink

from the nectar of our emotions?

Let the common herd drink tea.

Our souls need a more divine libation!

- [wibbling]

- Whoa...whoo-ow!

Oh! You mad fool! I say.

No, no, not here amongst the cutlery.

- I say! [giggles]

- [rattling]

I must go before my reputation

is in tatters on this rug.

Lovely rug. Is it Chinese silk?

Must escape before all is lost.

Wait!

Heavens to Betsy! You are inflamed!

How does a lonely widow best you?

What defences does she have?

All it takes is one question, Cedric,

and I'm yours.

- Ask me or you'll lose me forever.

- Oh, no... Absolutely.

[Mrs Quickly] Say it. Say it.

- Say it. Say it.

- No!

Oh! No! This is too much, sir!

You are a cad!

A bounder and a cad! [sobs]

- [children giggle]

- Yeah!

[Simon] Papa's coming.

She's gone.

The only person in the whole world

who stands between all of us

and total ruin...

and she's gone.

What's ruin?

There's no time to mince words.

I can't support my own family.

I never have been able to.

There are so many of you.

But you're all so delicious.

When Aggy came along

and your mother was so ill, I said,

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