Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger! Page #2

- Me!

Who wants to go and

see Father Christmas?

- Me!

- Well, come on, then.

Jingle bells, Batman smells,

Robin flew away

Michael Finlay lost his willy

on the motorway, hey!

Jingle bells, jingle bells

'Scuse me, can I help you?

Yeah, I'm just here to see Mrs Bevan.

- Yeah, what about?

- I'm Donald Peterson.

I'm the new Class Seven teacher.

Hello.

I actually can't understand what

you're saying.

- Um, what's your name, sorry?

- What's your name, sorry?

- Right. I tell you what I'm going to do.

- I tell you what I'm going to do.

- OK.

- I'm going to count to 10

and if you're not out of that gate,

we are going to freak you right out

and take you down.

Sorry, is that a threat?

10!

Nine,

eight, seven,

- six...

- OK, everyone.

...five, four,

three, two,

- one.

- Charge him!

Oh, no,

I've got to see the Head teacher.

- This is not funny.

- This is...

Take him down!

I've got a letter.

Mr Poppy! Stop it!

Stop it!

Was that man in charge of a class?

Not in charge, no, no, no, no.

We wouldn't put him in charge.

He's an assistant.

- That man is a Classroom Assistant?

- That's right.

- Does that not worry you?

- Well, yes, and that's why we need you.

We need discipline and focus

and you're the man to give it to us.

If you can work with him till Christmas,

I'll make you Headmaster in January.

- You can't do that.

- I will.

Jingle, merry, merry,

merry, merry elves

We've got many, many, many bells

We're in the workshop all by ourselves

It's Mr Shakespeare.

Santa's little helpers,

Santa's little elves

We think of you and not ourselves

We've got our toys

lined up on our shelves

Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas

Elf Olaf is a guiding star

He's the greatest elf by far

You'll get a laptop, you'll get a car

Merry, merry elfin Christmas

Shake your bells if you love elves

Shake your bells if you love elves

Shake your bells if you love elves

Merry, merry elfin Christmas

Well done, everyone,

absolutely marvellous.

Hello, Mr Poppy.

How wonderful to see you.

Hello, boys and girls.

- What are you doing here?

- What are you doing here?

Well, we're here practising

for our Song for Christmas

and I think we did very well. Don't you?

Yes, Mr Shakespeare.

We're going to be going to

Song for Christmas.

- You are? Oh, really?

- Yes, really.

This is a national,

national competition.

Yeah, and we're going to win it.

But this is like

Saturday night television live.

Yeah, I know, and we're

going to be on it.

We're going to be on it and win it.

- We're going to be on it and win it.

- You're not, we are.

- We're going to win.

- We are.

- Right, who's going to win it?

- We are!

I feel sorry for you, I really do.

Not only are you poor and thick,

you're actually taught,

allegedly, by this man here.

- Excuse me.

- No, no...

- Jess, stand there.

- We need to see Father Christmas.

- Come on, kids.

- No.

Thou shalt not pass.

Don't be so ridiculous. Please.

Don't you shout at me.

- How dare you!

- You...

- Ha!

- Rip my ears off,

- I'll rip your head off!

- Argh!

Stupid man!

Rip my head off?

Agh!

Right.

Let's go. Let's just go.

Licking my face. It's hideous.

Come on, children.

Stay away from him, please.

Father Christmas, we've come to you

because you are our only hope.

Oh.

We need you to help us

grant our Christmas wish.

We're having a nightmare, to be honest,

aren't we, kids?

We really want to go to

Song for Christmas

but, like, Auntie Pat won't let us

because she's saying

I'm not a proper teacher

and saying we haven't the money

to get a bus to get there.

But it's at this castle in Wales

and you can win, like, 10,000.

Christmas No. 1, album.

Everything will be sweet.

We've got to make it happen.

Nobody believes in us any more, Santa.

Well, we're not very good singers.

- Yes, you are.

- We are.

- No, we're not.

- Santa, nobody likes us any more.

Please help us win the

Song for Christmas.

I will try and make that wish come true.

I will do that, Mr Poppy.

Close your eyes and wish.

I think that's a very

good wish, that is.

With all that effort, I think

we might be able to get there.

Thank you.

Now, listen up, guys, OK?

Do not mention Song for Christmas.

What Song for Christmas?

All for one and one for all!

Mr Poppy.

- OK?

- Mm-hm.

I feel like I've got an apology to make.

I'm really sorry about what happened.

It was basically a dare

that got out of hand.

- It was a dare?

- Mm.

- Who dared you?

- One of the children basically dared me

and I don't know if you know about dares

but you've got to do the dare.

If you don't do the dare it turns into

a double dare, then triple, quadruple,

and the last time that happened,

we lost a child.

- Right.

- Just so you know,

I've been with this class now

for a couple of years.

- No, I understand that.

- You know, we're not really a class,

- we're like a family.

- Sure.

I'm like the Dad of the family,

they're like my children.

We're willing to let you audition

for role of Mum.

OK, that's not how it's going to work.

What we're going to do now

is we're going to get the kids' coats off.

You're going to hang your parka up,

we're all going to come in here

and get to know each other. How's that?

- Hello, what's your name?

- Sam.

- Do you want to slip your hat off?

- Sorry, this is a lucky hat.

You can't take that off. She wears that

in the bath, for dinner, in lessons.

Mr Poppy, Mr Poppy, shh, shh.

Sam.

Whoa, she's betrayed the hat.

It's just a hat, guys.

OK, boys and girls,

lovely to meet you all.

My name is Mr Peterson and now

I've got to get to know all of you.

What's this class been working on?

Yes.

Yeah, we've been doing a song,

writing for Song for Christmas.

What Song for Christmas?

- What?

- What Song for Christmas?

- What Song for Christmas?

- What did you blurt that out for?

- What is that?

- It's a national competition.

All the schools are entering it.

It's nationwide.

The only thing is,

you've got to sign this to enter us

because we need a proper teacher

with a PGCD, whatever you've got.

So if you put your teacher's email there,

signature, we can get that in the post.

- Why has no teacher signed this already?

- Because Mrs Bevan doesn't want us to go.

Mr Poppy, if Mrs Bevan has said no,

then...

- It's not far. It's just Wales.

- Wales?

Yeah, it's great.

There's a castle. It's in a castle.

Look, it's my first day here.

I can't be signing forms, allowing you to

take a class of children to Wales

when the Head Teacher said no.

- It'll put the school back on the map.

- It'll put me out of a job.

No, it won't. Please, Mr Peterson.

If you put your name on there,

then you're in the team.

The family.

- This is something you all want to do?

- Yes!

You got much to say about it?

Do you want to do it?

That's Tommy and he has not spoken

since his dad left the home.

But he can sing. He's got the most amazing

singing voice in the world.

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