Nativity 2: Danger in the Manger! Page #5

a bit more of a pump...

You didn't fill it up with petrol!

So we're stuck.

Everybody ready? Off the bus.

Mister Santa

Oh! OK.

Get your ukuleles.

And your bags.

It's all right, you can jump.

Ooh, agh!

All right, thank you,

thank you, Mr Poppy.

Right. Come on, everybody.

You don't know it's over there.

This is... brilliant!

This is ridiculous. This is... Wait!

How's the baby? Is the baby getting wet?

The baby's fine.

Whoa! Whoa!

- Mr Poppy!

- Whoa!

Oh, it's a bit slippy.

And watch out for the crocodiles.

Yay!

- Who's coming next?

- Me!

No, I know, I know.

It's all right. It's all right.

- Just breathe.

- Mr Poppy.

- Be back for you in a minute.

- Mr Poppy!

Oh, wow!

- A donkey!

- Aww.

Hello, donkey.

It's probably a sign, Mr Peterson.

It's not a sign. It's a donkey.

Well, it can help us carry Mary.

We can't just take this donkey.

It'll be somebody's property.

Maybe it's trying to show us the way.

Do you know the way?

I think we've found ourselves

a magic donkey.

Really?

- Ready, Mary?

- Yeah.

- Ready, everyone else?

- Yeah.

Come on, then, donkey.

OK, let's go.

Let's follow the magic talking donkey.

Wow.

Well, this is it,

Oakmoorians.

This is our destiny.

This is the seat of kings

and the site of many battles

and we are going to win.

We are going to win

the Song For Christmas!

All right. To the castle.

Gracie, lead the line.

Grace, stop. Stop, stop.

Where's Elena?

Where's Elena?

Wh... Where? Where's Elena?

When did you see her last?

The toilets, sir.

Was anybody looking to make sure

she was getting back on the bus?

We were too busy

turning round the sign, sir.

Shut up.

Now, we mustn't let this distract us.

Keep coming through. Come on.

- Don't ever say that again.

- Win, win, win when we sing, sing, sing.

Win, win, win when we sing, sing, sing.

Why are you stopping? Keep going.

Why are you...?

That's St Cuthbert's.

Eyes front.

It's Roderick.

Angel Matthews, please make your way

to the Great Hall. Thank you.

Rhys, Angel is entering the

Great Hall now. Over.

Angel.

Roderick, it's so wonderful

to have you here.

- Marvellous to see you.

- Thank you so much.

Thank you so much.

To have a world-renowned conductor

like you here is...

It's beyond words. I am humbled.

Me being here is not about the MBEs

and the Grammys.

I'm here as a contestant

like anybody else.

I know exactly what you're saying.

- I want to make it plain.

- Mm-hm.

I don't expect any... favouring

of our group,

any sway that you might have

over the judging panel.

We expect to win by merit alone.

Of course. Absolutely.

I know you're a man of integrity.

Miss Matthews. Um, sorry. Um...

Rhys, could you please deal with

the gentleman?

A bit concerned I don't have

a private space backstage.

Would that be something we can sort out?

- Could you show me?

- Of course. It's just down here.

Terrific. Thank you.

So it's Oakmoor Primary School.

What was your name, sir?

I'm Shakespeare.

Where's our dressing

rooms and everything?

- It'll be a shared space but...

- A shared space?

- Yes.

- You're not providing us -

Oakmoor school -

with the chance that other schools

are getting.

- I'm merely trying to...

- I've got your number, Poirot.

Don't try it on with me.

Come on. Let's go.

Get away from all this fleece and fluff.

I've never seen so much pink.

You'll get static on you.

Welcome to Song For Christmas.

What's the name of your group?

The Christmas Puddings.

- Mr Peterson?

- Yeah.

I think baby's done a do-do.

It really stinks.

Look. Let's try that barn.

Change the baby and get out of this rain.

Go on. Let's go.

- Wales?

- A Song For Christmas?

They are expecting them for a sound check,

for which they are five hours late.

When they get there,

they will contact me immediately.

You have a school party out there

with two teachers

and you have no references

to where they are?

What sort of ship are you running here?

A very tight ship, Mr Peterson,

until your son arrived.

Sorry to disturb you, Mrs Bevan.

Some parents are waiting in the hall.

Good afternoon, everyone.

Thank you so much for waiting.

It appears that they are in transit

at the moment.

- To Wales.

- Wales?

I think you owe it

to everybody in this room

to give them a clear plan

of what you intend to do.

We're going to go down there.

We're going to be there when they arrive.

If they arrive.

If they don't arrive,

we'll go and search for them

and we will not let one hair

on their heads be harmed.

I'm sorry. I don't want to add to

any of the trouble.

Yes?

They might have a baby with them.

- A baby.

- My baby.

Come on. Come on.

You're a bit stinky, aren't you?

I think you've done

quite a lot of poo-poos.

- All right?

- I thought you might want to...

- ...change him.

- Really?

You're going to have

to do a lot of this.

A lot of nappies and poo and wee.

Sick.

Yeah. OK.

OK.

Oh!

Urrrgh!

That is fierce.

Whoa! Urgh!

Tommy, can you throw your hat over?

Oh!

Sorry, Tommy.

- Anyone got any scarves?

- Check 'em over.

Wrap it under.

Are you really having

a baby, Mr Peterson?

- Yeah.

- What are you having? A boy or a girl?

- We don't know yet.

- It could be an inbetweenie.

- I don't think you get them.

- Yes, you do, yeah.

Who do you prefer? Mummy?

Or Daddy?

Mummy...

or Daddy?

Mum-my? Or Daddy?

Whoa! Boats.

Children! Baby's found some boats.

Come over.

We could use the boats

to go down the stream.

We're walking that way anyway.

No, no, no, no. We'll never get

the donkey in the boat.

- Donkeys can fly.

- What?

- Donkeys can fly, can't they?

- Yeah!

- They'll say yes to anything you say.

- No, they won't.

- Try it. Go on.

- Who wants to be eaten by a shark?

No.

- That's the exception.

- I rest my case.

That's the exception

that proves the rule.

They only say yes

to things they want to do.

They want to do this, so buckle up.

Let's go!

- We don't have a helmet for the baby.

- Babies don't need helmets.

- They do.

- They don't. They bounce.

- I fell off a table when I was a baby.

- That explains quite a lot, frankly.

- Let baby decide.

- What?

If baby claps, we go on the boats.

No! No, no, no.

Clap hands, Baby.

That's cheating.

It's not going to happen. Is it?

- Thank you.

- Trust me.

Ahhhh!

Hold on tight, Mr Peterson.

Mr Peterson, you doughnut,

try and keep up.

There's a rock!

Ah!

No! Ah!

Ah! Arrh!

Hold on!

Mr Poppy!

- I don't like this.

- Mr Peterson, it's brilliant.

Yeah!

Oh! Ah! Oh! Mr Poppy!

Mr Peterson, what are you doing?

Argh!

Come on!

Get me out!

Get me out! Get me out!

Why did you decide to jump in?

We haven't got time for leisurely swims.

I didn't jump in.

I fell! Ah!

We need to get going, Mr Peterson.

We can't just dally about.

I nearly drowned!

You didn't drown. You're fine.

You're just a bit wet.

Shake it off like a dog.

What have you done to me?

What have you done?

I nearly died in a river

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