Nebraska Page #4

Where's your family?

Oh. They're over

in the Catholic cemetery.

Catholics wouldn't

be caught dead around

all these damn Lutherans.

Here's Delmer, Woody's cousin.

He was a drunk.

One time, we were wrestling,

and he felt me up.

Grabbed a handful of boob,

and Woody was right there

and didn't have a clue.

- Did you, Woody?

- Jesus, Mom.

Well, my goodness.

I didn't know Keith White was here.

When did he die?

Keith White.

He wanted in my pants,

too, but he was so boring.

See what you could've had, Keith,

if you hadn't talked

about wheat all the lime?

Oh!

Peggy Huntsucker is pregnant.

Peggy got knocked up again?

- Yeah.

- At her age?

That old cow must be 50.

She just looks 50.

That's what pig farming will do to you.

So, you got any other cars?

No, just that one.

What's the engine?

It's a four-cylinder.

Yeah, but what size?

Oh, I don't really know.

What's your brother drive?

Who, Ross?

Yeah. What does he...

What does he drive?

Ross has a Kia Rondo,

and Marcie has a Nissan Pathfinder,

because she carts the kids around a lot.

So, you all got Jap cars?

Actually, Kia is Korean.

Hey, is this where I can

find Mr. Woody Grant?

Who wants to know?

Um, I was sent by Mrs. Nagy

at the Hawthorne Republican

to take his picture.

Yeah, he's here.

And they want him to be sure

to drop by the office for an interview.

Hello?

Hello!

Yes?

Hi, are you Mrs. Nagy?

Yes.

I'm David Grant, Woody Grant's son.

Oh! I'm very pleased to meet you.

Your father is certainly

quite the celebrity around here.

That's what I came to tell you about.

Dad didn't win any lottery,

or sweepstakes, or anything.

He's a little confused

about something he got in the mail,

and it's gotten way out of hand.

So, he didn't win a million dollars?

No, ma'am.

It just goes to show you,

some things never change.

He was always a little confused.

Oh. You knew my dad?

It's ancient history now,

and I don't want to speak out of turn,

but Woody and I used to go together.

You were his girlfriend?

That's right.

What happened?

Your mother is what happened.

How is Kate?

Fine. She's here, too.

You tell her Peg Bender says hello.

Okay. She won't slap me, will she?

Why would she? She won.

It's water under the bridge.

Don't get me wrong,

I married a wonderful man.

We ran this newspaper

together until he died.

Had three children, eight grandchildren.

I've got no complaints.

Was Woody drinking back then?

Of course he was.

It happens early around here.

There's really not much else to do.

Nowadays, of course,

ifs not just the booze,

but all the other stuff.

For Woody,

it got bad after Korea.

He had a hard time over there.

I thought he was just a mechanic.

He was, for the army planes.

But he was shot down,

being transferred.

You knew that, right?

Thank you.

Oh. Here it is.

- Woody, Ray and Albert.

- Wow!

Wow, they look like kids.

Your dad was never much of a talker,

and when he came back,

he hardly said a word.

But always very kind.

People took advantage of him.

He just couldn't turn down a favor.

Now that everyone thinks

he's a millionaire,

he's a big hero around here.

Well, I'm sorry I can't

print that he is,

but I won't print that he isn't, either.

I'll just do a little story

on him and Kate

stopping through town.

It's hard to imagine

you and my mother

fighting over the same man.

I knew I didn't have a chance,

anyway.

Yeah?

I wouldn't let him round the bases.

You say go slow

I fall behind

What are you having, old man?

Meatloaf.

You've been staring at that

menu for 10 minutes.

Where does it say "meatloaf"?

They ought to have meatloaf.

Well, they don't, so pick something else.

Are we ready to order?

Oh, I knew it.

Dad, do you know

what you want?

Do you have meatloaf?

No, I'm sorry, we don't.

That's only on the lunch buffet.

Chicken, then.

Do you want the fried chicken,

or the flame-broiled chicken breast?

- Fried.

- He'll have the flame-broiled.

And for you, ma'am?

I was thinking about

having the roast beef,

but now I'm not sure.

What do you recommend?

What's good here?

It's all good, but I'm kind

of partial to the tilapia.

No, I want the roast beef.

I'll have the tilapia.

Don't forget to help yourselves

to the soup and salad bar.

On a cold and gray

Chicago morning

A poor little baby child

is born in the ghetto

That's Ed Pegram singing.

And his mamma cries

'Cause if there's

one thing that she don't need

It's another hungry

mouth to feed

In the ghetto

People don't you understand

He always did have a nice voice.

It was the only nice thing

about that bastard.

- He's all right.

- "All right"?

Did you know that he was always

trying to get in my bloomers?

Jesus, Mom.

Was the whole town

trying to seduce you?

These boys grow up

staring at the rear ends

of cows and pigs.

It's only natural that a real woman

will get them chafing their pants.

Mom, please don't talk about

that kind of stuff right before we eat.

You were always

such a sensitive boy.

And such a beautiful boy.

Why, when you were a baby,

people used to stop me on the street

and tell me how beautiful you were.

A lot of them thought you were a girl.

Isn't that right, Woody?

I don't know.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I have an announcement to make.

We have a celebrity

in our midst this evening.

My good friend and the rich man

you've all been hearing about...

Mr. Woody Grant!

Stand up and take a bow, Woody.

- Stand up, Dad.

- Huh?

Don't encourage this nonsense.

Dad, stand up. Stand up, it's for you.

Just do it and get it over with.

Take a bow, Woody!

Hey!

Okay, you ham, that's enough.

Roslyn, you're going to be getting

a big tip from that table tonight.

Hey, little Davey!

Hello, Mr. Pegram.

I was hoping I'd run into you.

Oh, yeah?

What can I do for you?

I just wanted you to know,

I think the world of Woody.

Always a good man.

Thank you.

Heart of gold.

Uh, it's no secret, though...

He drank quite a bit

when we had the garage,

and he messed up a lot of jobs,

and let lots of money walk.

He was older than me.

Kind of like a big brother.

Korea vet, the whole nine yards.

And I wanted to show

him some respect,

so I loaned him a ton of dough,

and I never saw it again.

So, seeing as how

he's come into some cash lately,

some no-fooling-around cash

that he didn't even have to work for...

It seems to me only

fair if we settled up.

So, you want your $800 back.

Woody owes me a lot more than that.

I'm sorry to break it to you,

but my dad didn't win anything.

It's all a big misunderstanding.

You know Woody,

you can understand that.

Right, so you're all

headed down to Lincoln

to visit the roller skating museum, huh?

Look, Davey,

I really don't want to have

to bring a lawyer into this.

Lawyer?

What's the statute

of limitations on bullshit?

Davey, Davey.

I'm a man with a real strong

sense of right and wrong.

And if Woody hit it rich

and I don't see any of it

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