Nerone

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(in chorus)

# Long live the sparkling wine,

# of Frascati and Marino. #

# Live forever the sparkling Asti, #

# the Champagne and the Bordeaux. #

# Among the eating and drinking, #

# with women close beside, #

# we'll be entertained

on the springs of the sofa. #

# Long live the sparkling wine, #

# of Frascati and Marino. #

# Live forever the sparkling Asti, #

# the Champagne and the Bordeaux. #

# Among the eating and drinking, #

# with women close beside, #

# we'll be entertained

on the springs of the sofa. #

Nero:
Ave, Caesar! - All: Ave!

Ave, ave. What's so funny?

Never seen an emperor?

# Where am I? Who is this mob, #

# watching me?

But where do I find myself? #

# Heaven! What do I see?

My vision dazzles. #

# Is it an old world

or is it a new world! #

# They've just dug me up.

Oh, oh... #

# Oh, la la la. #

# But I do not know

how to explain it well, #

# if I came here by myself,

or if they sent for me. #

Tomorrow, if you go to stores to purchase

this article in the Cathedral,

you'll find that it's cheap.

I work in the public square,

for the Bomb Norcia company.

I want to spit blood but I can't.

Stand back, boy, let me work!

Not for your needs,

because needs, we already

have enough, thank God.

Tell me, 4 is too much, 3 is too much,

it's still expensive. How much do you sell?

A pound per meter! Toh!

Take it away, let them see.

If you don't like it,

we have other articles.

Oh, the old days of brave warriors!

Hearts of steel and tempers of glass.

Where is that Muzio, good old Muzio.

Muzio!

Muzio Scaevola who fought the Etruscans,

so strong, he put his hand

in the fire and let it burn!

But is that story true?

- The historians say so.

- Sounds like a tale for the fireplace.

And the rule of Atilius Regulus?

A rule that you nor

I have ever observed.

What a time!

That Golden Age of the great Ulysses!

The most fearless warrior

who ever lived to fight.

Times sung by Homer

and 'Bignose' Ovidius,

and later by Virgil,

and then Nero, the famous singer.

Mucrone,

would you like a drink.

Give me a drink.

Would you fancy,

listening to my latest verse?

- All:
Now!

The tench fish said to the pike:

'What are you doing, oh pike?'.

Replied the pike:'I do what I like.'

Moral:
or tench, or pike,

do what you like.

All:
Well! Bravo! Bis!

We want him undressed.

Gourmet!

Moral:
who falls gets hurt. You

can't spell service without vice.

But this is the imperial triclinium

and I do not see Poppea.

Woman:
There's Poppea?

Do not be jealous: Poppea

is no longer popping.

Where's Poppea? What is it?

You wanted me, dear Caesar?

Nero:
Greatly!

I longed for you. Hi, matron!

- All:
Hail!

- Hail and thunder!

No longer matron

but godmother now, huh?

Ripe as fruit in Autumn,

worthy of being immortalized

in marble by Phidias.

Too bad you put on weight!

Melius est abundare deficere quam.

Unlike you,

you're bones, skins, nerves,

but flesh... nothing!

- Tell me, do you want to take a walk?

- Yes.

- Und spazieren?

- Yes. - Space enough...

- Are you tired?

- Nein. - Nein?

(in German) My biggest darling,

give me a kiss.

You will always be my chick?

And Acte and Calvia?

- They're only substitutes.

- I can't stand them.

Well, let's have some

fun by abolishing them.

Take 100 slaves from Acte,

and give them to Poppaea.

- Thank you. I withdraw.

- Then I withdraw too.

- Ave.

- Ave.

- Ave.

- Ave.

- Bye, Caesar.

Bye, Caesar's, see you tonight.

And I? And how shall I

cope without the slaves?

Careful or I'll give you one in

the face to send you to that post!

Pluto's tail, I am jealous!

The navel of Nebuchadnezzar!

Watch yourself,

I am not a slave,

of that vain...

(SOUNDS LIKE HAVANA)

Who smoked that Havana?

- Hamilcar? - Hamilcar.

- Hamilcar,

take her away from me,

before I crush her,

splinter, pulverize her,

like the glass of a watch

between the gears of a dynamo.

Hail, Caesar Augustus!

Petronius, the arbiter of taste.

# What news do you bring me? #

- Christians...

- How many times have I told you,

I do not want you to enter the

triclinium with a pipe in the mouth?

You took the triclinium

for a smoking room? Hm?

By the poet! And you who

are the poet and artist,

you smoke like a steam engine.

If I do not hit you on the head,

it's because the top hat is mine.

Caesar, the population complains!

They want bread, oil, sesterces.

Says Terces? Who is Terces?

Chastise these ignorant plebeians,

is the advice of Tigellinus.

Tigellinus, are you there? Stay.

Let's burn Rome, and rebuild

it in reinforced concrete.

What do you think of my plan?

Courageous.

Well, I'll go.

Are you leaving? I wanted to dismiss you,

it's even better if you're already going.

Hamilcar!

Here, burn all of Rome,

make it a fire well done.

- Caesar, I go.

- Go'.

# Go, go and come back soon,

I'll wait here. #

Farewell!

Mucrone! Mucrone, bring me my lyre.

Caesar, it sounds false.

Of course it is false...

That's why it's called a li-ar.

But no matter:
brilliant people

will improvise without the lire.

Music and words worthy of Nero.

Piripi, Piripi, Piripi!

Porop, porop, porop!

Parapira, parapappa, piraparapappa,

piraparapappa, piraparapappap!

I'm composing the second part.

Parapiraparapappap, pappap, pappap!

Oh, oh, oh...

Pom, pom, pom...

- I forgot to close the tap.

- Pom...

Tigellinus, the empire is mine.

When you want to poop,

make your own empire. Lie down.

Let's return to antiquity,

that would be progress.

- A fire!

- What? - All of Rome!

Light of Helios!

Don't you know that was my order?

- Beard of copper! Why did you do this?

- Because Rome is mine!

But what about my savings!

Save my savings!

But I am not the fire brigade.

Wait! I must make a call.

Speaking? Speaking! Of course!

If I am speaking you must be listening.

You're receiving me? Oh! What reception!

Ha ha ha. No, Miss, connect

me to the station...

No, no! The fire station.

Huh? Right now?

All right, go ahead.

- What is it?

- They're coming.

- This is it?

- No, but they're coming.

Already coming.

Oh! I admire your diligence.

Yes, I'm speaking with the fire

fighters, you fine fighters!

Yes, it's burning! This is Mr.

Nero, from the Palatine, yes!

What is burning? A fire, of course!

Do not forget, huh?

Make a knot in your the handkerchief,

tell your friends when they arrive!

Huh? No! No!

- You're lying! Intentionally! No!

- What is it?

- Tell me it's not true!

It's not true! - What?! - No!

He says a firefighter came

and left an umbrella, look...

Huh? But no! These

are burning matters!

Man:
Death to the arsonist!

All (together):
To death!

- (in dialect of Rome) They fight!

- But no, it's there. It's the people!

What... What does this

vile multitude want?

Mamma Mia! Mamma Mia!

- We want your blood!

- Take Butter's blood!

Butter, lend me your blood, come!

See? When you need it most,

the butter melts away.

Tigellinus, would you burn for me?

Do you not fear my death will

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