Neurotypical Page #3

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WOMAN:
You're eating so quick

that I thought

maybe something really

interesting was going on.

MAN:
You anxious

to get back to the game?

Hmm?

BOY:
Yeah.

MAN:
You got homework?

[Boy mumbling]

MAN:
Okay.

WOMAN:
Thank you.

[Chuckling]

MAN:
Nonverbal cues.

People take them for granted.

But trust me, when you don't

pick up on them,

there's nothing

that's more important.

Um, how to have

a conversation

without...

without taking it over,

or without losing interest

and getting bored.

"I'm sorry,

what were you saying?

I just, you know,

was in outer space."

I had to literally analyze

how did people,

how did they converse?

What you do is, first, make sure

you learn their name.

A person's own name

is their favorite word

in the whole wide world,

always remember that,

so use it.

And you can actually convince

them that you're listening

if all you do is just repeat

the last three to four words

of what they're saying.

It works like magic.

They will continue talking,

mesmerized

by your validating

what they're saying

by repeating

the last three words.

They're going on and on

and on.

"Oh, yeah, and then he

practically went off the cliff."

Off the cliff?

"Yeah, off the cliff.

He lost control of the car,

and the next thing you know,

he rolled it and he got out.

He couldn't believe he walked

away from the wreck

and everybody was fine,

and it was just amazing!"

And then you just follow,

"Amazing."

And they're so captivated

by you.

And it's probably best

not to talk,

because, as somebody

with Aspies,

you might not pick up on

the nonverbal cue

as to when you're going on

a little bit too long

or being

a little bit too revealing.

Um, not censoring properly.

But trust me, there's verbal

cues that people give off,

so, when in doubt,

just repeat the last three words

of whatever they're saying.

They'll go on for hours.

And they will talk about you

as if you were

the greatest thing

next to the iPhone.

Oh, my God!

[Off-screen laughter,

indistinct conversation]

I don't know.

A lot of the girls in Morganton

I just can't relate to.

[Sighs]

Some of them are just

mean as hell and...

Some...

Some are nice, but I just can't

relate to them.

We don't have much in common.

There's one girl that

kind of liked me.

Her name was Sarah.

We went out once.

Uh...

[Scoffs]

As far as music, she was onto

like Christian rock

and stuff like that and...

I like alternative rock,

some metal,

and...

some old rap.

So...

We didn't really have much

in common.

She didn't play video games

or anything.

She's on Runescape,

sometimes, but that's about it.

Uh...

And she didn't skateboard

or anything.

WOMAN:
I read

Entertainment Weekly

because I'm obsessed with

reading movie reviews now.

I read that

apparently "Grey's Anatomy"

is getting

this female doctor

with Asperger Syndrome.

And, you know, ordinarily, you'd

think that was really good,

but they mention that

her problems are going to be

like communicating with people,

and that she's going to be

one of the only characters

on the show

who doesn't end up having sex.

And I felt like I wanted to barf

when I heard that, because

I don't want this doctor to just

teach them a bunch of lessons

about how lucky they are

or something trite like that.

I want her to actually have

experiences out of this, too.

So I hope that the writers

allow her to make mistakes

and have like relationships.

'Cause it is possible

for people with autism

to be romantically involved

with other people, you know.

Just because Temple Grandin

doesn't do it

doesn't mean

that it never happens.

You know, people

might look at me

and maybe they think I'm

attractive, maybe they don't.

It really doesn't matter

if you are or not

because some people are going to

not find you attractive

and other people are just

going to think,

you know, that you are

just a god.

But whether you are or not,

it's always like really hard

to flirt.

I mean...

So I just always...

develop like these rules.

Like, okay, um...

she touches me on my arm,

that's a green light for me

to move closer in.

She touches me on my leg,

she wants me to kiss her.

Um...

If I don't know,

and I want to go for --

and I'm really, really, really,

really nervous,

and I don't know what to do

to initiate

a good-night kiss

or something like that,

what I'll do is

I'll touch her hair

and I'll compliment her hair

being extraordinarily soft

or something.

And if she backs away,

I know that she doesn't want me

to kiss her good night,

and I don't know why,

but at least for me,

I don't know, it's a crutch

that I use

to hobble into

the kiss good night.

Um, but, you know,

I really don't know what

I'm doing.

I sometimes think that I'm,

you know, almost incompatible

because of my Aspies.

And it's funny because people

might think,

"Well, gosh,

you seem really normal."

Yeah, well, you don't have

to live with me.

And it's usually when people

only get to really know me

that all these behaviors

creep out

and they get frustrated

and...

The only difference now is,

having been diagnosed

with Asperger Syndrome,

I know better than to try

and change myself.

MAN:
I don't get instructions

verbally very well,

and I would always

just kind of look around

and try to figure out

what's going on in the gym.

And with tag, it's apparent

that being "it" is not desirable

because the person who's "it"

tries to tag someone else

so that they're "it."

I was never tagged,

and so I just assumed

that I was really great at tag

and I was winning.

And no one chased me.

I was just standing

in the gym, winning.

[Chuckles]

But it was really boring.

And one day I just left,

I just took a walk

in the corridors,

and somebody went after me

and herded me back to the gym

and informed me that

not being tagged

is not actually winning

at tag,

that you actually are supposed

to be tagged.

And while I don't remember that

she used this word specifically,

essentially she said,

"Well, you're just supposed to

get in there and frolic,

go frolic, you're a kid."

And so then I was back

in the gym,

back in the tag game,

still standing in the gym

but I wasn't winning anymore.

So...

And I wasn't frolicking, either.

[Laughter]

I lack that gene.

So I gave way more thought

to the game of tag

for the next several years

than anyone should.

And I figured out that being

"it" is desirable

and you pretend

that it's not desirable.

But since it really is

desirable,

you only try to tag people

that you like.

And nobody, to my knowledge,

disliked me.

But very few people even

really knew me,

so I wasn't tagged.

So being "it" is desirable

and you pretend that it's not.

And then, much later,

in college,

I realized that there's only

one sense, not five,

and the one is touch.

That what we call touch is the

least sensitive form of touch.

That when you see,

you've got light

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