Newcastle Page #3

(Debra) What are they?

(Nathan) Fergus, try this.

- (Andy) S'mores.

- Do it. Do it. Do it.

- I am not eating that.

- It's so good, man.

- There you are!

- Do it, it's good. Trust me.

Give me some.

Give me some.

(Debra) I'm not eating that.

This is awful! (Giggles)

Sh*t, man.

These s'mores are good.

They're real good.

Good, yeah.

(Choking)

This is gnarly, man!

Oh, f***ing real.

(Laughter continues)

(Fergus chokes)

- Wait. Wait.

- (Laughter continues)

- Hey. Debra.

- Shh!

Wait. And here's to Andy.

The next Pro Junior Champ, eh?

There's a lot of guys

I gotta beat before that happens.

- Ripley for one.

- Ripley?! I like the guy, but f***.

Ripley, man?

You could piss all over Ripley, dude.

You, Andy.

You're a world champion, mate.

(Nathan scoffs)

(Scotty) Shut the f*** up. He is!

(Andy) Scotty.

- (Scotty) Don't youse reckon?

- Scotty!

He's never gonna be world champion.

He doesn't want it.

- What, like you, you mean?

- F***ing oath.

Yeah, look, Jess, mate. Get over it, hey?

There's more to life.

If you'd didn't f*** me up

I'd be halfway there already.

Look, we're all having a good time here,

don't ruin it.

I don't want to mess up

your perfect life.

- What?

- (Debra) Jesse!

- I got no one paying my way, do I?

- You don't f***ing know anything, Jess!

- Go f*** yourself, Nathan.

- You dudes! Don't go there.

It's not about all that sh*t.

I don't have a dad who's an agent either,

do I, Andy?

Dude.

You guys get whatever you want

for doing nothing.

- Jesse, just chill out.

- F*** off, Fergus.

Great, Jesse, yeah. You're better than

all your friends, you don't need anyone,

and you're going to be world champ, great,

we all agree. OK?

Yeah, well, we all know

why you're here, don't we, Faggus?

I mean, what? You think

he's gonna let you suck his dick?

(Laughs)

Whatever.

Yeah, run, you p*ssy.

Yeah, real good, Jesse.

Way to go, Jess. Way to go, mate.

You know what? F*** this!

Hey, you.

I'm just sick of their sh*t.

You know, I'm as good as Andy is.

- Jesse, come on.

- I'm gonna make the tour.

Shut up.

Looks like a face.

Er...you mean the saucepan?

Yeah.

Looks like one of those faces

Picasso paints, doesn't it?

See? The eyes, the nose,

and those stars over there

look like a mouth.

- What, you know who Picasso is?

- (Laughs) Yeah, I'm not an idiot.

It's just that when I tell people

it looks like a face,

they just think I'm weird.

- Well, you are.

- What do you mean?

(Laughs) I'm just messing with ya.

It'd be cool to know

what all those stars were, though.

- You know, like...

- Astronomy?

Yeah. I'm into that stuff.

Me too.

Hey, check this out.

(Andy) That's weird.

Looks like we're looking down.

Yeah. Something about the angle.

# Is there a place where I can go #

# Where the stories all unfold... #

Can I start again?

(All laugh)

Shut up, d*ckhead.

This is what he does,

oi, this is what he does every time.

- Shut up.

- It is!

- Shut up!

- Give me that.

- Give me that.

- No chance. I'm playing, OK?

Are you ready?

# And you know #

# Yeah, you know #

# It's a lonely road #

# And I swear #

# Every story has a turning point #

# Every journey has some roads

way out of joint #

- (Mouths lyrics)

- # Every battle has a setting sun #

# And even stars

they only burn so long #

# And then they're gone #

It's kind of...kind of John Mayer

but a little bit different.

We've sort of got our own sound.

I liked it.

Yeah?

Yeah, well, I wrote the words, so...

F*** it.

(Sighs) See?

We're just like all them stars.

Little specks of nothing.

Random dots lighting up the sky.

- I loved it.

- Yeah?

You, er, ready for the comp

next weekend?

I so don't care about any of that stuff.

Really?

Really.

My dad's all about it.

He's a surf agent.

Well, that's good. Isn't it?

Yeah, if you want an agent.

I mean...

..he sends me sh*t.

He keeps saying this is the year

that he's going to move back.

He never does.

I know he won't.

I don't care if you look at me, Fergus.

- Oh, I was just...

- It's no big deal, mate.

(Fergus sighs)

(Giggling)

Sorry.

(Both laugh)

(Scotty) Hey, Nate!

(Giggling)

Should have known.

Should have known!

Yeah.

# Oh, I don't want

no complication #

# I don't need no obligation #

Do you want to?

- I don't know.

- Come on.

I do, but...

I really like you, Deb.

I mean that. I really do.

Right. Do you have a condom?

Oh, sh*t, no. Do you?

- No.

- F***.

I'll pull out.

- Jesse...

- Come on, I promise.

OK.

- There?

- You're too high.

Wait. Down.

Ow. Wait.

Oh! Oh! Oh, sh*t, yeah.

(Moans)

Oh, sh*t.

- (Debra) Wait. Sh*t. Don't.

- Oh. Oh. Oh.

- Oh.

- Wait. Sh*t.

(Jesse climaxes)

(Debra) Oh, f***!

(Jesse pants)

So you don't like girls, huh?

Yeah.

Sort of.

Well, no. Not really, I guess.

You jerk off?

What?

(Laughs) No!

Sh*t. I do it all the time.

Well, yeah. I do.

A lot.

(Both laugh)

(Fergus) From time to time.

So you want to now?

What?!

Are you serious?

- (Debra) You didn't pull out.

- Yeah, I did.

- No, you didn't.

- I didn't come much.

You're kidding, right?

(Nathan moans)

(Climaxes)

(Both laugh)

- Whoo-hoo!

- Yeah, Nate Dog, you animal!

- F*** off!

- (Engine starts)

Who the f***'s in my mum's truck?

(Revving)

- (Debra) Stop, make it stop!

- Oh, sh*t!

(Screaming, shouting)

This is gonna be great!

(Screams continue)

Whoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

(Scotty cheering)

(Screaming)

(Andy) That ain't good.

See me now, Roy Boy! (Laughs)

Whoo! Whoo-hoo!

- F***!

- You OK?

What motherf***er...?

What the f*** are you doing,

you f***ing idiot?

Jesso, where'd you come from?

What the f***?! You've bogged it!

I know, I know. Look...

Sorry, mate, I'm not interested.

What the f*** is wrong with you?

(Scotty) Chill out, Jess!

You f***ing d*ckhead!

What the hell is wrong with you?

- What do you think you're doing?

- Chill out, bro.

(Jesse) Get the f*** off me!

You're such a f***-up, Scotty!

- (Nathan) That's enough!

- Jess!

(Nathan) That's enough!

(Scotty) Jess! Jesse!

Well, who the f*** tied the tent

to the car?

Just get it out, Scotty.

Nate! Aren't youse gonna help me?

Nate!

Nathan.

Nate!

F*** it!

(Victor) Hey, stop!

(Man) Bro, we're taking you home.

(Victor) Mate, this is my home!

(Car stereo playing rock music)

(Tyres screech)

(Victor) F***ing hell!

(Turns off engine, music stops)

(Bottles clattering)

Kylie.

Kylie!

Kylie?

Hey.

Go home, Victor.

What are you talkin' about?

I came to see Kylie.

Did you? You're pissed.

So?

- Daddy!

- Hey, sweetie.

Hi. Hey.

Yo.

What did you do today?

Stuff.

(Sandra) Hey, babe?

You wanna go inside for a bit

because Mummy wants to speak to Daddy.

Cool?

It's going to be all right. I promise.

(Kisses Kylie's hand)

- Victor, just...just go home, right?

- What you talkin' about?

I thought you wanted me to come

see you guys.

- Yeah, that was five hours ago.

- I was workin'!

Hey, boys!

Sandra.

Working on what?

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