Newness Page #5

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but I can also have the

freedom and the autonomy.

And this improbable marriage,

between the feeling of belonging

and the feeling of

freedom with one person

is probably the great challenge

of modern love today.

You wanna ask it.

- I don't know.

- What's you're name?

She can't answer

all of our questions.

Enjoy.

Thank you.

Hi, thank you so much, gabi.

Hi gabi.

- Martin.

- I'm Martin.

Very nice to meet you.

Hey Martin.

- How's it going?

- Good, good.

Thank you so much,

it was amazing.

We are trying to do this

kind of open relationship

and just to listen to

someone recommending it

it makes you feel

like, okay, it's okay.

So we are clear, I'm

not recommending it,

but that doesn't

mean it's not valued.

So if you think of it as,

the thing that doesn't kill

us but makes us stronger,

then yes, but I really

want you to imagine it

less as a destination

and more as a layover.

Gabi.

Say hey for me.

He says hi.

He's always so

excited when he says,

oh say Martin, hi hi, kiss.

How is he?

Do you think they'll

come out and visit?

No I was talking about,

maybe coming on Christmas

but they're like,

they don't know yet.

That'd be fun.

- Yeah.

- I'd like that.

Excuse me, miss, can I help you?

Actually you can,

because I'm like quite lost.

Welcome.

Did you see that one?

- That was magic.

- Must've been three yards.

It's magical.

If half of what

you told me is true,

you gotta marry her asap.

I'm serious, lock

that chick down, man.

It's good, we don't

own each other, but,

it's made us a lot

closer, you know.

And you're genuinely okay if she

sleeps with other people,

it doesn't freak you out?

So far like no,

no one's made her cum,

so it's kinda like,

makes me feel great.

When she comes home I'm the one

that gets her off, so.

- It's amazing.

- It's weird, I don't know.

I'm very jealous.

Ah sh*t.

You know what I did last night?

What?

I read Peter

petere pumpkin eater,

I changed a shitty diaper

and I fell asleep at

eight P.M. in a chair.

There's something I

gotta tell you man

and there's like no

cool way to do it, so,

I don't know how to say

it so I'm just gonna,

Bethany had a kid.

After you brought

her up the other day,

I asked Quinn and

Quinn went on Facebook.

I guess she had a little boy

earlier this year with some guy.

I think he's an ex boyfriend.

He's not in the picture but,

it's all Facebook info,

so I don't really

know what time,

I just, I knew that,

I knew that I should tell you.

I guess she did block me.

You married?

Twice?

Divorced.

Do you have kids?

So does your boyfriend

know that you're here?

Not yet, but I'll tell him.

What're you guys like,

swingers or something?

We're like open.

We tell each other everything.

How does that work?

It works good.

It's just being honest.

What do you get out of that?

What do you mean?

Like I have to get

something out of it?

Well everything's a transaction.

Okay.

Transparency.

Worst off.

Why?

Well, in my experience,

there's some things that

you just can't see

and maybe that's for the best.

What's the goal then?

The goal?

The goal is accepting

that I'm alone.

I spent so many years

of my life trying to

structure it so I

wouldn't feel alone but,

finally you can't own anything.

Not really.

So now I like to

look out at the ocean

and if somebody kind,

smart and attractive

was to spend some time

looking out with me,

well then that works too.

So you acclimate.

I don't know, I

think it's still sad somehow.

Saddest people are the ones

who don't know what they want.

- Hey.

- Hi.

What're you doing?

Just hanging out.

You have a good day?

Yeah, I'm so tired.

Yeah.

How was it?

It was good.

He's cool.

You know, he has no bullshit.

It was fun.

The sunset was amazing.

Were you guys safe?

What?

Were you safe?

No no no, we didn't do anything.

What did you do?

We talk and we got some drinks,

spent some time on

the boat, that's it.

- Come on.

- What're you doing there?

What?

What are you doing here?

You okay?

Yeah yeah, I'm

good, heading out.

You sure?

- Yeah.

- Where?

To see Paul.

Call if you need

anything, alright?

Okay.

See you later.

Okay bye.

Bye.

Oh, hello.

What's up?

- Hi.

- How are you?

I'm good, how are you?

Good to see you, Martin,

Claire, Martin, Claire.

Claire is gabi's roommate.

- Oh cool hi.

- Know what's keeping

you guys all day.

Oh hey.

What's up, what're

you doing tonight?

Just drinking?

Yeah, hanging out.

Your friends

coming, you just bye yourself?

No I'm alone.

You said that so sad.

No no.

I was having a night drink.

You need a friend?

Yeah yeah, if you wanna join.

Do you wanna sit?

No I'm meeting

up with the girls.

Text me later.

- Okay.

- Bye.

- Nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

See you later.

What're you drinking?

And how drunk are you already?

I'm not that

drunk, that's juice.

You know, gabi and I

aren't actually that close.

We're only friends

because of Claire.

Well not only friends

because of Claire, but.

Really.

And the guys are

really into gabi.

It's kind of infuriating.

It's infuriating, really?

Yeah, extremely.

Because you have such trouble

with the guys, really?

I'm selective.

I'm picky.

Selective, okay.

What're you picky about?

Tall, funny,

sensitive.

Alright.

We should take shots.

Shots?

That was very out of the blue,

but yes, we should.

Okay, alright.

Can we please do shots?

Should we wait

just a minute or something?

No.

Do I have to open your

mouth and pour it down?

Yes!

I sound like a valley girl.

Good idea.

What's up?

What?

You just like do this thing

where you go off and

then you come back.

It's kinda rude.

I'm right here.

Come on tell me, what's wrong?

Nothing is wrong.

I see something above your head

and it kinda looks

like a big black cloud.

No no, nice try though.

Come on.

Tell me what's up,

don't be a p*ssy.

Don't be a p*ssy?

Really you think that's--

Man up.

The dark cloud is

getting bigger.

It's taking over the whole bar.

No.

No.

You need another shot?

My ex wife had this,

she had a miscarriage.

A few years ago.

I'm sorry.

No, you don't have to be sorry,

I'm not saying it for sympathy,

I'm just saying that,

this thing, we talked

about having kids

and obviously she was distraught

when it happened, of course,

and then she asked

me how I was doing,

and I realized I was

kind of relieved.

I lost it.

I ran from everything.

I ran from her.

And school and

everything, but that's.

I just drove myself

crazy with all the

bad stuff I could be.

It was so simple, like now in

the back, it was so simple.

I just couldn't tell

her a simple truth.

I wasn't ready.

I wasn't ready for any of that.

Any of it.

I couldn't say that to her so.

The thing is I always

believed that she

when I was ready she

would be waiting for me,

of course, she was the one who's

gonna love me most always.

And then like,

this morning I found

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