Night and the City Page #3

you'd see a fight.

Coliseum, St. Nick's,

Dykeman Oval, Fort Hamilton,

Star Casino, Hippodrome, Greensborough.

You'd go up to White Plains.

There's nothing now.

If you want to see a fight,

you got to watch TV.

Cable TV, pay TV.

So how come there are no

local arenas anymore?

I mean, you got lots of fighters, right?

What the f*** am I?

It's a different class of people.

The fighters don't give a sh*t.

The managers...

Hey, you see that guy over there?

He don't give a sh*t.

Trainers don't know sh*t!

Promoters...

they're scumbags.

Like Boom Boom Grossman.

He's the king of scumbags!

Hey, you know who used

to come around here?

Al Grossman.

Who's Al Grossman?

The good one, the good brother!

That's Boom Boom's brother?

And he used to hang here?

Yeah, up until about six months ago.

He moved to some Jew retirement

home in Coney Island.

He used to hang around here all the time.

Al Grossman.

He fought Tami Mauriello.

No, not Tami Mauriello.

Maxie Berger.

Yeah. He lives

in Miami Beach.

Who does?

Who are we talking about?

Ya bastard.

This is wild, you know?

I mean, really, I've never

been in a boxing gym before.

This is really wild.

OK, I fill this out,

throw it back to you,

throw you a check for 450,

form a corporation...

That's it.

I'm a promoter?

We run a check on you.

You clear that, that's it.

You gonna run

a check on me?-

Go into my past?

'Cause I was involved, you know.

There are things: OSS, CIA.

I don't know if they'll

let you have access.

Burma, Macao... national

security, you know.

There are things.

What should I call my corporation?

Bullshit Productions.

Bullshit Productions?

You want to see scars?

No, I don't want to show you my scars.

Tiger cages, sweats in the night.

Bullshit Productions?

Bullshit Productions.

I'll think about it.

Are you married?

I'm gonna run a check on you.

Bullshit Productions.

I like it.

Just remember what I said:

Keep your nose clean till the court date.

You understand, Mike?

You wanna take a walk in Central Park,

leave the baseball bat at home.

Hey, Harry, I told you,

I didn't do anything, man.

I know, I know. Just

remember what I said, OK?

Please.

Hey, is this Elaine's over there?

That's Elaine's, isn't it?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's Elaine's.

You ever go in there?

Pretty heavy, that place.

- I always wanted to go in there.

- So why don't you go in?

It's a heavyweight place.

So f***ing what?

You're a goddamned lawyer, right?

An attorney? Go hobnob

a little, you know?

Go in there.

Look who's going in there

now. Big limo.

So what? Probably a star

or something, you know?

A lot of stars go there.

It's a classy place,

you know? It's good.

Why don't you pay for this, OK?

- Put it on our bill.

- I pay for it? I pay for it?

Yeah. You're my client,

so pay for it.

Hi.

Yes?

Yeah, just a...

Just a vodka tonic.

- Vodka tonic?

- Please.

And one for yourself.

I don't drink.

Thanks.

So, this is Elaine's?

Better be.

Where's all the movie stars?

Lunchtime's over.

Is that Regis Philbin?

Give him another round.

Give them whatever they want.

Give them another round.

You can top me off, too.

I'm sure they wouldn't, you know?

Excuse me. Sorry, I don't

mean to bother you.

I just got to tell you, you kill me.

I love your show.

- Thanks, thanks.

- "Thanks," he says.

It's a gift what you give people.

I just...

It's on me, it's on me.

Cheapest wine in the house.

Thanks.

Thanks very much.

You know what, I'm in entertainment, too.

I'm a boxing promoter.

- Really?

- Harry Fabian, Bullshit Productions.

Bullshit Productions?

That's a lot of class, Harry.

I mean, Knockout Productions.

It's like an in-joke

I have with my secretary,

that Bullshit Productions.

So, the show is great.

Kathie Lee's really funny.

You two really work well together.

Thanks, Harry. Thanks.

I hope I'm not saying the wrong thing.

I hope this isn't your wife.

- This is my wife.

- It is your wife.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, ma'am.

- No problem.

- I didn't mean it...

- No, no.

- Harry, thanks for the wine.

Yeah, of course.

I meant that you two have a good

professional working relationship together,

that's how I meant it, of course.

You know, I wouldn't...

I'm interfering.

Be well, Mr. Philbin,

Mrs. Philbin.

- Nice to meet you.

- Thanks.

- Bye.

- Enjoy the wine.

I'm sorry, I just want to

ask you one more thing.

Please.

Sorry, it's my only chance,

I got to take it.

Listen, I'm a boxing

promoter, like I said.

Here's my card.

I'm also an attorney.

Harry Fabian. Fabian,

Fabian and Fabian...

Harry, you want to get

somebody on the show?

No, no, I wasn't thinking of that,

actually, but that's a good idea.

I was just thinking maybe I could

invite you to a main event,

you know, one of my,

when I have my boxing things.

Call the office.

- OK.

- I'll be happy to come.

Good.

Once again, thanks.

Nice to meet you.

Thank you.

Christ!

Give me two!

Look, I get a promoter's

license, 450, right?

- Yeah.

- Then I...

Tom! Then I rent some neighborhood

hall, like a VFW, like a disco.

Then I rent a ring, chairs,

security, a publicist,

some advertising, ticket takers,

a press conference. We're

talking, I don't know,

10,000 bucks, maybe 15.

Then I throw down a bond

with a commission for 7,000

for the purse, the judges, the ref,

the ambulance, God forbid,

timekeeper, doctor, whatever.

So what am I saying?

450, 15 large, 7 large, 22,

maybe 25 grand, all told.

I could bring back the good old days.

Local talent, local arena.

Bingo, bango, it's the rage.

Hello, 1938. It'll

catch on like wildfire.

What do you think?

What do you think?

- The guy's in the john.

- Go ahead.

Look, I'll be right back.

I got some ideas.

You know, I was thinking about

what you were saying.

I was listening.

Give my regards to them.

Right.

Where you gonna get 25,000?

- Where?

- Where?

I'll win it on a game show, I don't know.

Where did Edison get the light bulb?

He went to Con Ed

and got the money, right?

What, are you kidding me?

I'll beat backers off with a club.

I have some people interested already.

I'll give you one name.

One name.-

Regis Philbin, the talk show host.

Harry, I got to talk

to you about something.

That's OK, 'cause it's you and me...

Cut the crap.

I'm serious.

- Doing what comes naturally.

- Harry...

Hey, Phil,

you caught me. OK,

you caught me, Phil.

I'm in love with your wife.

She's too good for you.

Case number 466-952.

Grogan... Gorgon vs. Sanchez.

Judge Parker presiding.

Will counsel please approach the bench?

No, Fabian, look at me.

Now turn around and see

if you see what I see.

Will the defendant and

the plaintiff please rise?

Fabian...

Get the f*** out of my court.

Yes, Your Honor. Yes.

What did I do, Harry?

I didn't do nothing.

No, you were great.

You were great.

You win some, you lose some.

- Anything? Money?

- No.

- The car.

- I bought a car.

What do you mean you bought a car?

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