Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

What if this was your house?

Power's out. Lights are dead.

Your little ones in their bunk bed

down the hall, crying out...

Mommy! Daddy! Come quick! I'm scared!

- You need to get there, and fast.

- Coming, honey! Daddy's coming!

You'll need a weapon.

But first, you'll need a flashlight.

But you're in the dark!

What are you gonna do?

How are you gonna find it?

I'll tell you how.

The Glow-in-the-Dark Flashlight!

That's right, folks!

I'm Larry Daley of Daley Devices,

and we're gonna spend

the next paid-programing block

rocking your world.

And I brought along a friend to do it.

George Foreman, ladies and gentlemen!

Fantastic, Larry, fantastic!

Isn't he fantastic, America?

But, seriously, isn't it true

that just two years ago,

you were working as a night guard

at some dusty museum?

That is true, two-time world

heavyweight champ George Foreman.

I was just a regular Joe

with a flashlight and a dream.

You mean a regular Larry.

But what's no joke is

you're CEO of Daley Devices,

creator of such indispensable items

as the Super Big Dog Bone!

- You like that one?

- The Unlosable Key Ring!

Oh, yeah, that little chestnut!

And now your latest breakthrough...

Say it with me, America!

The Glow-in-the-Dark Flashlight!

Whatever the household crisis,

this is Daley Devices. Can I help you?

Tina, give this back to Stewart.

I don't trust his math, okay?

- That guy called again.

- Again?

Lar! Huge news!

We got the Wal-Mart meeting.

- No! When?

- Yeah. Three days.

Okay, all right.

We got a lot of work to do.

Well, okay, did you just hear me

say "Wal" and "Mart" together?

Yeah! I know, it's huge.

So just take a second

to be happy about it.

All right.

You're totally making fun of me.

No, let's hold off on the victory parade

till we close, okay?

You got it.

- And when does he want to meet?

- They want Friday morning, 10:00 a.m.

Okay, then, you know what?

Cancel that pitch

for the electric saw thing

with the propeller, all right?

- I just want to focus on this.

- Okay.

- Just this.

- My daughter's birthday, canceled!

You can go home.

I'm gonna be pretty late, okay.

Okay, boss.

Hello! Excuse me!

Unauthorized personnel!

If it isn't our very own

Mr. Success Story.

Come for one of your nostalgia tours?

I haven't seen you for a few months.

Yeah, I've been busy.

What's going on here?

Progress, so they tell me.

The future.

Behold, Natural History, version 2.0.

Welcome to The Museum of Natural

History, where history comes to life!

Step up, ask your question.

Then let the next little boy or girl

have their turn.

Okay, where were you born?

Right here in New York City,

on Twentieth Street.

October 27th,

the year of our Lord 1858.

Blah, blah, blah.

History, history. Learning, learning.

Changing America, one child at a time.

That's great. So you're adding

some new interactive exhibits?

No, Mr. Daley, not adding.

Replacing the old exhibits.

- Where are they going?

- Away.

We're getting rid of all this junk.

The dioramas, the waxworks,

even some of the shabbier animals,

like this scrawny little monkey.

You should be careful. He's a capuchin.

It's a monkey.

He's a rare breed. He's a capuchin.

He's not just a monkey.

"Monkey", then. I said "monkey".

Why be specific?

When you're throwing away a monkey,

you don't need the Latin name.

Are you throwing him away

or are you moving him?

What are you, the Primate

Garbage Police? Let it go, baby.

- Whose idea was this?

- Me, of course.

I'm in charge. Me and the board.

Mainly the board.

Anyway, why do you care?

No, it's just that people

love this stuff.

People, Mr. Daley, love "What's next?"

You should know that. You left.

My situation changed.

My business took off...

Yeah, you became a success.

So would I, if I was a night guard.

So where are these guys going?

Deep storage. Federal Archives.

- Where's that?

- Washington, D.C.

The Smithsonian.

There's got to be something

that we can do.

It's done!

They leave tomorrow morning. It's over.

Hey, buddy, how you doing?

How you doing with all this?

You want what's in here?

You think I got something for you?

You think I got a little rope?

Think you're stronger than me, huh?

Is that all you got, huh?

Lawrence! Good to see you, lad!

Yeah, you too, Teddy.

The Guardian of Brooklyn has returned!

Hey, Ahk. Look, McPhee told me

what's going on around here.

- I had no idea.

- Indeed.

A lot has transpired, Lawrence, since

your last visit. One would say that...

- Just...

- Cricket.

Hey, Bocephus! Little help over here!

Hey.

Hey, fellas. How you doing?

Well, lookee here.

If it ain't

Mr. Big-in-the-Britches himself,

come back just in time to see us off!

Yeah, Jed, I heard. Look,

I don't even know how this happened.

Yeah. Yeah, real mystery

how this happened.

Maybe the answer's on that magic

buzzing box there in your hand!

You weren't here, Gigantor!

That's how it happened!

Ain't no mystery!

The fact is, Larry, there's no one else

here to speak on our behalf

during business hours.

None, none, dum-dum.

Hey, guys! It's okay!

I'll call the board in the morning,

all right? I got some pull now.

I'll handle this.

We're gonna be okay here.

"We"? Did you hear that?

You hear Daydream Johnny?

There ain't been a "we" ever since

you put us on the "pay no mind" list.

And that's a cold place to be, boy.

Larry, what's done is done.

Even the glory of Rome

had to come to an end.

Would you please not look dramatically

off into the middle distance

when you say that?

It makes me feel worse.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Where are you looking?

Where are you looking? I'm over here.

Just a bit of wall.

Look, guys, maybe it won't be so bad.

Yes, you make a good point.

But this is the Smithsonian

we're talking about here.

Dexter, you don't know that.

You're missing the point, Gigantor!

They're shipping us out!

Larry, I know you're trying

to make us feel better.

I can see that you're genuinely

slightly bothered,

but it's never going to be the same.

All of us here, together,

in this place.

It ain't never gonna be home, boy.

Jedediah, please! Lawrence, these

are emotional times for all of us.

But it is our last night as a family,

and I don't want to see it squandered

in self-pity.

So who will join me for one final stroll

through these hallowed halls?

- Do you want to go for a walk?

- No.

I'm just gonna

squander it in self-pity.

My dear, shall we?

Safe journey, my love.

Hey, Dexter, want some help there?

Hey, come on, man.

No hard feelings, all right?

It's gonna be fine.

It's almost dawn, Lawrence.

Yeah. So, where's your crate, Teddy?

I won't be making this journey,

Lawrence.

It seems myself, Rexy,

and a few of the signature exhibits

will be staying here for now.

Without the tablet?

In truth, Lawrence,

Ahkmenrah's tablet

will be remaining here with him.

What?

They're going without

the tablet, my friend.

I'm afraid this night is their last.

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