Night at the Museum

Hey, watch it.

Oh, come on.

Hey, Mike!

-Hey, Larry.

-How you doing?

Have you seen Nicky?

I'm pretty sure he went with Erica.

It was half day today.

Parent Career Day.

-Hey.

-Hey. Come on in.

-You all right?

-Yeah, yeah.

Why didn't anybody tell me

it was Career Day?

What do you mean?

Nicky said he was gonna tell you.

Oh, okay, I guess he forgot.

There he is. How are you, Larry?

Good. How are you doing, Don?

Good.

Can you believe this weather?

Chilly, right? Chilly, chilly,

Chilly Willy the penguin.

Leave me alone. Hey, why don't I go tell

the little corncob you're here.

Great. Great, that's great. Yeah, thanks.

Wow, your fiance really manages

to squeeze a lot onto that belt.

-Stop it.

-What?

What? No, it's like he's...

...the Batman of stockbrokers.

-Bond trader.

-Bond trader. Sorry.

Hey, how's it going with that virtual-reality

driving range that you wanted to open?

Getting there, still waiting for

the technology to catch up.

It's not easy,

there are a lot of moving parts.

Hey, do you think Nick

would like Queens?

Oh, no, Larry. You didn't get evicted again,

did you?

I didn't...

...get evicted. I didn't get evicted, no.

I mean, I didn't....

-No, I didn't get evicted yet. It's like--

-Larry, listen to me.

I don't know how much more

Nicky can take.

Every couple months, it's a new career,

a new apartment.

If it wasn't for Nicky, I wouldn't

say anything, I would stay out of it.

It's just, it's too much instability.

It's not good for him.

I'm trying to figure things out

right now, okay?

You know...

...I don't think that Nicky

should stay with you.

-What?

-Just until you get really settled.

Hey, Dad.

-Hey, ready to carve it up?

-Cool.

All right, good!

Take it, Nicky! Break away!

-What are you doing?

-Hey, Nicky! Are you all right?

-You okay?

-I'm fine. Would you get off the ice?

Listen. Their left defenseman

is a very weak skater.

So you go left side, you got

a clear shot at the goal. Okay?

-Cool, thanks.

-All right, man.

We're good here. We're good.

All right. As you were, skaters.

Game on!

I'm good.

I'm telling you,

you tore it up out there today.

Thinking the NHL is a serious possibility.

I don't really wanna be

a hockey player anymore.

-All right. What do you wanna be?

-A bond trader.

A bond trader?

Yeah, it's what Don does.

He took me to his office last week.

That's cool.

So you wanna dress up

in a monkey suit and tie every day?

Like an automaton robot?

Trust me, you can't play hockey

in a cubicle. Kind of awkward.

Well, he's got a pretty big office.

That's not the point.

Come on, you love hockey.

I still like it,

but bond trading's my fallback.

Your fallback?

Wait a minute. You're too young

to have a fallback, okay?

And also, where did you ever

even hear that word?

Mom was talking to Don

about all your different schemes.

She called them schemes?

She said it was time

you found a fallback.

Are you really moving again?

I don't know. We'll see. I mean...

...there's some pretty cool places

out in Queens.

-Yeah.

-Hey.

Hey, Nicky, look at me.

Look at me, man.

I wanna tell you something.

I know that things have been kind of

up and down for me lately...

...and that's been hard for you.

But I really feel like my moment's coming

and when it does...

...everything's just gonna come together,

you know?

What if you're wrong...

...and you're just an ordinary guy

who should get a job?

All right, well....

You know what,

we'll figure it out, okay?

All right? Come on,

let's get you back to Mom's.

Mr. Daley, I can honestly say,

in 43 years at this agency...

...I've never seen a resume

quite like yours.

All right.

That wasn't a compliment.

It says here you were the CEO...

...of Snaptime lndustries.

Care to elaborate on that?

Sure. Well, that was the umbrella

corporation for my invention, the Snapper.

You know, you snap, the lights come on.

Snap, they come off.

Didn't they already make that?

No, no, that's the Clapper,

which, obviously...

...stole a bit of our thunder.

Personally, I don't really see

what the big difference is, I mean:

You know, whatever, but...

...apparently there is a significant portion

of the population that has trouble actually...

-...snapping.

-Clapping's easier.

Debatable.

I can't help you.

Debbie?

Can I call you Debbie? Because...

...I felt a connection

when I entered this office...

...and I don't know,

I feel like you did too.

I didn't feel a connection.

Look.

I need a job tomorrow, okay?

If I don't have one....

Well, I just need it, okay?

Well, I don't know.

I might have one thing.

They've turned down everyone

I've sent over there, but--

Great.

--who knows?

You might get lucky.

-Excuse me. Hi.

-Hi.

I'm Larry Daley. I've got a job interview

with Cecil Fredricks.

-Right. He should still be in his office.

-Great.

-I'm Rebecca Hutman. I'm a docent here.

-Hi.

-Let me point you in the right direction.

-Great.

Teddy Roosevelt, right?

-Yes, a great visionary.

-Yes, definitely.

He was our 4th president, right?

-Twenty-sixth.

-Twenty-sixth.

Please don't touch the exhibits!

I mean....

Riffraff.

Miss Hutman.

I cannot tolerate this type of chaos.

I mean, this is a museum, not a....

Do you know what "museum" means?

It doesn't mean,

"Daddy, it's a big Tyrannosaurus thing.

Can I touch its leg? " No!

Work it out, please.

-Will do, sir.

-Thank you.

Dr. McPhee, the museum director.

Seems like a fun guy.

Control your young, please. Can we?

Hello? Just kidding.

Hi. I'm Larry Daley.

Are you Mr. Fredricks?

Mr. Fredricks was my father.

I am Cecil. Good to meet you, Larry.

Nice firm handshake.

I like that. Tells a lot about a man.

Come on in.

Let's talk turkey here.

The museum is losing money,

hand over fist.

I guess kids today don't care about

wax figures or stuffed animals.

So they're downsizing,

which is code for firing...

...myself and the other two night guards.

They want to replace us

with one new guard.

-Oh, sorry.

-Well, what are you gonna do?

I'd like you to meet

my two colleagues here.

Reginald? Gus?

Where is he? I'll beat him with my fist!

Gus, this is Larry Daley, the kid who

wants to be the new night guard.

Night guard?

No, the lady at the agency said

this was a museum position.

Most important position

in the museum, Larry.

He looks like a weirdie.

Wonderful guard, terrible people skills.

Now, listen, lunch box.

Don't try anything funny.

I once went nine rounds

with John L. Sullivan.

You never fought John L. Sullivan

in your life.

Gentlemen, we have

a job candidate here.

He's got an excellent resume,

a winning attitude...

...and I say let's give him a shot.

What do you say?

Hang on a sec. I think I might wanna

have a little time just to think it over.

Do you want the job or not, snack shack?

-No, no, I want the job--

-Welcome to the night guards, Larry.

Larry, meet me up on the second floor.

I'll slip into my orthopedics and

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