Night of the Demons 2 Page #2

perhaps it would be more constructive to discuss demonic phenomena

from a religious perspective.

Perry, this is a catechism class,

not Demonology 101.

Yeah, but demonology is part of our catechism, Father.

Excuse me?

Well, the church gets its directive from Jesus Himself, right?

Yes.

Well, He cast out demonic spirits

no less than 26 times in the Bible.

Well, yes,

but why don't we discuss some of Jesus' other teachings,

such as love for all mankind?

Father? Yes.

You mean the kind of love we get from Sister Gloria?

Yeah, like on the tip of her yardstick.

All right, boys. That's enough.

Excuse me, Father. Yes?

I have been researching demonic possession.

Well, therein lies your problem, Perry.

You're wasting your time reading the wrong kind of books.

Stick with this one.

Go ahead, laugh.

It won't be long before somebody proves that

demonic energies do indeed exist.

And maybe then, Father, demonology will finally get

the kind of scientific credibility it deserves.

Ah, yes, Perry, I'm sure it will rank right up there

with astrology and trance channeling.

And now my spirit guide says it's time for...

math.

Open 'em up.

Jordan's got the ball!

He's charging down the line!

He's got it. He's got it!

It's 10, 9, 8-- It's going nowhere.

He's got only one shot.

He goes, shoots!

Oh, man.

Hey, butthead, what are you looking for, a fat lip?

I want my book.

What book?

Come on, you know what book.

That's a rare text.

It cost me a month's allowance.

What's the problem here?

Oh, the old sexorcist here thinks I stole his precious little ghoulie book.

Yeah, so?

So what would I want with a book?

Good point.

Perry, Kurt doesn't have your book.

He can barely read a clock.

Thank you. Sure.

You guys think you're so great just because

you're bigger, tougher, and better-looking than everybody else.

I'm gonna show you that--

He said he doesn't have your book.

I'm gonna prove that demons exist.

Yeah, well, you're living proof.

Look, why don't you go haunt a house or something,

let us finish our lunch in peace?

Whoa. Speaking of lunch.

Ooh. Check out those headlights.

That's something that could really brighten my day.

That's what I'd call double trouble.

It's the kind of trouble I'd like to get my hands on.

Oh, yeah?

So do it, dude,

unless you left your balls in your other Calvins.

Just pay attention, junior.

You just might learn something.

From you?

Just watch the bouncing ball.

Looks like I caught something.

Yeah, or something caught you.

Sorry. Slippery fingers.

Name's Kurt. Ladies call me Kingsnake.

Oh, really? I heard they call you Inchworm.

Yeah.

Can I at least get the ball back?

Who's stopping you?

I've got your ball.

Maybe we should throw ice water on them.

Oh! Do you really think that would stop them?

Nah.

Sh*t. Sister.

Hey, Kurt.

What in the holy name of glory is going on here?

I asked you a question, young lady.

What is going on?

I see.

Struck dumb by the devil, are we?

I knew from the get-go I was going

to have trouble with you, Miss Shirley Finnerty.

Kiss off, you old tyrant. We were just--

You are lucky, young lady,

that there are laws that prevent me

from giving you the punishment that you deserve.

In the old days, I would've--

Would've what?

Well...

I can see that you need time to examine your conscience.

Therefore you will remain in the dormitory tonight.

And that goes for your friends here, too.

But, Sister, the dance!

Oh, hey, come on. We didn't do anything.

We'll just give those raging teenage hormones

a chance to cool down.

You old witch.

October 31st, 6:
25 P.M.

I am in the sacristy of St. Rita's chapel

preparing to conduct an experiment of demon conjuration.

I've chosen the sacristy for three reasons.

One, it is quiet.

Two, it is the likely vortex of mystical energy.

Three, it's totally safe.

This sucks.

I have to set up for a dance I'm not even invited to.

Isn't this some sort of child abuse or something?

I'm gonna get a lawyer.

The Church is worth lots of money.

I think we can get rich off this.

Yeah, right.

Neil Diamond?

This stuff is fossil fuel.

This is Flintstones top 10 countdown.

Ooh, you're right.

We're lucky we're not going to old Gory's Jurassic hoe-down.

You said it.

Oh, Kurt.

Got a minute?

Who, me?

Yeah, Einstein.

Y-O-O. You.

Yeah, sure.

Barry Manilow?

I will be using texts from the ancient Assyrian Necronomicon

as phonetically translated by the professor Heinrich Hilmeister.

"Mi-halo shaitan

"ben-el shaitan

shakraf hu y'ra."

"Mi-halo shaitan

"ben-el shaitan

shakraf hu y'ra."

"Mi-halo shaitan

"ben-el shaitan

shakraf hu y'ra."

"Mi-halo shaitan..."

Who's there?

Perry!

Oh, thank God. Father Bob.

What are you doing in here

and why do you have on my chasuble?

Don't be mad, Father.

I needed a safe place to conduct my experiment.

Experiment?

Yeah, and it worked.

It worked better than I could've dreamed.

I actually conjured a demon.

Conjured up a demon? Oh, Perry.

Perry, I have given you every chance I could,

but this obsession of yours has gotten totally out of hand.

You're not listening to me, Father.

I saw Angela. She's a demon.

The legend of Hull House is true.

Perry... Father...

I saw her in the mirror.

Look, she attacked me.

I have scratches all over my wrist.

She almost pulled me into the mirror with her.

Silence.

Now, Perry, you have desecrated the sacristy.

You have defiled my holy vestments.

Not to mention the damage you've done--

Father, haven't you heard a word I said?

Yes, and I've heard quite enough.

Now, go to the dormitory.

You're hereby grounded until I decide otherwise.

No dance tonight.

Oh, come on, Father...

Go.

I'll take this.

I'll expect the rest of your collection in my office tomorrow.

Drop it off before your first class.

Whoa! Back off, Romeo.

Let's save some for later.

Later?

Now, listen, Shirley, about this party.

You know, I really don't think it's a good idea.

I mean, if we get caught off campus,

Old Glory's really gonna rip our head off.

Listen up, Inchworm,

this is gonna be the party of the century.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have a problem with it.

You see, it's Johnny.

Oh, yeah?

Well, if you can't even get your best friend to a party...

Jesus, I can't believe I actually let you

touch my breasts.

I didn't say that I couldn't get him to come.

Here's your invite.

All the cute girls will be there,

including Bibi and Terri.

If you ain't at the pick-up by 8 with Johnny,

forget you ever knew me.

Can you rise above?

Plant a little seed and watch it grow...

Oh, God, what was I thinking when I bought this?

Bibi, you're not helping.

Who cares?

My world is over.

Well, mine isn't.

Bibi, hey.

I thought maybe you would want to wear this to the dance tonight?

What are you talking about, Mouse?

You trying to be funny?

No, I...

I'm not going to the dance.

You're not?

No, she's not.

You're good friend Sister Gory grounded her.

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