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Night of the Living Deb Page #8
- Year:
- 2015
- 85 min
- 123 Views
Are you living your dream?
I want to be a personal life coach.
So, yes.
Well played, sir.
Okay!
You know, I'm going to clean up.
I can't make my broadcast debut
with a scrunchie in my hair.
- Okay. I'll be here. Hurry.
- Okay.
Deb, are you all...
..right?
What do you think?
Is this okay for camera?
It's... er...
You're perfect.
I raided the Weather girl's locker.
Are you ready?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
This is how I always see them do it.
In five, four...
Three...
Good afternoon. I'm Deb Clarington.
It was an Independence Day for the ages,
as a bizarre disease ran ram pant
through this normally peaceful
seaside com m unity yesterday.
Homes were destroyed,
and thousands left to wander,
in search of the only thing that would
quench their now insatiable appetites -
live human flesh.
Unbelievable? Maybe.
It certainly would be easier to swallow
the cover-up story about a radiation leak.
Indeed, for all we know, there are only two souls
left uninfected in this once-happy hamlet.
Is it worth sending people in to save a fledgling
newscaster and her cameraman life coach?
Two days ago, I might have said no.
This one easier to believe for most,
but for this reporter,
it's the headline of the decade -
woman falls in love.
all over the world, but not to me.
Maybe a crisis like we have here
speeds things up a bit, but...
I don't think it can create
something from nothing.
And even though this person
may not return my affections -
and... I am really not fishing here -
it's okay.
I'll always know, deep down,
that he felt something too.
So I'm Deb Clarington, saying yes,
I think these two are worth saving.
So if you're watching out there, please tell the
authorities to send help to Portland, Maine...
- Aagh! Aaaghl
- No! '
No!
Deb.
Deb, I'm here. Hey!
Listen to me, that's the greatest newscast
anyone's ever seen.
Seriously, you'll probably win
a Peabody or something.
Am I...
better than Brent Masters?
Crazy better.
Wait, crazy,
like I was, like, a crazy person?
Sssh!
Can we get, like, two seconds!
I don't know how long I have left.
Yeah, I guess we've never seen
anyone turn before.
- Listen, Deb.
- Yes.
If you want me to, I could, erm...
I mean, if you Want.
You would shoot me in the head?
Well, I... What?! I thought...
I guess it would be one tap now'?
It was your idea first!
Tonights top story, a bizarre twist regarding
a reported radiation leak in Portland, Maine.
Tonights top story, a bizarre twist regarding
a reported radiation leak in Portland, Maine.
A broadcast, apparently originating
from within the quarantine zone,
went viral on the internet just hours ago,
promoting a lot of people to wonder
what exactly is going on there?
I'm Deb Clarington saying yes,
I think these two are worth saving.
So if you're watching out there, please tell the
authorities to send help to Portland, Maine...
No! No!
911 emergency centre's in several
states report being flooded with calls
in response to the alleged zombie attack,
with some calling to ask
if the video's real,
while many others are concerned
for the safety of these two people.
A background check on Deb Clarington
revealed that she is employed at the station
from which she's broadcasting,
but as a camera-person, not an anchor.
Prior to that, she was employed
at a Lady Footlocker,
until she was let go for staging
an unauthorized sock-puppet production
A lot has been said about videos going viral
but, for Deb Clarington, it's like an outbreak.
The hits on her zombie-attack clip
is impressive enough,
but it's the number of her viewers weighing
in and creating their own online videos
that's truly staggering.
As the chairman of the Zombie
Outbreak Authentication Society
I happen to know zombies
and that is not real. H's too tan.
I can tell bad effects work
from a mile away.
This is the real deal, man. It's not bogus.
Oh, that girl is my new hero.
Deb, if you're still alive out there,
I want you to know, you are so hot!
They say they're in Maine?
That's not even a real state.
Deb, honey, encouraged by your example, I told
a cc-worker that he is the love of my life.
He's my boss, he's happily married.
So we both agreed it best
that I lack for another job.
Originally, I planned to debunk this vid
using basic physics.
Then I thought about recreating
part of it with some friends.
Those idiots actually
think this thing is real.
Is the video real in your own opinion?
I believe that the woman in the video
believes it's real.
Now, how sure are you?
She exhibits all five signs of a person
who's speaking the truth.
I expound more on this, of course, in my book
The Five Signs Of Truth, which is available...
What the fudge'?!
As night falls on Portland, Maine,
more questions than answers.
Repeated calls to the Governors office from
this station and many others around the country
have gone unanswered, but we will not rest
until we get to the bottom of this situation.
Now how about this hilarious cat video?
Yes, Deb!
You did it! They'll have to investigate
now, they'll just have to.
Well, I'm really happy for you, Ryan.
Let's get real here. We both know in a few
minutes I'll be trying to eat your brains.
Well, the joke's on you then,
cos it will be a small meal.
Really? You are starting to look
And you're starting to look like
you've lost a lot of blood.
Does it matter at this point'?
It matters to me. Where's
the first-aid kit'?
I think it's in the break room, but it's
too far unless we go through the studio.
- Then let's go.
- Okay.
No! No, no, no, no.
I have an idea.
Hear me, undead!
This man is a friend to us.
He means us no...
Oh, God! Oh, I regret that.
Ooh!
Oh, that was awesome!
Ladies first.
Oh, wrong Way!
Come on!
Here!
Deb, Deb! Come on, come on,
we've gotta get going.
No! Ryan, it's the end of the line for me.
- Okay, I... I... I'll carry you. Come on.
- Where'?
Listen.
We've had a good run.
But I'm starting to get hungry.
I can really see myself
going to town on your liver.
Your spleen, maybe a couple of pancreas.
Your pancreas is actually singular.
Oh, thank you, Bill Nye.
Ooh! Hey, hey! Stay with me, stay with me!
Ryan, What are you still doing here'?
You could outrun Misty Raines easily.
And now you're bound to end up
like one of us or die a horrible death.
I'd rather take that risk than be
without the people I care about.
The people you...
Oh, you mean me'?! Duh!
I'm the people you care about?
I really wish we'd gotten to watch
the fireworks together on your roof.
That would have been awesome.
But now I'm starving.
Okay, he)'-
Here.
Do What you gotta do.
Thank you.
Got him!
- Hey.
- What's up'?
Deb, right'? We are huge fans.
- Are you good to go'?
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"Night of the Living Deb" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 30 Aug. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/night_of_the_living_deb_14784>.
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