Night on Earth Page #2

still kind of young and all, I gotta

kind of, like, work up to it, you know.

What about

marriage and a family?

Definitely.

Definitely want a family.

Boys though. Lots of boys.

No girls?

Girls are nice too, I think.

Yeah. Maybe some girls too.

But, you know, like, that stuff

- that's all beside the point.

The real problem is to find

a good guy for the father.

Tell me about it.

Well, I'm real particular, you know.

And I'm also patient enough.

I mean, at least I hope I am.

'Cause, you know - I don't know - maybe

you gotta wait a while, you know...

'cause, like, maybe it's not so easy to

find, like, the exact right guy, you know.

Like, the one guy, you know?

No.

- Another mechanic maybe.

- Hell, I don't care what he does.

As long as he loves me right.

With his soul.

You know, takes me for who I am.

I know what you mean.

Like Popeye says, "I am what I am."

Right?

Yes. You certainly are.

Hello? Oh, hi, Marty.

Yes. I talked to him.

Of course I know what he wants.

I've heard it a hundred times.

Oh, Marty. Go ahead. Just tell me again.

Try driving school, you f***ing nimrod!

Marty...

I may be having a brilliant

streak right here in the taxi.

Yes, I'm really in a taxi.

No, I can't tell you right now.

Um...

all I can say is...

I have an idea.

No. That's why I don't

tell you things, Marty.

I'm sorry I sound calm. I

assure you I'm hysterical.

I'll call you the

minute I know anything.

Good-bye, Mar-

Good-bye, Marty.

All right. This is Beverly

Drive coming up. Where to?

Uh, just turn right on Beverly Court...

then follow the hill up

to Beverly Circle, please.

Got ya.

It's up on the left. 971.

- Want me to take these in the house

for you? - No. Uh, that's okay.

- Just put 'em over there, please.

- No, I got it. It's my job.

No -

Okay, that'll be, um, 33 bucks, please.

Okay. Uh, no. Keep the

- Keep the change.

- Listen

- - Thanks.

Can I ask you something?

Now, this is gonna sound a

little crazy to you, but, uh -

Well, I'm a casting agent.

That means that I go

out and I find people.

You know, for really big movies.

And I've been observing you.

And I - I honestly think

you have something special.

As a matter of fact, I'm casting a part right

- right now that I think you'd be perfect for.

This is a

- a terrific part.

You could be a movie star.

- What, like right now?

- Well, yeah.

I really wouldn't want

to do that, you know.

I mean, I have a job. I really wouldn't

want to lose this job, you know.

I really wouldn't want to f***

things up right now, you know.

You understand, right?

Well...

let's not be hasty.

Um, I'm - I'm - I'm serious

about this, you know.

I just want to be sure you

understand what I'm offering you.

Yeah, but, you know, I'm a cabdriver.

You know, this is what I do.

Like I told you, I'm

gonna be a mechanic.

I don't want to press

you. I really don't. Um -

But I just want to make

sure that I understand.

Are you saying that you -

you just wouldn't be interested

in being a movie star?

- Nah.

- Hey, you could be a mechanic later.

Everyone wants to be a movie star.

Look, lady. You know, I

like the movies and all.

And -And I see you're

being serious, you know.

But that's not a real

life for me. You know?

I mean, I'm sure there's tons of girls

who wanna be in the movies and all...

and, you know, I -

I'm not saying it right.

It's just that I have everything

planned out for me, you know?

I mean, everything's going

just right for me now.

Well, you can't beat that, can you?

Nope.

But, you know,

I mean, I appreciate it.

- Thanks for the tip.

- You bet.

- Take it easy.

- Sure, mom.

Oh, shut up.

Taxi! Yeah.

Yo, yo, yo, yo, taxi! Sh*t.

Gotta get a taxi, man.

Here we go. Taxi!

Taxi! Yo, man. Right here.

Right here. Whoo! Right.

This is the ticket. Yo, what's up?

Brooklyn.

Brooklyn, man. Yo!

Yo, man! You suck, man!

I got your plate number!

I'm gonna call the T.L.C.I

Come on, man. Somebody pick me up.

Yeah. Come on. Pick me up. What's -

There's a million f***in' cabs out here.

Cash, man.

Yeah. That's the ticket.

This is gonna get me home.

Sh*t. It's gonna get my ass home, man.

I got cash, man!

Taxi. Look. I got the cash right here.

Taxi. Come on, man.

Come on, man!

What -What -

F*** all y'all!

No, you ain't gettin' -You ain't takin'

my cab now. You ain't takin' my cab.

That's right. Just keep

walkin'. Yeah. That's right.

Sh*t. They know you desperate. That's

all it is. What am I, invisible, man?

I don't give a f***. Get me a

taxi. Have my name on it too.

You go to Brooklyn?

Hello. How are you?

I wanna go to Brooklyn.

Uh, come in, sir.

All right.

- You know how to get to Brooklyn?

- "Brookland"?

Uh, better you show me.

Yeah. All right. Look.

Phew. Go straight down Broadway,

and then I'll explain as we go.

Hey, what's up?

What? You new at this? You

- You got - You got it in park.

Hey, man. You gotta put it in drive.

"D."

"D"! "D" is to drive.

- Put the motherf***er in drive!

- Yeah, yeah. "D" is to drive.

So -

Okay.

Hey, what's -What you

doin', man? Hey, what - Hey!

Hey.

- Hey, man. What's wrong with the car? Hey.

- It's automatic.

Hey. No, no, man. It ain't automatic.

Yo. Yo, man. What's wrong with-

Hey, look. What's - What's up, man?

- It's automatic.

- Pull over, man!

Just pull the f*** over! Yeah.

Pull over right here, man.

Sh*t.

What?

Hey, man. I don't think this sh*t's gonna

work out, man. I'm gonna get me another cab.

Oh, no, no. Please. Please.

You are -You are my-

my most best customer.

No, man. Look, you ain't takin' me

to Brooklyn. You can't even drive!

But you want taxi.

I am a taxi. I am here. Taxi.

I know you are a taxi. But

I'm gonna get me another taxi.

But no. No. Uh -

It's important. It's

very, very important to me.

We go.

Man.

Yeah.

All right. All right.

I'll go to Brooklyn, all

right? We will go to Brooklyn.

But you let me drive.

See, I drive and you ride.

I'll pay the fare and all that.

But I drive.

No. No. It's -

- What do you mean, no?

- It's not allowed. Not allowed.

Look. Yeah, it's

allowed. This is New York.

New

- Okay.

Good.

New York. New York.

New York.

Big trouble.

Big trouble.

In big f***ing trouble.

- Do you understand?

- Yeah.

- Do you understand what I

am - what I am saying? - Yeah.

Please drive careful.

Uh, drive

- drive careful.

- Yo, man. I know how to

drive. - No - No accident.

- No accident. Get in.

- No accident.

But don't tell. Don't tell.

- Who am I gonna tell, man? Look- -

- Look, man. Just relax, all right?

- Job. Go.

Just wait a minute, all right? Look at

this. You didn't even turn the meter on.

First thing you gotta do is

turn that f***in' meter on.

See, it turns the light off on

top. That means you're occupied.

I am -Yes, I am oc -

occupied. Occupied. Yes. There.

Then you gotta put it in "D." You see?

I - I know that.

Hey, don't be saying nothing

bad, man. I understand that sh*t.

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