Night Shift Page #5

Go! Roger!

Roger, officer!

Is this great or what?

You ought to get one, man.

This is great.

Everything's automatic too.

You can pop the trunk from here.

Don't have to move.

You should get one. What do you do

with all your money, anyway?

You know...

...I'd like to talk to you about that.

I have this feeling

something's very wrong.

We're this close from

getting caught.

Know what? It's my fault

you're the way you are.

I promised I'd show you around

and I haven't. It's my fault.

Listen.

Today it starts, all right?

Operation Chuck.

From now on we'll have some

Fun, fun, fun

Till her daddy takes her T-Bird away

All right?

When I'm done with you,

you'll be a walking Mardi Gras.

I won't even be able to control you.

You'll be an insane cowboy.

Come on, ladies.

Chuckie, dollface...

...I don't have to eat in dives

like this no more!

Come on, don't be snobs.

I used to be the pickle girl

here once.

Lupe used to be the pickle girl.

Lupe, you now own the pickles!

Say what?

Ladies, I'm pleased to announce

to each and everyone of you...

...that you are the proud owner

of this particular Burger Steak.

Remember, sign the contracts.

Sign them!

This is wonderful.

Thank you.

Somebody's taken over

Franklin's business...

...and we're not seeing

a damn dime of it.

All right!

Let me see if I can....

Can't you see we're talking?

We know Franklin's girls. We'll find

out who's running their action.

Then we'll bury him and put in

our own man, okay?

This guy's had enough.

And next time watch out

whose car you sit on!

Hi, you guys!

Come on over by the Christmas tree.

Come on.

Misters Chuckie and Bill...

...we have something to say to you...

...so I have been elected

the spokesperson.

You take us off the city streets...

...and give us nicer mens to meets

We have furs and jewels

and nicer dresses to wear

And we even go to Vidal Sassoon's

to fix up our hair

We move to nice apartment houses...

...instead of living

with the ratones and the mouses

Because of you...

...our joy is jumping

Because we at this party...

...instead of humping

Check this out, Jack!

Radical!

A new tape recorder!

I was going to get one.

But this one's better...

...because I didn't

have to pay for it.

Okay, Chuck, you're next.

I love presents.

Ladies, it's amazing.

You've hit upon the one thing

I've always wanted.

Wear it, baby.

Okay, there you go, Joe.

Okay, Pete, here's some wine.

So...

...my father told me...

...that I'd never amount

to anything, right?

Fathers get that way.

Yeah, well, he told me that

when I was four.

I'm serious. I know.

Then when I was 13...

...he left.

He's out of there. He's gone.

History. Right?

Told me and my mom we were

too ugly to look at.

In my case, he was wrong.

No, I mean, my mom....

My mom used to be real pretty.

You live with a lunatic

and it does things to you.

This is Bill.

Call your mom,

wish her a Merry Christmas.

This guy...

...doesn't have fun.

I'm going to teach this wild man

how to have fun right now.

We making loads of cash.

He doesn't spend any of his money.

I spent some.

On what?

Are you really interested

to see what I spent it on?

And a partridge in a pear tree

Are we getting out here?

Oh, wait! Wait!

Come on.

What is--

- This is what you bought?

- Chuck, wait!

A cemetery.

Wait a minute, will you?

You know what?

This might not be a bad idea.

Because you know...

...people got to die, right?

Why can't they just die for us?

We just sit back and rake it in.

Chuck and Bill's Cemetery.

This one's full.

Should've bought an empty one.

You wanted to see what I bought.

Your father?

He used to have the smallest stone

in the whole place.

Not anymore.

This is what you spent

your money on?

He's my dad.

It takes a while

for the heat to come up.

I know.

It'll be up by spring.

You know, my father's alive

and I don't buy him anything.

You're like a saint.

Because I bought my father

a headstone?

Saint Chuck.

Not just for that.

You're nice.

Decent.

You think I'm decent?

Remember the first time

you made me eggs in my apartment?

And you took off your robe?

My eyes had a heart attack.

And every time after that...

...it didn't matter

what you were wearing.

You could've worn

a suit of armor.

I got hot and crazy.

There's your Saint Chuck.

It's 30 degrees in here

and I am sweating.

I think we'll skip the coffee.

I'm sober.

I'm sober too.

And I have to talk to you.

- What about?

- About this.

You're a very good talker.

The zipper's on the side, honey.

I got it.

Want to know something funny?

I don't smoke.

Did you ever see the movie, Klute?

What?

The movie with Jane Fonda, Klute.

No, I don't think so.

She plays a call girl.

And she's with this guy,

you know?

A customer.

And they're doing it,

and she's screaming and moaning...

...as if it's, like,

the end of the world for her.

And then, right in the middle,

when the guy's not looking...

...she looks at her watch...

...and you just know it's an act.

I don't wear a watch.

Where you been?

We moved.

William, it's so nice to see you

At nine o'clock this evening

You're drunk from last night.

Drunk, yes. But not from wine.

Beer.

What is it with you? You're late!

It's been mayhem in here!

I got stiffs coming in,

I got girls going out.

Where's Belinda?

She hasn't checked in.

I would not count on Belinda

coming back to work.

What happened? Is she all right?

Did somebody rough her up?

Nobody roughed her up.

Will you put away your muscles?

Something happened last night.

Something passed between us.

Her life couldn't possibly be the same.

Sorry I'm late. Hi, Chuck!

Remember that guy, Schisselman?

He called and he wants to meet you.

He's nice.

What are you doing?

What do you mean, what's she doing?

She's working.

Is that true?

Really?

I have to earn a living, right?

You told me this morning

you weren't faking.

I wasn't faking.

Faking what?

Please, Bill.

Get out of town!

You two guys?

Can I please have

a conversation with her?

You haven't quit?

How can I quit?

Very simply. You open your mouth

and say, "Bill, Chuck...

...I quit."

Okay. And then what do I do?

No, I mean it!

Where do I go from there?

What happens to me?

What happens to you is....

I can't get over the fact

that you didn't quit.

Right!

I didn't quit!

Did you quit?

I'm not a whore!

No, you're a pimp!

Let's stop before we say

something we regret.

Shut up!

I need a ride.

I have to drive her.

Fine.

You'll be all right?

You know us pimps. Fine.

I need the car keys.

You got them?

Thank you. I got them.

- He didn't mean what he said.

- Yes, he did.

No, he's....

He's a strange guy.

He's not like you and me.

He probably thought...

...you two were in love.

So did I.

Look...

...you don't want to go up.

So I'll drive you home.

Wait. What about the trick?

I'll come back later, get him drunk,

take off his clothes.

In the morning,

he'll think you were there.

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