Nightlight Page #2

- A little further.

Right here?

No, Keep going.

I don't think it was this far.

This is stupid. Can we go please?

More?

Oh, It's

right there. Right there.

Chris, whatever this game is,

I'm sure it would be much

more fun with beer.

Chris?

Oh! I told you!

I told you!

- Oh sh*t!

- Oh, my God.

What the f***?

That was hilarious.

Oh my God.

Was I right?

Because if you die in Covington,

your spirit becomes

a part of the woods.

The rocks...

the grass...

the branches...

the animals...

Everything here is haunted.

You might start to feel sleepy.

You lose your sense

of who you are.

You can't find a way out.

That's because there

is no way out anymore.

You come across

the old church...

You know it was

built in the thirties

to ward off evil,

so maybe it will keep you safe.

You ask forgiveness,

and confess your sins.

That's when it's too late.

The spirits are already there.

They take you over.

No matter what you do now,

you are no longer in control.

You find yourself

drawn to the Crest...

staring down the precipice.

Like hundreds

of people before you.

And there's nothing

you can do...

as you jump...

Nothing...

except think of the impact.

Turn off your flashlights

as much as you can.

Light attracts them.

Don't write your

name in the forest.

It's a request to die.

And whatever you do...

never enter the church.

That is where they wait.

I'm a Greek statue, I'm a Greek

statue, I'm a Greek statue.

I'm a Greek statue, I'm a Greek

statue, I'm a Greek statue.

I'm a Greek statue,

I'm a Greek statue.

I'm a Greek statue.

I'm a Greek statue.

I'm a Greek statue,

I'm a Greek statue...

What's it going to be?

Um... Dare.

Dare... Nice.

I dare you...

Mm hm.

To text me a naked picture.

Oh yeah.

That's not funny.

No it's not

supposed to be funny.

No, my neighbor

sent a naked picture

to her own Gmail account...

Bam! Charged with distributing

child pornography.

So, you're not going to

send me the picture?

Truth.

When was...

Mm hm?

The first time you ever

touched yourself

in the swimsuit area,

in an inappropriate fashion?

And Robin here wants

all the disgusting details.

No.

Christmas vacation...

I was watching Rudolph the

Red-Nosed Reindeer on cable.

Aw!

The Clay-mation?

Yeah.

Oh sh*t.

Oh, I guess I...

feel a little bit

better. I...

The Grinch and I had a thing.

This is why Katy Perry's b*obs

can't be on Sesame Street.

- You nervous?

- No.

You nervous yet?

No.

Are you nervous?

No.

Are you nervous yet?

Nervous.

We went pretty far.

Nervous.

- I don't feel good.

- Like how?

Like sick...

to my stomach...

I just haven't eaten

all day, I guess. So...

Well, I mean, anorexia

is unhealthy, Robin.

No no it's not that.

I just...

I don't know

maybe somebody

can feel my forehead.

You're fine.

Seriously.

I just, I think this is stupid.

Covington is full of wild

animals and cliffs,

And I have to get

to work early tomorrow.

This sounds lame, but...

the first time

is always the best.

Really?

Yeah it's so scary.

Cool.

OK. So,

we blindfold you.

And everybody's

hiding. OK?

And you count

to 100. Slowly...

OK? Like one one thousand,

two one thousand, three...

All right. Now,

when you get to 100,

you take off the blindfold,

and then you try and find us.

But what if I can't find you?

Well... Just

scream "Nightlight."

I love slutty chicks.

And I will not apologize

for that.

No one's asking you to, buddy.

Something about tramp

stamps and tongue rings.

Like, I'm always going to talk

sh*t about girls who have them.

But the truth is,

it's instant Viagra.

Plus, I was watching Real

Housewives before coming here.

That show always makes me

horny for some reason.

Hey Ben, you know...

I want a Nightlight.

I...

I just, I wanted to

thank you again

for inviting me.

I mean it's been really fun

hanging with the

cool kids for...

Did we already start?

OK.

One one thousand...

Two one thousand.

Three one thousand.

Four one thousand...

Five one thousand.

Six one thousand.

Kramer.

Kramer.

Kramer.

Come on.

It's OK Kramer.

We'll just do one of these games

and then we'll go home.

Damn it.

This is so stupid.

I'm going to end up

with poison ivy

or poison oak or some sh*t.

So dumb.

Hello?

What was that?

I'm gonna get so lost.

Ha. I see you.

Guys...

OK.

Nightlight!

Nightlight!

Oh! God damn it.

Did you see the Covington ghost?

Yeah, super scary.

If you're really quiet

you can almost hear it.

Sweet.

Sounds like voices.

But what it's, like, the voices

of everyone who's died here?

It's a river.

Yeah. A river of voices.

F***ing phones in the car, man.

Cool. This is my cousin

Richie. He's hilarious.

Yo, what's up, douche?

B*tch-a-saurus, you

bang that big booty blonde yet?

What?

He's really immature.

I don't really

hang out with him...

Nice.

Hey whoa.

Hey! Phone.

Hey! Whoa!

Hey! What the hell...

No phones,

B*tch-a-saurus.

Is that my battery?

Yeah I'm actually...

I'm sorry.

Not cool, man. Not...

You're not leaving.

I kind of have to.

No, no, you kind of can't.

Yeah why not?

Uh... well because...

I am using your

flashlight for my turn.

OK fine.

But, please, please

be careful with it.

Why, was it a present

from someone special?

Something like that.

Well, here is a present from me.

That's beautiful, huh?

Oh no.

I can't believe you're

going to leave me

this piece of sh*t.

You can use mine if you want.

It's a MAG-lite,

so it's like

pretty much the best.

Uh... yeah,

maybe later.

OK.

Kramer. Kramer, no.

No. Bad dog. No!

This is why we don't

bring our pets, Robin.

How do you know it was Kramer?

I don't know. I feel bad.

I think we should have

like, a burial

for it or something.

Hey, why don't we look

for the old church in the woods

and hold a service?

Leave the jokes to me, Ben.

I'm going to squash this

motherf***er.

Three, two...

- Jesus.

- Chris.

Can you be any more insensitive.

I hear that you are the

best at Nightlight.

Well, I'm only as good

as my flashlight.

You guys are taking this

haunted forest sh*t seriously.

Ben, you look cute

with that yellow bandanna.

- Hey Robin...

- Let's do it!

You know I'm really

glad you came tonight.

We should hang out more

often. You know?

Did you say something?

Ah. Silly.

Seven one thousand,

eight one thousand.

Nine one thousand...

Ten one thousand.

Eleven one thousand.

Twelve one thousand.

Thirteen one thousand.

Fourteen one thousand.

Nineteen one thousand.

Twenty one thousand..

Twenty, twenty-one one thousand.

Twenty-two one thousand.

Twenty-three one thousand

Twenty-four one thousand.

Twenty-five one thousand

Twenty-six one thousand.

Twenty-seven one thousand.

Twenty-eight one thousand...

Sh*t.

Twenty-nine one thousand.

Thirty one thousand...

Robin?

Forty one thousand.

Forty... yeah, forty one

thousand...

Forty-two one thousand.

Forty-three one thousand.

Forty-four one thousand.

Forty-five one thousand.

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