Nina Forever Page #2

a nagging grandmother, sal.

So... how's that motorbike

of yours, rob?

Quite a mean machine

you've got there.

Yeah.

It's fine.

I used to have a moto guzzi

myself once.

This is ridiculous.

Fine machine.

Come on,

while we have a moment.

Shall we adjourn

to the parlor?

Here.

Oh, sorry! Um...

Cheers.

Cheers.

Do you mind?

No. Of course.

Oh, you don't have

to read it now.

I just really like this bit.

"Silvio bulge pissed.

Reaching inside himself,

he ejaculated piss

in the urinal before him.

Reaching inside himself,

he pissed in the way

only men can,

with his hands."

You know what I mean?

That just came out!

"With his hands."

You know.

I will. I'll... definitely

read the rest of this.

This is all

a new thing for me.

But that-- that's why

it's so good, you know?

Scary, but exciting,

you know?

It'd be good for you to--

I mean, uh...

Not that it has to be

that phd.

You could do anything, rob.

Don't let her put you off.

Take care, won't you?

- I'll see you next week.

- Okay.

Is she...

Do you want her to be?

No.

I thought you'd gone.

You stopped texting.

There you go.

Jesus, you're freezing.

She'll be there.

We can cope.

What?

Are you okay?

Okay.

Kiss me. Kiss me.

You're so warm.

Thank you, Holly.

It's not gonna work.

I have tinnitus.

And these lights

zigzagging in my eyes.

I have a shard of glass

in the back of my throat,

and that's about

all I can feel.

You might as well stop.

- I wanna make you happy.

- Stop.

He's using you.

God, rob, she is young.

Naked, you could pass for 16.

You're not old.

No.

I'm dead.

If I was just

his old girlfriend,

then I could see why you'd get

your frothy little hopes up,

but..

Come on.

That first morning

when I was naked in the sunshine

by the window,

pushing his hands

into the sand

as we f***ed on the beach

in cornwall.

Or the time

i went down on him

on the sofa

in my parents' front room,

just before he met them

for the first time.

These things

will stay in his head

precisely because I am dead.

You're an oil painting

that's still wet.

Any good memories

you slather out

will just get mushed in

by what happens next.

I have no next.

Nina.

Holly is my girlfriend now.

I don't know how we're gonna

deal with this... situation,

but that's just how it is.

No, it isn't.

We never broke up.

- You died. I couldn't.

- Did you want to?

- No.

- Well, then.

- I'm breaking up with you now.

- You can't.

- What do you mean? Why not?

- Because I'm dead.

Didn't change you

very much, did it?

Well, that's sort of the point.

Why do you always have to

be like this when we row?

I'm not being like anything.

I'm dead.

I'm very literally not being

like anything at all.

Holly is my girlfriend,

and you are dead,

and that means that

we can't be together anymore.

You can't expect me to be on

my own for the rest of my life.

You're not.

This doesn't mean

I'm gonna forget you.

What the f*** do you think

you mean by that?

You're impossible.

I never know what you want.

I don't want anything.

I think that I should

give her a memorial.

I know there's a grave

but she's not there, is she?

Besides, I want to show her

how I feel.

You know you were right

about her grave.

She's not there.

She's not anyplace, is she?

I used to take flowers to

the road where she died, but...

It's just a field

with a broken fence.

You know, what matters,

all that matters is us.

You, me,

Sally and Dan,

what we carry with us.

Like when I came off my bike

the first time, I...

I wanted a lorry to come.

I wanted to be crushed.

Lose my legs or...

I wanted scars,

so she'd always be there.

But you're right.

This is better.

She drew it on my t-shirt

one night when we were out

to wind me up.

She'd decided I'd die first.

Put a picture of me

being eaten by sharks.

Put my name and a date.

So I said, "what about you?"

She said she'd never die,

and wrote it underneath.

So was it after her crash

that you had it done?

Nope. That night.

Neither of us felt permanent

marker was permanent enough.

Her art was all about

leaving a mark,

like a needle in a record.

She loved letterpress.

Old printing.

Seeing the indentation.

The impression stuff made

always...

Are you sure you wanna

hear all this sh*t?

Yeah, of course.

Don't know why

you bought white.

What the hell, rob?

You're branding them now?

It was her idea.

I know what this is about.

You're scared

you'll be forgotten.

You don't want me

to take your place. I won't.

I never will.

You can go now.

I'm honoring you.

Jesus wept.

You're a very silly little girl,

aren't you, Holly?

This has nothing to do with me.

It's him.

Oblivion would beat this.

Would beat lying next

to the heat of your heart

beating in your little

living chest.

The smell of your sweet stink

rising between your legs

as my boy puts his hand

inside your p*ssy.

Nina, don't do this.

I'm just-- I'm trying to help.

I'm sorry.

No, you're not.

You didn't even notice

i didn't do anything this time.

You just rode him like

a little toy rocking horse.

No. Last time you said--

I'm not doing this to get off.

I don't want this.

I don't... want.

Fine.

Far as I'm concerned,

the least you could have done

was leave me a book.

Right now

that'll be my pleasure.

You know, I'll f*** him

all day and all night

and leave a f***ing library

for you.

You won't drive me away.

Trust me. I don't intend

to drive again.

I've had a bad experience.

Rob, are you...

Are you going to say anything?

What can I say?

I love you.

But it's me he can't forget.

I'm honoring you.

You won't be forgotten.

Don't you see?

That is the problem.

And you've certainly

made that one worse.

- Do you want her to come back?

- No.

But I don't know how

to make her stop.

Would you meet Nina's parents,

Sally and Dan?

O-okay, but i--

- how's that gonna--

- I think I need you to.

You know, to show them

I'm moving on.

With you.

Perhaps she'll accept it too.

So what the hell

was that, rob?

I'm sorry

i forgot to ask.

Is there anything

you don't eat, Holly?

We're having a roast.

Um, I'm a vegetarian.

Oh. Um, well,

there's potatoes and peas.

It's no bother. I'll, um...

I can do omelet.

I didn't think

it would go like that.

Dan's writing a novel.

Oh, cool.

Is that what you do?

- Uh...

No. It's a...

It's a new thing.

Our friend

the maths phd over there

helped me set up

my writing den.

And every Sunday

poor old rob

has to come over and give his

opinion on the latest chapters.

Every Sunday?

Why don't I know

about your phd, rob?

Why don't I know

anything about you?

What?

Should I be writing equations

on the f***ing windows?

Are you all right?

I'm sorry.

It's just...

It's just...

What just happened?

You're sitting

in Nina's chair.

Oh, my god.

What was with the mum, rob?

What was that?

- If I can help in any way...

- No, just leave him to it.

If there's anything

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