Ninja Girl: The Lightning Orb Page #2

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everyone in the house dead.

Just... just bring

your voice down...

down at least 3

notes.

Mm-hmm.

Take a deep breath, and then

say the whole of that speech

without taking

a breath.

Those finches came

down that chimney in fury,

as if they wanted

everyone in the house dead.

See? Acting's

not so hard.

I usually go for something

a little less pink.

I like this color. I

want you to wear it every day.

It won't suit

any of my clothes.

You'll be getting

new ones.

And not too much

mascara.

I want a natural

face... groomed, ladylike.

A soft glow

to reflect the light.

Not losing weight,

are you?

Mom!

Oh, it's beautiful!

Now as you see, there's

a chaise longue...

And chairs.

Now, you'll be sharing

this dressing room

with 4 other

young starlets.

Oh, now...

now where have they disappeared

to, those naughty girls?

It's all mine?

Oh, Hitch, I don't

know what to say.

Just two little

words.

Thank you.

And yes.

Yes to a glass

of champagne.

Oh, Lord, I haven't

even had breakfast yet.

Later, then.

Come for cocktails

at the house.

I'll send a car.

It's a date.

Ah!

Oh...

Shall I

peel you a grape?

No, but you can

bring me a mink coat.

Shouldn't we wait

for Alma?

Just one

for the birds.

Ah.

Dry enough for you?

Should have run

another screen test.

Oh?

Show you

at a cocktail party,

see what your acting is like

after one of my martinis.

My acting will be

horizontal.

Well, here's to us...

horizontal, vertical,

and symmetrical.

To Alfie and Tippi.

To Alfie and Alma.

You've both been

so kind.

I feel like

I've learned more

in the past 3 months

than I could have

in 10 years

of film school.

Well, I think we should

drink to birds,

especially the ones I've

got roasting in the oven.

To the first day

of principal photography,

and to the girl.

Our girl.

Not that one.

The other one.

Get that one!

Get it out of the rain!

Wipe it off!

Will he eat

from my hand?

Why don't you

ask him?

Here, Buddy.

Mr. Buddy, sir, won't

you join me for tea?

Oh, Buddy, that is

so clever.

I raise him myself

from a chick.

Pound for pound,

the raven and the cockatoo

are the cleverest

animals on the planet.

Can I borrow

the lady for a moment?

So long as

you bring her back.

Now I want

his job.

Oh, no, you

don't.

Poor guy put out

a call to every

professional trapper in

every state of the union.

Offered $10 for every bird

that was brought in.

"Get your checkbooks

ready," they said...

"We'll be bringing them

in by the truckload."

Guess how many arrived.

Oh, no.

No.

None.

Oh, my gosh.

Did it all on his

own and got fined

$400 for exceeding the legal

limit for trapping birds.

Oh, the guys

are so funny.

"There was a young

man from Nantucket,

"who had such a large

cock he could suck it,

"Looked in the glass

and saw his own ass

"and broke his neck

trying to f*** it."

You think maybe

it's drying up?

Will we be shooting

this afternoon?

Not unless

you fix your hair.

He's angry

with me.

He never gets

angry with anyone.

He just gets bored

in between takes.

There you go.

You're done.

You ready, Tippi?

This way.

I won't change my timings

if you get yours wrong,

so pay attention

to the camera.

Let's go for a take.

Stand by, everybody.

Going for a take on this one.

Quiet!

Roll it!

Speed.

Action.

Action!

Uh! Uh!

Cut it. Rita.

Oh, dear.

Oh, no.

Are you all right?

Are you all right?

You goddamn idiot.

One small peck on the hand,

and he let Charlie get away.

Let him go.

We'll lose the scene, and

you don't even like gulls.

Now what is it?

Jim, we can't finish

the scene without him.

Jim, for God's sakes.

...another

pair of shoes.

OK, OK.

Sorry, Hitch.

That's a wrap,

everyone!

Tippi, I'll drop your

schedule off at the motel,

but the call is 5:30

in the morning, OK?

All right.

See you tomorrow.

OK.

See you later,

Hitch.

Never mind, my dear.

As we say in the movies,

"Tomorrow is another day."

OK,

let's go get him.

Come. Come on.

Charlie! Charlie!

Wait, wait.

Here,

Charlie.

No, no!

Ah!

None of these birds

are trained.

And they wonder why I prefer

to be tucked out warm and safe

inside a studio.

Well, my dear, you really mustn't

worry about the weather.

It won't be a problem.

We're working

with a sodium light system.

I'm using it to double print the

birds when the quantity is too small

or there's too many

trained birds

coming in and out

of shot.

We can print over the existing

birds... new ones, you see.

And in the studio we can

use the same system...

of yellow fog lights,

you know.

The camera picks up any color

images we like, you see,

but leaves

the background black.

Uh!

Get off!

Oh!

Tippi?

Tippi, hello.

Process

in two days?

No way.

Tippi?

You OK?

Hitch says, would you like

to join him for a drink?

Tippi?

Tippi!

Hi, Hitch.

Hi, guys.

Hi, Hitch.

Hi, guys.

"A worried young man

from Stamboul,

"discovered red spots

on his tool.

"Said the doctor, a cynic,

Get out of my clinic,

"just wipe off

that lipstick, you fool."

Not one

for the ladies.

Assuming they are

ladies, of course.

I find it's easy to claim but

a little difficult to prove.

Hi, Hitch.

Hi, guys.

Tippi.

Ah, Tippi. Now cast your

lovely color-coordinated

peepers upwards,

would you?

Bring it up a bit!

It's just

a model, right?

A mechanical

bird on a wire.

We're all faking it

today.

Follow me.

Higher!

Step inside.

Where are

those gulls?

Room for a small one, as

the actress said to the bishop.

Now all we need

from you today

is the foreground.

Your reaction to the birds

attacking the phone box.

You ready

to try one?

Yes.

Oh, you're not

cold, are you?

You seem to be trembling.

The gulls are the people,

you see, and she is the bird.

Cameras, stand by.

Roll it.

Let's go for a take.

Silence on set, please!

Quiet, everyone!

Roll 'em.

Speed!

Set.

Action.

Ah!

Uh!

Ah!

Uh!

Ah!

Oh...

Tippi!

Are you OK?

Come on. Let's

get you out of here.

Are you sure

it was an accident?

I told you I don't know

how it happened.

Get the shot?

I didn't ask you

to come here

because I was worried about

picking glass out of my face.

It's just one of

those film-business things.

Most girls try not to

make it so personal.

I was a model

for 11 years.

I learned any number

of ways to wriggle away

from guys

with cameras, but...

So?

Have a quiet drink

with Hitch tonight

and show him

you're OK.

I can't keep missing

my daughter's bedtime.

One drink, Tippi.

Where's the harm?

She'll be fine.

Maybe a little tired.

Looking forward

to that drink.

Hitch?

What's the matter?

Hmm... Did you get some

shots you can use today?

Plenty.

Thank you.

Is that why

we're celebrating?

Oh, I celebrate

most days

I spend with you,

my dear,

but not today.

I've received a litter

from Her Serene Highness.

Please, do sit down,

my dear.

Your fidgeting

is exhausting.

Princess Grace will not, after

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